Hall of Fame/Shame!

HG · Post by HG » 10 Jul 2005 17:40

Dave Clavicle wrote:Alright Chaps,

You thought the dubars were phat, you knew the lance mountains were rockin it, and you just love looking for clima cools on ebay. Well screw those kicks! After weeks of searching and modding I found quite possibly the future of freestyle footbag. The Montgomery Ward 1931 Women's Gym Shoe.

side and instep

Yea baby. Stop drooling and keep reading. Now at first you may be like "shit bro those are phat!", but as always, cutting shit off your shoe not only looks flashy, but improves playability!

I started off with a nice healthy brocka mod:

Thank god for that! Now my ankles can frikken breathe. Damn! So anyway, now your probably like "alright clavens, we got the phat ankle mod, but now what about the toes?

Well do you think your buddy uncle dave was going to leave you hanging? no, he wasnt. As you can see the Montgomery Ward has an open toe box design. Of course we all remember the open toe box from the laver, but hell, there was so much wrong with that shoe. (wasnt there?) Anyway, i opened the front up and did some nifty lacing.

Now your probably thinkin phat lacing, open toe, nice brocka, but it doesnt really look very flat up front does it. And what about walls? Well, we all know thats cheating, so screw that. I found a nice pair of nikes, cut the front off, and threw it on the front of the Montgomery. Cuz seriously, who the hell can hit beta gamma ray with walls and a round toe. No one, thats who. Heres a diagram of my toe removal and attachment.

Toe box: check Ankle: check. Now for all those kids busting clipper tricks, we need a phat inside. Yea baby, and phat inside only makes me think of one thing. Silicon!

Well, after a bit of wood and nails, you get the idea. So nows the fun part, hooking up your shoes with style. I mean, whats the point of hitting 10 adds if your shoes dont look cool? There is none.

Now while i couldve gone the tom mosher way and flashed my kicks out with pirate insignia, I tagged these bitches up with a phat dollar sign, cuz i play footbag for girls and money. Of course i got them hooked up with a brand new 120, cuz I like stalls I have to work for.

Alright, now quit sitting there and hop on ebay or hit up an antique store and get your hands on a pair of these. Now i know you might say "But dave, theres no one backing your product! You need big names like Carl Winslow and Steve Blough, names i know and trust!" Well do you see Waldo Faldo hitting nemisis? No, you don't. With a little bit of work and vision, you can have the phattest kicks around. Climacool Smimacool. Those are so last week.

Thank me and the Monts when your BAP,

David Clavens

mods - I mean, I'd ask for a sticky, but seriously, with the responces and testimonials this thread will get, we dont even need it to be.
_________________

Dave i love you.

You have officially turned me back to lavers

HG · Post by HG » 12 Jul 2005 05:36

This is from Maxime Boucoiran (sp?) talking about Damons "crew" in footbagchat

His *gang*

they shred with baseball bats and stuff

ah max is one funny guy!

B_Man · Post by **B_Man** » 12 Jul 2005 19:57

C-Fan wrote:Hehe, `cleaver.`

Hm, I was just thinking that `maven glaven` would be a cool nickname for you. But you`d have to say it like Professor Frink. Dave `maven glaven` Clavens!

OK maybe not.

** 3 days later in the same post **

Hey wait a minute, this isn`t my blog. Enough of my blathering. Back to Riboflavin Clavens.

Just teasin Ken!

professor · Post by **professor** » 13 Jul 2005 12:06

QuantumBalance wrote:But, he didn't of course, because he was made with triple strength floss, underside of cheetas toungue, mothers meatloaf, and bad influencial spit.

That's one of the funniest sentences ever. Even if you have no idea what it means.

Sporatical_Distractions · Post by **Sporatical_Distractions** » 13 Jul 2005 17:21

all of flamin damon's posts made in the past are now replaced with this:

brian relly · Post by **brian relly** » 14 Jul 2005 18:29

neary322 wrote:ok wtf is a shred plate??? can someone post a pic ov a shred plate please!!! thank u now do ittt!!!!

Nathan wrote:This is a very basic one.

neary322 wrote:wat do they do??

Hahaha.

Maybe it gets even better, I don't know.

HG · Post by HG » 18 Jul 2005 16:18

C-Fan wrote: <- me taking an un-Canadian poo in your blog.

How did this go unnoticed?

Ken pooping in Camilles footblog

slapdash21 · Post by **slapdash21** » 21 Jul 2005 13:23

Jamo wrote:I got a good tip, only post once

so short, yet so flammatory! i think the shortness only adds to the effect. i laughed a good bit, even though the joke has been used many times...and people say americans are rude!

Nathan · Post by **Nathan** » 27 Jul 2005 07:05

Jamo wrote:Some people say bunny ears is a good way to learn. Others say the "loop, swoop, and pull" method is pretty good for beginners.
Its just practice mate, say goodbye to those velcro trainers and keep tieing your laces and itll be like riding a bike one day.

In the How to lace my shoes thread.

HG · Post by HG » 27 Jul 2005 09:06

Dave Clavens in an MSN conversation

mmm your cute
omg i have so much ear wax

professor · Post by **professor** » 29 Jul 2005 10:46

Bane4 wrote:I need a Samuel L. Jackson like speech to inspire me to get me back into footbag I have had a falling out from the sport and need some sort of a booster to get me working again. Its not that I've lost interest I just need a kick in the hind parts.

HenryG wrote:If you dont i will eat your family.

Hands down THE funniest thing I've read on this forum, maybe ever.

HG · Post by HG » 29 Jul 2005 11:09

^ my family eating face

slapdash21 · Post by **slapdash21** » 31 Jul 2005 09:31

jeremy wrote:I just wanted to comment because I like the word "dexpert"

i only thought this was funny because the made up word reminded me of a combination of sex and pervert.

NotHisRealName · Post by **NotHisRealName** » 31 Jul 2005 23:08

james_dean wrote:yeah i had that at a party once.. chatting to this girl.. thought occured... how old are you? 15? dang, that's pretty sucky... "it's ok i don't care" yeah i'm sure u don't...

Taken from the Hobart Blog.

sniikeri · Post by **sniikeri** » 31 Jul 2005 23:56

Stephen Barnes wrote:
neary322 wrote:ok wtf is a shred plate??? can someone post a pic ov a shred plate please!!! thank u now do ittt!!!!

Nathan wrote:This is a very basic one.

neary322 wrote:wat do they do??
Hahaha.

Maybe it gets even better, I don't know.

I thought it was a footbag theme condom.

DO NOT ASK ME WHY!

QuantumBalance · Post by **QuantumBalance** » 01 Aug 2005 10:01

Mohkale wrote:

Worst thing at Worlds for me was that I didn't get to T-bag anybody.

Hall of fame or hall of shame? You decide.

Jamo · Post by **Jamo** » 01 Aug 2005 10:38

Laughing my tits off at that.
And im in here twice, woot.

Ooh wait...3 times...fuck me!

Blackend · Post by **Blackend** » 01 Aug 2005 15:17

sniikeri wrote:
Stephen Barnes wrote:
neary322 wrote:ok wtf is a shred plate??? can someone post a pic ov a shred plate please!!! thank u now do ittt!!!!

Nathan wrote:This is a very basic one.

neary322 wrote:wat do they do??
Hahaha.

Maybe it gets even better, I don't know.
I thought it was a footbag theme condom.
DO NOT ASK ME WHY!

Now that you mention it, it DOES look like a footbag theme condom.

HG · Post by HG » 02 Aug 2005 09:37

That Kevin Regamey sure is dreamy. That big, brawny frame o' his, Scrumptious.

Jamo · Post by **Jamo** » 02 Aug 2005 12:52

I nearly fell off my chair reading this.

Underooninja:

last night i watched a bug walk casually around a lamp 3 times clockwise...10 times counter-clockwise...then another 4 times clockwise.

To which the reply was

Newf:

Last night some weirdo stared at me while I walked three laps around a lamp, turned around for another ten, and then cooled down with four more in the initial direction.