Wasabi: M(s)+J = BLAST

[Wasabi]

Last night I finally got to talk to Pengpeng on my webcam! It was a short but sweet conversation. I saw her new kicks and they were completely rad. My camera and mic feed started to frag, and then Skype and my entire computer froze! AGH!! Worst timing ever! Well, it is partly my blame, because I tried to open my MSN messenger, and was told that I needed to update to Windows Live messenger. I'm such a bimbo when it comes to updating my technology.

Today I felt a tad too sore to do any sort of freestyle, so I just did some consecutives and clipper drills in my own free time. I guess the solo session only lasted for about... 30 minutes close to an hour, because I had other priorities to work with besides footbag (fixing my webcam, sorting programs in my computer, sewing, laundry etc.). I played with a Cale McCoy pokebag that I had lying around, because I wanted to play with a smaller bag that was also a tad bit rolly as well.

I played outside on the steps by my house. I didn't count my consecutive kicks, but I reached 10 clippers on both sides with good stable style. Felt good. I also schooled on butterflies, but it's here that my left clipper just feels a tad bit wobbly. Maybe it's the momentum that I push with my flip butter, or that my clipper is still angled when I go for the delay, but I just drop after maybe the second or fourth infinity. I definitely have to keep drilling these in better health, and I guess, in better spirits.

My pokebag has now just started to leak a bit of its filler, so I switched the filler with larger shots of tungsten than the small shots of lead it had before. The feel seems to have been compromised a bit, probably because the tungsten I use has iron in it as well and it feels very coarse. Still, I hope this new filler will stick well with this bag, and hopefully it will break down the facile more so that the tighter stitching can loosen up. 'Tis a good bag.

I seriously can't wait for Beantown Throwdown! BUT I don't know if I can make enough bags for the jam! UGH...! STITCHING!

[Wasabi]

I'm not really the type to make any write-ups for footbag jams these days, but I had a lot of fun at Boston Throwdown. To really sum it up as an overall experience, the weather was great, I met up with a lot of old and new friends in footbag, and I enjoyed myself in the company of Pete's family and friends and their hospitality.

In all honesty, I should bring a nice nylon or leather bound notepad so that I can keep a shred journal for occasions like this. I've always thought about it, but never really acted upon it. And the thought that I really don't have anything much to record on what happened on said day is what really turns me off in keeping a journal.

I did spend most of the weekend making an awesome bag for Ben Cooke. Black hexagons and neon green pents. At a visual and performance standpoint I am proud of making a bag like that, but the consistency in my stitches for it feels a little bit below my degree of ability. However, Ben has provided me some tungsten filler that feels awesome for bags, and I believe this is something that he would enjoy in the bag I've made for him (with some personal touches on the filler from my end). Love it or hate it, if it goes to a person that enjoys the bag, I should feel that very same joy as well.

Ianek has commissioned me to make an extra large 32 of red and turquoise at Boston, and to much of the same degree of empathy I've had with Ben's bag, I felt the same for this 32 I made for this great footbagger. I will post a picture of it soon on B&E. Again I don't have a great consistency of stitches when it comes to making bags of a larger template, but I feel that the method in which I've made this bag will perform to Ianek's liking. He's told me to make it large for "performance-style" footbag, but that it should not "whip" when it sets off of the foot for uptime delays. If you understand how really floppy footbags with heavy shot filler performs, you can understand what I mean by this description. I spent a week in thinking of a filler* that would counter-balance a heavy bag that whips through sets, and I feel that in both design and filler experimentation, I think I've produced a good bag. Hopefully Ianek finds it to his liking.

*There would be too much to type on what I did for Ianek's bag, but I guess the best way I can sum up what I did for his bag was: (1) emphasize on gather and tightness of bleedholes, (2) utilize a filler that is heavy but would disperse evenly throughout the 32 without whipping and (3) combine a filler that would consistently bind together for better performance through break-in.

In the past week or so, especially from my experience at Boston, I've deliberated on my own personal shortcomings as both a person and as a footbagger. In Boston, because of a small mishap with my contact lenses, I was playing blind throughout the jam. I've found how much I relied on clear vision to play footbag, and became spoiled from looking at the bag land on my foot rather than having it "catch" on my foot. A better way to describe this is how to properly delay the bag, like on clipper and osis. I've also found that I became easily angered when I don't hit the stuff that I want, so much that I openly curse or self-serve like crazy. I'm not sure about the cursing, but I really don't like self-serving, or worse, dropping on the second trick. If there is any video for intermediate rippin' run at Boston with me competing, having dropped on legover in comp, as my second trick, really got to me. That is a trick that I should NOT DROP on, but I did and that got me so angry and low in spirits that I couldn't compete in intermediate circle comp. Deplorable.

To much of my surprise, Ben Cooke has a high tolerance for my obscene temperament, both on Thursday and yesterday of last week. I was not in the best footbag shape for both days, but I had a lot of fun kicking. I'm actually very thankful that Ben is patient enough to withstand my irrational flow. Anyway Thursday was a painful two man circle, and yesterday was three with the two of us and Bruce Dole. On both days I wasn't warming up well into the sessions, but when I got into them within an hour or so I was hitting the stuff that I wanted and knew I could hit. Shamefully, I'm still one-sided for most of my uptime and alpine concepts.

Highlights:

-spinning clipper
-diving clipper
-muted shmoe
-blur, ripwalk, sidewalk (muted?)
-really smooth frontside toe blur x2 or 3 on Saturday
-osis x5
-osis > paradox mirage
-osis > opp reverse whirl
-came really close to butterfly > osis repeat bsos
-butterflies x4 or 5
-smear and fear after paradox mirage
-clean paradons

That's all I can really say for highlights.

If there were anything I would like to put down on this post is this: steel filler sucks. If you see signs of rust, wash that bag immediately. Rust stains on footbag shoes look extremely ugly. I'm so glad I'm wearing black quantums, but if I ever have any cuts or scrapes near my ankles while playing a rusty steel filled bag, I will immediately ask for another bag to play with that is clean or is filled with lead or tungsten. I hear so many horror stories of friends stepping on rusty nails barefoot and encountering the "red line of death" that I don't want to deal with rust anymore.

Well, I don't mind playing with a rusty bag, but I fear for my health when it comes to getting scrapes around my ankles and such. I'm never aware of getting such injuries until I end a session and switch to my walking shoes, or come back home and take off my shoes then. I don't want my open wounds to be contaminated with something like rust. I'm still debating on whether lead is still toxic enough, surface-wise, on footbags, but I suppose it has to be really dirty with lead for that to be the case. I still pocket and hand knead lead-filled without washing my hands afterwards, so whatever.

For anyone that can help (concerning filler): If anyone knows where I can get affordable tungsten, likely that of the tungsten that Mr. Abshire uses, I would like to get about 7lbs. or more of that stuff. It shouldn't be expensive, because it has a really low performance rate when compared to lead or tungsten infused with other materials to load bullets (I did the research). Compared to Tungsten/Iron shot, Nice Shot, Bismuth, Hevi Shot or ITX Shot, regular tungsten shot should be far below the price range of any of these shots used to fill bullets. Even the tungsten that is sold at freedom is size 9 tungsten/iron shot, and that should be more costly than typical tungsten shot. I would like to find more info on how to get this stuff, preferably size 7.5 or higher; otherwise, I'm going to permanently switch to lead and stick with it as my main filler for footbags.

Later blog, and sorry for the eyesore readers of my blog.

[DTank126]

Are you going to Montreal? You should, I've been practicing up on my karma so there are good things in my future. In other words, prepare to get your pig passed like a peace-pipe.

[Wasabi]

I'm totally repping at Montreal with some NYFers as well.

I don't know about karma, but I do know that once I hit it big it's so easy to hit rock bottom. That's just how my luck goes. And we got to get in on some Pass the Pigs at Montreal - it will be dope. If I can get this pattern-recognition card game called "SET!" at an affordable price, it can definitely make the weekend!

So... uhh... where the "peace-pipe" be happenin' at Montreal? jk

[Wasabi]

Highlights from yesterday, two man circle with Ben Cooke:

-whizz > neo... something (can't remember, maybe same side butter).
-footed toe blur after paradox mirage
-consecutively footed flip smear x3
-footed spinning clipper
-osis x5 again.
-osis > butter rpt. x2?
-20 tiltless/guiltless again.
-paradox grifters from Ben cooke!

The effects of Cinco de Mayo made it hard for me to focus a little bit. Ben was exhausted from a 2 hour solo session on the eve of May 5th. Still, we persevered and motivated each other to keep shredding.

Stepping felt weak this session. I should try to to work on my flip pixie this weekend if the weather looks good for outdoor shred.

Osiis are seriously fun. I want to spin well into spinning clipper so that I can see stars (... I can see stars, starry-eyed surprise...)

Consistency LEVEL UP

PS: Read up on a lot of good posts contributed in this thread, especially posts from Jeremy O'Wheel (not particularly from that topic alone). Time management is one thing, but I think what I lacked from improving myself in footbag is motivation and discipline. I just have to wake up and keep shredding consistently, even if it's just an hour a day.

[mc]

I love set!!!

I want to get it too. if you google "set game", they have free online puzzles every day.

I gotta get a Set set.

glad to hear about some new moves.

[Wasabi]

Yesterday Bruce was out of town for Mother's Day weekend, I think, so I organized a club session. It was me, Ben Cooke, Matt Isanuk, David Ciscello, Jon Schneider and Drew Martin. The day was grueling with humidity and the stank from NYC sewer water and construction, meaning it was perfect shred weather.

I wish shred was better for me, but I was playing like an idiot to be completely honest.

Long story short, I spent my Friday night modding my blue mesh Lavers (I have no life) and I was excited to break them in this session. It turns out I played HORRIBLY in them, but it was towards the end of the day that I figured it was because I left the stock insole in and not having it replaced with a Spencos orthotics. The higher ankle support was restricting my crank and made my sets a little awkward. Fuck you flip paradox mirage!!

...

Well, when it came down to just me and Ben, and I guess maybe Jon and Drew, I slapped on the black Quantums and went to work. The issues I've had with Lavers felt nonexistent, but I was dead tired. But when you're dead tired you start learning, and learning is good.

The only highlights I've had were from the Lavers I was playing in, and it was getting my paradons with really deep dexes. That felt sweet. But other than I felt like I was fighting with my shoes and the bag all day Saturday.

I wish Quantums and Lavers can just fuse or have sex with each other so that their offspring would be a monstrous, grotesque, shred-easy offspring that everyone can enjoy kicking in. But I feel that dream will be left unfulfilled in the near future. I'm going to give my Lavers a second chance and break those suckers in (with better and higher insoles).

Shred with Ben Cooke at 3pm in Union Square. Let's hope my legs can keep up.

PS: This is an old picture of a 26-panel from one of the Raye brothers, that I found in the Bags stitched topic:



It looks really hot, and I plan on using it as reference material for when I do plan on making my own 26-panel.

[Wasabi]

Highlights:

-fairy same mirage & pixie same mirage into toe blur, sealed into handcatch.
-fairy opp legover > tripwalk (no seal)
-paradon > pdx. mirage > some tiltless string, didn't count contacts
-fairy same legovering-stallburger
-maverick/McCain
-footed fairy opp osis (is there a name for this?)
-footed flux

Played in my blue mesh lavers again, but with the stock insoles removed and replaced with my Spencos orthotics. I noticed that the plastic region of my orthotics pressed against the sole and mesh of my clipper pretty deeply, so I was a little worried that it would affect my delays. It sort of did, but most of all I felt that I was still in the transitional phase of switching from Quantums back into Lavers. And the fact that my blue mesh lavers are in a size women's doesn't help (the sole is much thinner than your typical men's Rod Laver shoe). So, in my two man circle with Ben Cooke today (ugh, NYFA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I felt that I was literally fighting the bag most of the time, especially with my osiis.

And in a way, I feel like my Lavers are a half-size too big on my feet, and what I wore for Quantums was in a super snug size. I would be lying if I didn't say that I felt a little spoiled playing in Quantums and getting a feel for the shoes' size, lightness, and flexibility of sole. When I was playing in my Lavers today, I felt that my clipper delays were hitting the ground a lot, especially with osiis, so it felt really weird. I had a hard time developing a good rhythm for today's session.

Ben Cooke has been ripping it big time. Blur > pixie opp whirl > spinning clip rpt. was one of the big combos he's hit today. I love his style alot, and he has so much energy that this lazy club needs to get back on their feet (mind the pun). But today, and maybe even yesterday, I feel that we've both felt a sort of lazying atmosphere in the shred scene in NYC, and even in ourselves, that our sense of urgency has diminished in some way.

NYFA needs to drill some more motivation in its members in terms of footbag, and we need to play more and work ourselves harder in getting better at this sport. We can't be one-trick ponies all our lives; it's time to exercise peeps! And with that thought, I HAVE to sign up more members into the club. It's the sort of energy and enthusiasm that we need, and something that I've felt myself once I joined NYFA sometime in late 2004-2005.

Let's do it. I know we can.

PS: I have no skills in picking up women! I tried to sly and talk to someone in the subway about some "research study" on the gentrification of working middle class families, and specifically targeted minorities (I was talking to some punk Asian chick) on their thoughts of the American economy and analyzing their behavior from my questions. As it came close to ending our conversation, the one thing that came crossing over my head was "EPIC FAIL" and just used the excuse that this is the first time that I had to "interact with strangers for such an absurd confrontational study."

If there was a more appropriate time to say mmmm-BONKERS, this would be it.

[Wasabi]

Great weather on Wednesday. Great NYFA turnout. Bruce Dole came out to a weekday session (finally!), Barrett came out to A footbag session (finally!), and many awesome faces like David Beyers, Matt Isanuk, Stan Sagalovskiy and Ben Cooke came to rep the Square. I came in late because I had to finish up on David's bag...

Max from Munich showed up unexpectedly!!! What a BIG surprise that was! He bought some white Lavers with the red trim, but they were unmodded so he couldn't really play in them. Ben Cooke offered him his pair of white Quantum 03s, and he shredded like a boss with some sweet toe drills and DLO bsos. Apparently, it looked like he was traveling around NYC on vacation with his girlfriend, and he just happened to bump into our circle (Ben, Dave, Barrett, myself). The whole "Are you footbaggers? Do you surf modified?" questioning went down, and we had a great time socializing. What a euphoric feeling to have a footbagger from another region come in to play with you out of nowhere.

As for myself, I didn't hit any huge highlights. Maybe frontside toeblur unexpectedly, but that's it. I got my stepping set back, but sort of lost it towards the end of the session. I felt like I was hitting the same things over and over again, so I can't really mention anything new for Wednesday.

Today, I got my tungsten from Freedom. It looks like Hevi-shot from Ballistic Products. Cleaver told me about this at the first NYFA jam, I think. I also got my Alejandro bags at the beginning of this week. Pretty sick stuff.

Gotta type out my resume and search Craigslist for some job opennings. I don't know what I'm looking for, but I certainly don't want to be a security guard for any building or office.

PS: Still wish I had a girlfriend.

[sNale]

Max from Munich showed up unexpectedly!!! What a BIG surprise that was! He bought some white Lavers with the red trim, but they were unmodded so he couldn't really play in them. Ben Cooke offered him his pair of white Quantum 03s, and he shredded like a boss with some sweet toe drills and DLO bsos. Apparently, it looked like he was traveling around NYC on vacation with his girlfriend, and he just happened to bump into our circle (Ben, Dave, Barrett, myself). The whole "Are you footbaggers? Do you surf modified?" questioning went down, and we had a great time socializing. What a euphoric feeling to have a footbagger from another region come in to play with you out of nowhere.

Hi Waylon,

it was really great playing with you guys! I wish I have had more time.
I modified my 3 year old (but still brand new) G-Units today with the help of your tutorial After modifing I had a first session in them, I played with my sister at our local public pool.

Max

[mc]

wanna talk to more women?

stitch in public, like at cafes and stuff.

and also, don't start the conversation with the premise that you are tricking and misleading the girl into talking to you. no one is going to want to talk to someone who feels that they have to trick others into interacting with them, and even if it does work, you're going to just keep digging yourself even deeper into a hole until you have to explain yourself, and you're just going to sound like a weirdo (because you're being a weirdo).

It works better when you can make them come to you, and stitching is interesting to people. Make sure you have a completed bag on you so you can show it off when they ask what you're doing, and introduce yourself and be nice after explaining what you're doing.

Just remember... if you're not the guy for her, she's not the girl for you. Go for the ones who really have some interest in what you're doing, not the ones you have to trick into talking to you.

If you don't click, don't take that as a reflection upon yourself... or rather, don't take it as a negative reflection. If you're anything like me, you probably don't click with that many people so don't worry about it.

[Wasabi]

Intense two-day sessions this midweek, Wednesday and Thursday. I don't think I played very well on Wednesday, because I felt really tired, slumpy and dizzy from heat stroke. Thursday was much better, and I hit some good highlights.

On Wednesday I busted the Lavers out. I didn't eat anything nutritious on that day, and with the blazing sun out I nearly fainted during a string! My pulse was running, my eyes blacked out, and my legs felt weak. When the sun went down, I played a little better, but I didn't hit anything significant. I got my stepping set back, and I managed to hit blur, sidewalk and ripwalk well, but I felt that I had to fight the bag a little bit. Definitely not one of my best sessions. NYFA had a 5 man circle of Bruce, Matt Isanuk, Ben, Barrett and myself. Barrett had to leave early due to disinterest and earlier plans, I guess.

Thursday felt better. Today, I played in my black Quantums. I had to re-adjust myself to the big toe and nonexistent toe walls. Had my stiff, prescription orthotics instead of my Spencos orthotics in them. Warmed up to clipper drills and had my usual 10-14 contact strings whilst incorporating some toe tricks. It was a 3 man circle this time with Ben, David Beyers, and myself.

Highlights:

-sidewalk into string
-plenty of midstring magellans, fairy [same & opp] legovers, smears, fears... you name it.
-smear & fear > eggbeater.
-more consistency in my midstring toe blur.
-One long pixie-intensive string that incorporated smears, parkwalk, dimwalk and slapdown (quantum same butterfly). I think the string was parkwalk > pdx. mirage > smear > dimwalk > pdx. mirage > slapdown and then I bailed to legover.
-pixie same reverse whirl, on command first try for the day, and off of a "Mulroney." Very proud of this one.
-flip stepping feels better. With more practice I can get this solid.
-frantic set? Looked really thin, and I felt like I was cheating with the big toebox/small toewalls on my Quantums.

Eoghan McDowell made a comment on facebook that stated that Lavers felt really heavy on him when he tried them on for one session. The comment was made maybe a little less than a month ago. I was playing in Lavers then, and didn't think much of it to be honest. But man, today, I felt like my feet were seriously light. It was much hotter today than it was yesterday - and the heat did hit us hard - but the session was really intense and the three of us hit a lot of good stuff.

Ben Cooke: pdx. drifters bsos, royale , tomahawk rpt. x3
David Beyers: phoenix, assassin , pendelous blur, tons of midstring flyers > ducking mirage.

I think I'm going to keep kicking in Lavers for a good long time. I guess they would be a good training utility to build my endurance and calve muscles. And they can help clean up my fairy and pixie form. But as for my Quantums... I don't know. Maybe if I can go to wherever Zach Forth is at, he can probably help me modify them so that I can get a more-defined toe wall on these kicks. Or I can do it myself if I have the time and resources to make the mod.

This summer is going to be off the hook

PS: I'm on good relations with this chill asian freshman/sophmore at my college, when I made a short visit on Wednesday to see some old buds (and buying my favorite hard liquor at the nearby liquor store: Amaretto di Saronno, not the sour kind). She used to be my smoking buddy as well, but considering that I quit smoking and switched to beer and hard liquor these days, we seemed to connect when I made a surprise visit. And I've always felt that, whenever she was sober, she had the biggest crush for me. We talked about life inside and outside of Hunter, and the state of NYC as how we see it through our eyes. She's also really interested in hacky sack, and totally loved the looks on my blue Lavers that day. I think I might convince her to play footbag and like it. And I'm still debating whether to bring her to Montreal or not (it really depends on the ride situation and her schedule).

PPS:Gotta send packages to Pengpeng and Zac Miley sometime tomorrow or this weekend. Shred and stitching compromised my plans during the middle of this week.

[Zac Miley]

PPS:Gotta send packages to Pengpeng and Zac Miley sometime tomorrow or this weekend. Shred and stitching compromised my plans during the middle of this week.

No worries on me, I haven't Paypalled you yet. I will on Saturday probably.

[Wasabi]

Short but [bitter]sweet post.

Ken rolled into town on Friday, met up with him on Saturday at 1pm. Gave him his second hybrid bag. He looked pleased.

Great turnout on Saturday. Played semi-solid, and pushed myself well. Got a major shin splint on my strong leg. Didn't hit the combos that I wanted. Hit some good highlights, but nothing special or noteworthy to type in this post. Unhappily ate 3 consecutive meals after shred. Napped for one hour.

Went out drinking with the NYFA crew after nap; 12:30am. Partied until 3am. Met up with an old friend at Worlds '07 (Allannah; sp?). Slept on the train and missed my stop; came back home at around 4:30am Sunday. Puked over my stovetop. Spent an hour or so cleaning the bulk, and most of Sunday morning/afternoon doing extensive cleaning (had to take apart the front of my stove). Washed up, drank coffee, called some people. Pre-scheduled date with this cute girl got canceled due to important personal matters (at her end). Loathed, then went to shred with Ben and David. Played like shit for an hour or more.

Monday. Showed to Union Square only to find no one but faux hackers to be there. Did not get the memo/e-mail that shred will be happening at Washington Sq. Park. Felt like an idiot for not checking e-mail in the morning and quickly sprinted to the park. Played like shit again. Shin splint and diaphram pains.

Waylon became a punk ass bitch and poor company in the eyes of his club mates, friends, and spectators of footbag. Loathe and drop in self-esteem.

[Ian Brill]

Cheer up man. At least your stove is clean, and the girl didn't see you at your worst. NYFA can take it you at your worst. Ask Bruce about Louie the Loser.

Seriously though, I hope you are well. I am impressed by your highlights, and I wonder how your game is. I am nursing a hurt arch, sore outer ankle and some cartilage-tendon deal on my knee from trying nuclear with tight muscles from traveling. All injuries on one leg. It happens though. I hope you heal soon.

I highly recommend schooling swirls and consecutive muted clippers when you are injured. It taught me a bunch when I was stuck in doors mid-Winter, and depending on the nature of your injuries it might not be a problem (being low impact and all) and might open up some ideas (consecutive ss muted clippers really make you work your clipper, your set, and will give you more confidence/comfort when trying potentially dangerous moves like whirl that do not always forgive bad form.

Keep your attitude positive and your chin up.

[Wasabi]

The weather this midweek has been cold to crappy lately, so I haven't had the motivation to play. Wednesday had a lot of good sun late in the day, when NYFA was about to hold a session, but because I was in such a terrible mood due to my depression I opted out. The worst thing in a footbag session is when you're in a bad mood, and I feel like I've had enough of that behavior on Sunday and Monday. And I don't want my club mates to see this side of me again. Playing crappy with this mindset is a given as well.

What I have been doing is ruminating what I have been doing, what I should be doing, and what I should do to keep my spirits up. I have been really behind on my orders for stitching footbags, so I got my hands on the needle for most of yesterday. Finished most of Brian Bear's bag, so I will be completing that sometime today. Will start up on bags for Nathan Cope. Honza commissioned me four large bags to be used for demos, and that put me in an uncomfortable position because Montreal Open is less than 3 weeks away, and I have to start pumping out bags. Nonetheless, I don't really have much to do because I'm unemployed and have no real solid plans, so sewing should be a main priority for me right now.

The past few days I've been thinking about what colors would make for great demo bags, large ones especially, for Honza and Vasek. The filler should be no problem for me, but colors to captivate the audience should be my aim for his orders. I will start cutting them out very soon (one pattern I came up with is a bright rainbow Fearless 55 pattern). They should be strong as well, considering these bags will be used for demos: flying kicks will be used and both Honza and Vasek are very experienced players that can keep the bags in play (meaning more wear on the material). I'll just look at Hania's bags to find some inspiration. She has yet to reply my pm to her, but maybe it was too absurd for her to reply that she thought it was unnecessary. Whatever.

I should e-mail Honza soon about what fill weight is most comfortable to them.

Last night I've been downloading music, and I think I found a good intermediate routine song for the NYFA jam. Or maybe Funtastiks. I haven't prepared anything whatsoever for Montreal, so I doubt I will do a routine for that tournament. I feel pretty excited, because this song has a good beat and is just my rhythm; it's "free" by Yamada Yuu (if you have been watching this Spring's run of animes lately, it is the ending song to Bsaquash!). I really like this song, and it leaves me open to do some good shuffle that I am capable of doing, as well as some intentional bails that I assume the audience would love to see. I've been shadow-shredding to this beat to assess what I should do for this song ever since I heard it a couple of months ago from the anime show.

Anyway, I think I'm over my depression spell. I still feel a bit lonely, relationship-wise, but I have my club and friends to support me. Sometimes these periods are necessary to keep life going. Maybe I'll check up on Ken's suggestion of reading this graphic novel called "American-born Chinese" to introspect my place in this universe, and see where I should lead my future.

I think I'll only do clipper drills and clipper moves this weekend with NYFA.

[Zac Miley]

I got the shoes. They're perfect.

Thanks Waylon!

[Wasabi]

Played in Lavers for most of the day on Saturday. I was going strong for the first 15 minutes to half-an-hour, but then my arches, heel (wth?), and outer calves started aching. What a painful session. I don't know if it was a problem with the Laver sole, the Spenco orthotics insole, or having played in Quantums in the past two sessions I've had, but I felt like my lower body would haphazardly collapse. I guess I was starting to get comfortable with kicking in my prescribed orthotic insoles that are in my Quantums, so it could be something to do with muscle memory. But I honestly don't know. A lot of things can account for the pain and poor performance.

The positive thing I've felt all throughout the session, though, is that I think I played better in my Lavers than in my Quantums. My toe uptime game felt less "the" than in Lavers, whereas I feel like my overall game is better controlled and flowy in Lavers. In Quantums, I feel like I can move faster (and I like going fast).

The funny thing about me and my Lavers is that the blue mesh version I have is a women's model. The shoe is much narrower than the men's version, so the clipper is deeper and the toe is smaller. I feel like my toe box has a huge "wall" definition to them, and I can't say if I like it or hate it. But, my clipper game does feel a little distorted, because my orthotics push out against the inside surface and I feel like I can't feel the bag as much as usual.

Ugh, I don't know if I want to talk about this in my blog, but I'm thinking about modding the pair of black toe/grey meshy design leather Laver that I have, or a pair of worn-in red/black/white G-units that I have lying around. I FEEL like modding, but it's just unnecessary for me because I already have two shoes that I frequently use for sessions.

I gotta get to stitching. My mind and hands are restless, but I haven't really stitched since my last blog post. Just did a lot of house-cleaning, errands and watched some anime shows that I keep pushing back due to my busy schedule.

I might get a date on Tuesday or sometime in the midweek. I have roses that are in season, so hopefully this can bring a smile to her and anyone in NYC that wants one/some.

[Wasabi]

Today, a girl I know was coming back from Philly to see her folks. Her hometown has always been in Philadelphia, but I suppose a more accurate description would be that her home was actually at Tompkins Square. Tompkins Square is a place full of degenerates, addicts and wanderers much like Union Square. It is a place to hang out, socialize, strut and punk out while under the influence. That is if you want to be under a drug influence; the culture in of itself is a unique culmination of a people with similar sentiments and backgrounds of the society they live in. Sentiments full of negativity to that society, where the plaza/square is the one harem they can find peace in.

On facebook, I read a note about this girl recently. Her ex, a 29 year-old homeless heroin addict, died in what seemed to be a drunken accident. He fell off a bridge one night two weeks ago. I felt uneasy reading this, and imagined what she was going through, but that thought lasted but a mere second when my own personal reality with death barged in. I know what she was going through and didn't need to think about it. Although we are relatable in the constancy of death toward those that are close to us, her connection to this death was a more intimate one. She knew him as a lover and like-minded soul, whereas my connectivity with death has been many but never an intimate one. My grandmother, friends, friends of friends, relatives and siblings of friends, have each left my sphere in their own way but never came in close proximity to my own needy significance. I soon felt envious of the closeness in her loss, but thought it absurd to think in that sense.

In the past... 3 weeks, the rose bush that grew in the small, trashy backyard of my home has recently bloomed with crimson delights. In those three weeks they have bloomed ever so slowly, until this day, where I decided that to cheer this girl up I would offer her a gift of roses. What I had extracted were stems of nearly wilted foliage or those that kept struggling to grow; they look much weaker than what I have seen outside the window in my room. There were maybe two that seemed full of vitality. Although I was somewhat disapponted by the condition of these roses, their petals still expressed a vibrancy of a rich red and fuschia. I felt my sentiments could still reach her.

Less than half a teaspoon of bleach. One part Sprite cola. Three parts tap water. A deep caramel glass bottle of Raspberry Heffeweizen which tastes horrible when slightly chilled lukewarm, but amazing when cold. Rubber band.

We agreed to meet at Union Square. I drank a tall iced black coffee at the local Starbucks, started reading this book called Polite Lies by Kyoko Mori, and hacked with this really ripped middle-aged [agile] man named Heili (sp?; pronounced Hi-lee). We kicked with the trademarked Hacky Sack 14-panel white/black bag. His consecutive kicks and flow were much like a combination of a net player and martial artist. An incarnation of Zeke of CIC. It was in this circle that made me miss Chicago, but we kicked in the rain with nothing but enjoyment in our minds. It was here that the disciplines of net and four-square made me smile, again.

I met up with the girl. We chatted. She sounded a little spaced out, but a ride back from Philly under these rainy conditions, from a small excursion to see her folks, would be exhausting without reason. She cheered up to see my gift, and in return, she gave me a cookie. It was delicious. Then her boyfriend came after maybe 5 minutes or so. My hopes dropped, but I kept a good attitude. My intentions for today was not to whoo her, but to cheer her up. She oggled and caressed him, and asked me if I wanted to buy pot (from him). I graciously refused.

Within 10 minutes after this encountered, my body left slowly. My mind had drifted away earlier in dissapointment - understandable at most, but still clinging in some ways to my body, at Union Square over her. In our conversations, we talked in breadths, catching up with the thoughts that related to the conversation, but in my complex belief I felt the silence that was shared in the experience of death. It was not mentioned, and it need not be said. Like the Japanese language filled with politeness and unmentioned intentions, our language was vagued for those few brief moments of conversation without her boyfriend's presence. The flowers have cheered her up, but in my own selfish way I wish I could receive her full sentiment (and in return my own). Polite and intentional, but aggravating and filled with frustration.

Plain speaking never felt more difficult.

The boyfriend. He is the cement wall that I could not jump, the skateboard that I could not olie, the crochet bag that I could not kick consecutively so that I may reach my own personal achievement. My own freedom. With her. But my intention was not to woo her, but to cheer her up. I suppose. I wish and hope the smile she expressed to me was not another mask of formality. These formalities that are so ungenuine and mechanical to the untrained eye. A facade that I wish would break for the better. If not within her, in me, because I desire so much to fully smile and bloom genuinely.

My feelings of intimacy are caged and alone within a voided space. It is unattainable and limitless. I wish to hold and caress it much like she was with his skinny calf. However, like the roses I had given her, their petals will eventually wilt and leave the body gradually until it is time to throw them away. Story of my life at present.

/emo vent.

PS: This post is pretty fragmented. Hopefuly no one will have any difficulty in dissecting my words. For the record, her boyfriend looks like an unhealthy, sketchy, doped-up scumbag, but I suppose the girl-in-question finds beauty in that grungy look. I do have feelings for her, but I'm not completely obsessed with her. I feel that, in the process of making this post, that there are things that cannot be controlled under your will. I can't force her to like me. She can choose whoever she falls in love with, even if he is a dirtbag.

As long as she is happy with the roses, that is enough. I'll move and continue walking forward along my own pace. I just wish there would be an event that would force me to intersect and cross my life with another more privately.

I guess this is a case of "let bygons be bygons." There are plenty of fish in the sea, but a part of me in this instance wants big-eyed tuna or Ahi, instead of trout and salmon. Oh well.

edit: Replaced "jealous" with "envious."

[bdams19]

no offense meant by this post... but if thats who she goes after i'm sure you can do better than that