Why is Sex so Addictive?

[Switch Kicker]

Bluntly... because it's fucking awesome...

But then again... it's called survival. Feeling the natural urge to continue to populate and keep your species alive. If guys weren't so fucking rediculously attracted the female body... we wouldn't feel enough urge to have sex, and we would be able to populate enough to continue to survive. I for one, am very glad that women are so fucking attractive, it's enjoyable... I feel sorry for girls... not having as much fun checking out guys as we do girls.

Uhhh... in a nutshell. Sex is addictive because nature makes it so, to continue the survival of our species.

But to us... it's just fucking awesome and fun and all those good things. Sex is just overall a good thing, can't go wrong with it. (Unless you're against having childern at themoment, or are having sex with a disease infected person...) Maybe I should refrase that, the IDEA of having sex is an over all good thing.

This is a completely uninformative post... I know... THis is just me rambling off trying to justify my OWN addiction to sex...

w/e... it's fun, that's why, ha ha. I win.

[james_dean]

You think girls don't check out guys? Really?

Yeah and they don't masturbate either.

The only difference is the guys don't bother denying it.

And if you're talking about porn... well... when I got out of that cycle I only felt better so I'm not totally convinced it's a great idea.

[james_dean]

sorry for double post, that sounded much more accusing than I intended. I wasn't trying to flame you or anything.

[BalinorNZ]

I think I have an addictive personallity, I mean the fact i'm still playing footbag despite being desperately lazy makes that obvious.

I am a firm believer in christianity and saving sex for marrage but that doesn't mean I find it just as hard as everyone else to abstain from sexual thoughts and acts, it just means I try not to infect another human being with those thoughts and acts in a sinful (outside of marrage) way.

Christians believe in having a day-to-day relationship with God. God loves sex, he made it for us to enjoy with our marrage partner. The reason why sex and excessively thinking about sex outside of marrage keeps you from fully having a relationship is because you feel guilty about the it and so you can't be open with God... it's like you're doing something wrong and you know your best friend doesn't like it, so you try to hide it from him, which means you can't have a totally honest relationship with that friend.

Hmm that went on a bit longer than expected, that is the christian point of view at least.

As far as why is sex addictive, that has pretty much already been summed up I think

[Bander87]

"This hormone and neurotransmitter produced in the brain acts as a sexual arousal hormone that signals orgasm and prompts cuddling between lovers before, during, and after intercourse. One theory is that the more sex a couple has with each other, the more oxytocin is released and the deeper their bond becomes. As soon as you have sex with someone you are playing with fire: even if you didn't really fancy them at first you may find that you are creating an unbreakable bond."

http://www.firstscience.com/SITE/ARTICLES/sex.asp

In regards to Nic's post, the the bible says that "two will become one flesh" during sex. This reasoning can be found in the above excerpt and why sex was intended for marriage.

In addition to the spiritual reasons, I personally try to refrain from sexual activity because the addiction after pains me for too long. And if I do intend to find my perfect woman, I believe there must be no "forced" bonds.

I personally believe pre maritial sex is a big factor in divorce among yound people today. They have sex, a bond is created that wasn't supposed to exist, they get married too soon and things don't work out.

Just some thoughts.

[tuomoruutufan]

I do believe im a conflicted with SA

I was single for a year and had over 20 partners.

I have an addictive personality

I have had some other issues, but it just seems like when something in my life durastically changes i become addicted to something.

Right now im getting over the SA via a girlfriend, granted we have sex 2-4 times a week, but at least its with one person and she does challenge me to resist the urge.

So im feeling better about it, If i ever develop the urge to the point where i want to be unfaithful (being faithful in a relationship is HUGE to me, i have never cheated and dont plan too)

but if the urge to sexually act out causes me to flirt with the idea of being unfaithful i plan to take a more serious professional approach to dealing with these issues.

[PegLegHolly]

And if I do intend to find my perfect woman, I believe there must be no "forced" bonds.

I personally believe pre maritial sex is a big factor in divorce among yound people today. They have sex, a bond is created that wasn't supposed to exist, they get married too soon and things don't work out.

Just some thoughts.

I don't believe that pre-marital sex is a factor of divorce... I do believe that pre-marital pregnancy is a huge factor of divorce. Getting married too soon happens for other reasons than sex. Most "young people" don't go around and have sex with someone and get married to that person just because they had sex with them. I believe most marriages among "young people" are created from lack of experience (not only in dating, but in the real world), and lack of knowing what they want. Maybe it isn't pre-marital sex that causes marriage, but just going too fast too soon in general. Marriages end in divorce because of conflicts, disagreeing personalities, and lies. I think "young people" now-a-days just have the habit of thinking they want something and having to have it right now. But still, many "young people" that get married actually make it through without divorce.

I have pre-marital sex but that doesn't mean I'm going to get married young and have a divorce early. It means that I love who I'm with, and that I can wait till I'm out of college and have my feet on the ground until I even think about marriage.

But this topic isn't about marriage and divorce...
...why is sex addictive?...

because it's hot, feels good, boosts adrenaline and endorphines, it's a work out, can pretty much happen anywhere, it's spontaneous, and did I mention fun?!!!!

This thread is old... and I feel silly for posting... but why let this thread die?!
-most girls do masturbate
-girls do check out guys
-honest girls don't deny either of those

Shawn-
SA is a real problem. If you seriously think that you fall into that category, then I would look up Sex Addicts Annonymous. I personally don't think you would fall into that category because most of the people that are recovering sex addicts have been rapists, molesters, stalkers, prostitutes, and perverts. Sure, 20 people in one year isn't something to be proud about, but there are people with 20 people in a month, or even 20 people in a week. I personally know a couple adults that are recovering sex addicts, and they did horrible horrible horrible things. Maybe you were just carried away with physical relationships at the time. Congradulations on getting a girl that genuinely cares about you! (is it that photography girl you were talking about at midwesterns?)




I've read over this a couple times... and edited myself. I hope I didn't embarrass you, Shawn. When I initially decided to reply to this thread, I wanted it to be spicy and fun... but it ended up a little serious at parts. Please don't butcher me, ya'll...

[tuomoruutufan]

no you did not embarass me holly, im not ashamed of who iam or what i did while being single.

Im just admitting that it got to a point that i felt powerless.

the thing that your missing holy is all those horrible SA's who act out in very ilegal ways are the ones you hear about. the ones who put a face to the name "sex addiction"

that does not mean theres alot of us out there who may not be criminals (rape/molest/harrasment styel) but are still conflicted with an emotional dependancy of constant sexual release.

Even when i get alot of sex, im still masturbating all the time and thinking about it all the time its just never enough! It gets to the point where everything in between orgams is just a blur.

yeah i mean my sexual activities were all very consensuous, i never lied or tricked women into sleeping with me, i didnt impregnate anyone or spread diseases or break any hearts

But its more so a judgement of my quality of life, when your pursuing so much sex. i specifically remember one weekend where i slept with a different girl friday saturday and sunday...... and as much as it seems like you would want to be a stereotypical guy and be proud of that. All i could think about was what did i miss out on with friends and family while chaising sex instead.

and I also started to pursue one night stands or friends with benefits more than i would pursue dating a women.

well i feel like im back on track, i cut off all the casual sex and started dating one girl. its been over 4 months and im doing great.

no its not that same girl, we went on one date and didnt click, she was cool as hell just no spark.

thanks for showing interest holly

and that night i was suposed to see that girl your reffering too i ended up ditching all the footbag peeps and her to sleep at this girls apartment down the street to get laid, and in result i forgot my shoes and couldnt play footbag the last day of the event....... . so yeah i may not look like a SA and i might not be a criminal but im definatley not normal and can act out in a very un healthy and regretful ways.

anyone who is really curious about this topic check out the book "choke" by chuck palahniuk (author of fight club) its a really funny/interesting read.

[Switch Kicker]

You think girls don't check out guys? Really?

Yeah and they don't masturbate either.

The only difference is the guys don't bother denying it.

And if you're talking about porn... well... when I got out of that cycle I only felt better so I'm not totally convinced it's a great idea.

No, I didn't say that James. I said girls don't check out guys as much as guys check out girls. And that's very true. Every girl that's even somewhat attractive is more than likely checked out by jsut about every guy in every room that she walks into, at one point or another.

I don't know. I notice guys checking otu a girl, which leads to me noticing that girl, and me checking her out too. But I don't notice girls checking out guys as much as the other way around.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.

And of course women masturbate. Damn near every single one of em' denies it though, which just doesn't make sense. I mean, it's not like we don't know, lol. Maybe they try to take on the image of being able to go months without it, when, really, alot of them can't stand it.

But in all seriousness, this topic has gone on way too long. Some girl is going to fly by and claim that this sexist, and offensive, or something... stupid, and/or ignorant like that.

[Moxie]

Maybe most girls aren't as embarrassingly obvious as most guys when checking people out.

[tuomoruutufan]

yeah the problem is girls make eye contact before checking a guy out.

So guys instead of looking at her ass and tits have a casual smile and make eye contact first before you scope her bod.

and then you will notice she may smile and her eyes will break and look down towards your feet then back up to your eyes. then you know she checked you out.

So stop stearing at a women ass tits and mouth, make eye contact and you will notice when and how a women checks you out.

cause if your acting like a creep she wont really care to take a good look at you, she will just avoid eye contact and ignore you.

Its all about eye contact, you want to treat women like they are centerfolds your never gonna get checked out in return.

[Switch Kicker]

Maybe most girls aren't as embarrassingly obvious as most guys when checking people out.

Embarrassingly? That's completely perspective. If girl spots me checking her out, I don't become embarrassed, I just smirk and raise my left eye brow. And the usual response I get is the girl somewhat turning red and laughing lightly. (Usually.) Sometimes I get the stuck up snob that makes that, "Kah" sound, and turns around.

There's a difference between checking out the average girl, and trying to get a real response from one.

When trying to get a response I keep my distance untill I decide whether or not I want to make a move on her, and if I do, I don't stare at her body. Especially not her breasts... I'm so not turned on by breasts, at all. I'm a 100% ass man.

I kinda noticed that girls tend to check you out more, when you're not even there. Because girls are so obssessed with photography, they get your picture (And you don't even know how they get teh pic of you.) and hten they talk about how all their friends think you're hot or something to that degree.

For example. I have not one pic of my girlfriend right now. Waiting on her senior pictures. But she's got an 8 page album of me goin' in her phone and on her computer. I havne't a clue where she gets the pictures, because she didnt' take any of them. But I hear it all the time when I'm not there. Get a text, "I was showing so-n-so your pic and she thinks you're hot." And usually, that so-n-so is someone I've never met, and I never know what to say... "Uh...does she know I'm taken?" lol.

Does anyone else have a gf that does that? Tells you about how all her hot friends think you're hot... Is she testing you, or just trying to tease you, or compliment you? I don't even know. But whenever it happens, there's just an awkward silence where I don't know what to say. "Uh... thanks?" (Then again, it depends on if I'm in a conceited mood, where my response would be something to the degree of, "Your friends are very smart. Of course I'm hot. I know I'm hot. I'm hotter than you even. lol" Of course jokingly.

lol. It's not embarrassing to check someone out, lol. It's fun and funny if anything.

[PegLegHolly]

I'm a 100% ass man.

Because girls are so obssessed with photography, they get your picture (And you don't even know how they get teh pic of you.) and hten they talk about how all their friends think you're hot or something to that degree.

"I was showing so-n-so your pic and she thinks you're hot." And usually, that so-n-so is someone I've never met, and I never know what to say... "Uh...does she know I'm taken?" lol.

Does anyone else have a gf that does that? Tells you about how all her hot friends think you're hot... Is she testing you, or just trying to tease you, or compliment you? "Your friends are very smart. Of course I'm hot. I know I'm hot. I'm hotter than you even. lol" Of course jokingly.

lol. It's not embarrassing to check someone out, lol. It's fun and funny if anything.

i would think shes testing you to see if youre interested in how other girls think about you.

guys arent embarrassed when they check out girls... but im embarrassed for any guy i see checking out a girl. maybe cause most guys do it without even trying to be discrete about it.

asses kick ass

[Maraxus]

I'm a 100% ass man.

[james_dean]

You think girls don't check out guys? Really?

Yeah and they don't masturbate either.

The only difference is the guys don't bother denying it.

And if you're talking about porn... well... when I got out of that cycle I only felt better so I'm not totally convinced it's a great idea.

No, I didn't say that James. I said girls don't check out guys as much as guys check out girls. And that's very true. Every girl that's even somewhat attractive is more than likely checked out by jsut about every guy in every room that she walks into, at one point or another.

I don't know. I notice guys checking otu a girl, which leads to me noticing that girl, and me checking her out too. But I don't notice girls checking out guys as much as the other way around.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.

And of course women masturbate. Damn near every single one of em' denies it though, which just doesn't make sense. I mean, it's not like we don't know, lol. Maybe they try to take on the image of being able to go months without it, when, really, alot of them can't stand it.

But in all seriousness, this topic has gone on way too long. Some girl is going to fly by and claim that this sexist, and offensive, or something... stupid, and/or ignorant like that.

touche.

[slapdash21]

its not illegal to look.





and if it was i'd be serving several life sentences.


here's the real question, would you still check out a girl just as much if she was wearing baggy sweat pants (some of those tight sweat pants are actually hot, especially since im an ass man myself, though not 100%) and like a loose t shirt?


now if i left it like that the first response i would get would probably be something like:
1. that is so unfair because
a. its hard to buy quality clothes if you're a girl that dont make you look somewhere in the range of generally attractive all the way to whoreish slut
b. girls have the right the be attractive, especially because they're not only doing it for guys (from what i've heard), girls also obviously just enjoy thinking of themself as attractive/beautiful or whatever, even if they're just chilling in the house alone or whatnot.

but its all a range. dont dress (or act!!) like a complete slut and guys will treat you better in general.
even just in this post my opinion changed somewhat, and i cant really defend a position of saying that a lot of guys dont mistreat and degrade women, but there are far too many women that really are honestly asking for it, or wanting to be viewed in a certain way.

[Guest_1]

Is it really addiction or a healthy sexual appetite?

[tuomoruutufan]

The very same man who invented the 12 step program that helped him get his life back together couldnt even win the battle against SA

He cheated on his wife many times and the wife left him and took the kids.

It is a serious addiction.

The only stories you hear about are the molestor and rapsists.

when really there are loads of normal people who cant function without a consistent dose sexual release.

Everyone wants to have self control, everyone wants to think that we all have the power to live up to the simple morals society puts on us.

and well some of us are just not wired that way, addiction is a serious problem and its not an excuse to be a piece of shit and hurt the ones you love, but it is something you can stop being iggnorantly naive about and put forth extra attention and get extra help so that you can function and live a quality life.

Sex has been clinically diagnosed as an addiction, and if you wonder if you have it i would suggest doing some research and get some information.

People need to stop pretending to be staples of perfection. This "not me" attitude is so fucking naive and ignorant. Every addict once said the words "not me" so if you find yourself saying that i hope your the lucky one who is actually right for your sake.

Nobody plans to be a sex aholic, alcoholic, Drugg addict, or addicted to gambling.

and that is the power of addiction, the disease itself blinds you from its existence.

[slapdash21]

yeah, i definitely agree that it can become a very serious addiction, because duh, anything you do can become an addiction if you obsess too much, which is easy to do when its something you enjoy, which is why you do it a lot, etc.

[Switch Kicker]

I've never understood addiction. It's so stupid. I was a smoker a year an a half ago. Was smoking for just under a year. Started in Jan, quit in November. No patch,no anything. Straight cold turkey. No techniques, or plans, I jsut, quit. It wasn't evenhard. I had cravings for like, 3 days... and I felt fine.

I think maybe there's adifferencebetween addiction and having a dependecy on something.

I was addicted to cigarettes, cause it was somethingnice to have. But I go sick of paying for them, and it was making my breath somewhat stink. Also didn't want cancer. So I simply stopped.

However I didn't smoke to releive stress or anything like that.

I played a game, Diablo II for 2 years straight. Not religiously, but more than I probably should have. And I dont' know if any of you know, but D2 is one of the most addicting video games of all time. One day, I was cleaning up hard drive space on my computer,a dn I decided to delete it. And I had an account onthere I could've sold on ebay for a good $1000 if I had picked it apart andsold it in peices. Didn't even question my decision. Just clicked it on the add/remove program thing onthe control panel, and removed it. haven't played it since.

I feel likeI could start up on jsut about anything and just,quit. I think I'm just addicted to food, sleep, and breathing. That's about it though. And I"m not addicted to sex, I jsut enjoy it, alot, when I do get it.Which hasn't been in like 4 months now.

...
Ok... I do have one addictionI can think of.I'm addicted to relationships. I have to be in one whenever I'm able to be. (Meaning, if I havea bad break up, I'll wait til I'm emotionally stable... you know?) And when I'm in a relatinoship, I'm addicted to doing anything to make it better, or to make my girlfriend happy, or to just have fun withthe relationship.

Can excessive detailed writting and/or reading be an addiction? If they can... my god, maybe I do have a few addictions...

*Goes off to rethink life...*