some little kid puts the 'poo' in 'pool'

slapdash21 · Post by **slapdash21** » 17 Nov 2004 18:42

yeah, i work as a lifeguard, and today some little kid decided to shit himself in the pool. i had to clean it out and call my boss because its a freakin biohazard. i only wish there was an easy way to get the shit out of the pool, but regulations say i have to get it out by hand, and i cant vacuum it or anything. so you get latex gloves, and palm whatever you can get your hands on. i realize this topic doesnt even come close to requiring its own thread, but i just thought i would pass along how much my job SUCKS, even if it wastes space etc.

Seath · Post by **Seath** » 17 Nov 2004 18:50

fucking....gross.

Chris Hanratty · Post by **Chris Hanratty** » 17 Nov 2004 18:54

Reminds me of a girl at my school that graduated last year, and sometime in the recent months she shit herself while drunk at a party in the party hostess's bathroom. Shit everywhere... walls, towels, even the ceiling. They cleaned her and the bathroom up, only to wake up to the same thing again in the morning. Sick shit, literally

.

rye · Post by **rye** » 17 Nov 2004 20:40

aaahahhahahh

yeah I work at timmy's and someone shit all over the floor in the bathroom, not to mention all the puke that's been found in there (there's a bar in the same area and we're open 24 hours)

I don't care though since I'm the baker and the front person has to clean the public washrooms, hah

Seath · Post by **Seath** » 17 Nov 2004 20:59

STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT

qphox · Post by **qphox** » 17 Nov 2004 21:18

wtf, does some come out of his eyes ?!

Seath · Post by **Seath** » 17 Nov 2004 21:19

no, his invisible nose

pips · Post by **pips** » 18 Nov 2004 15:53

Ew. One time I was swimming in my old neighbor's pool with the other kids and I saw this blob at the bottom of the pool. It was a blob cuz my glasses weren't on. Curious and nice me decided to pick up whatever it was and throw it out of the pool. I realized what it was when I grabbed it and dropped it so fast and got out of the pool...I knew exactly who it was too. He disgusted me more than ever for the day.

rory · Post by **rory** » 19 Nov 2004 14:14

ew dude thats gross! I have a black lab that is now a year and a half old. about a year ago we always used to put her in this crate thing so she wouldnt chew up the house. so i went away to the 1st ktys when i got home i went downstairs to let her out as i approached i smelled something so i walked right up to the crate saw inside and she had diareead everywhere including herself. anyway i had to clean it up, it was disgusting. yup and she did it one more time about 2 weeks later.

slapdash21 · Post by **slapdash21** » 19 Nov 2004 14:52

haha, best topic ever

crazydwarf · Post by **crazydwarf** » 19 Nov 2004 15:13

Wow, Chrissy that is so gross... I feel bad for all you... I've never done anything like any of these topics...

david · Post by **david** » 19 Nov 2004 15:14

my cat peed in the basement once. it was pretty smelly.

slapdash21 · Post by **slapdash21** » 19 Nov 2004 16:36

oh wow, i just remembered the worst story ever, and it was about me! ok, here it is. im on the way to a movie with my girlfriend (now ex, but it doesnt matter). i was taking the subway to the movie theatre, and as soon as i got on the train i realized i had to crap WICKED bad, but there was no bathrooms anywhere, so i just squeezed together and held it in until i got to a train station i knew would have a bathroom outside of it. so i manage to hold it in until i made it, and then i get off the train and power-walk my way to a food court next to the subway.....CLOSED! it would be with my luck...so i start running in the direction of a wendys, still trying to hold it in...no bathroom. im running to burger king next door when it starts leaking out. it was SO fucking gross, and i was gonna be late to meet my girlfriend already. so i get to the bathroom and clean myself up. my boxers were so shitted up i just threw em away. it took like 25 minutes to get somewhat clean, and i hurried on my way to meet my girlfriend, quite late. halfway through the movie, i told her what happened

EDIT:this happened like just under a year ago. by the way

Seath · Post by **Seath** » 19 Nov 2004 20:03

when i was real drunk i puked in a bag, and then passed out and forgot where I put it, then two days later when i was getting some bread out of our freezer for my mom I found it

and to that I say:

steeban · Post by **steeban** » 19 Nov 2004 21:49

david wrote:my cat peed in the basement once. it was pretty smelly.

one time i peed on the floor in my brother's room cause i was mad at him

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 19 Nov 2004 21:50

Two stories...

When I use to live in Alaska my cat took a piss on top of the air vents (Prolly cause he liked the hot air coming out when he pissed... Sick fucking cat) so for about 5 months whenever we turned the heat on the house reaked of the rankess cat piss smell ever. Bear in mind we lived in Alaska so the heat was on like 90% of the time.

Fastforward to Seattle and my parents and family is gone for the weekend. I have two girls over and we've been drinking wine and some werid Chilean hard alchohal. We all are tired and go to bed and all three of us end up in my queen sized bed, fit for MAYBE two people, even though there are like 4 open beds in the house. Anyways I'm in the middle (naturally) and I'm just kind of staring at the face of one of the girls next to me who has her eyes closed, all of a sudden she hurls all over me like a fucking champ and doesn't even wake up.

God I was so pissed.

lightningbolt · Post by **lightningbolt** » 19 Nov 2004 22:02

Where in Alaska did you live?

Somebody threw up in the coner in one of my hockey teams after I checked him. It was so gross. Once I saw he was going to voimt, I hauled ass out of there. It was all over him and the other two he threw up on. The game was postponed for 15 miuntes while they cleaned that shit up.

Sticking to the pool theme. I was swiming with my three cousin (3 4 and 5) and when Matt said he needed to go to the bathroom. Since this was at a hotel pool there was only one bathroom and that was being used. So, he had to wait. He kept swimming and we forgot about his bathroom needs. About a hour later my mom rember he need to take a shit. but my aunt said he went in the and that it didn't matter since the shit stayed in his pants. He does that alot by the way she made it sounds. I wouldn't go near that pool for the rest of the night and I vowed never to go swimming with them again.

B_Man · Post by **B_Man** » 19 Nov 2004 23:37

This happened to me in just this week. Actually, it was a few days ago.

I came home and one of our cats was inside. Everything went well, but I could smell something... musky. I didn't think much of it and when I saw the cat leave the bathroom I remember I had to go use the toilet. On my way, I stepped on the carpet and my sock got wet. I look down and there is a small puddle of pee absorbed in the carpet thingy we lay in front of the sink. I chased the cat down and rubbed the pee in his face. Then I swore.

The VERY NEXT MORNING I woke up to find a huge pile of dog shit on my shred carpet. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! It looked like canned dog food with about a litre of water mixed in. So nasty. So, with only my breifs on, I trudge my way upstairs, grab the dust pan, go back downstairs, and scoop it up. It was enough to fill half of the pan. I walked to the bathroom, past my mom who was getting ready to work, and slopped it into the toilet while saying "One of the dog's just took a shit in the basement." in a grumpy rage. Then I went back downstairs to put some clothes on.

*shudders*

One time when I was like 3 or 5 or something, I took a poop outside and since I was wearing over-sized rubber boots it fell into one of them. I was like "oh dear, better reach in and grab it". Haha, GOLD!!

Then there was this other time not too long after the latter incident where I climbed a tree and had to go pee. My sister was climbing underneath me, and I thought it would be JUST hilarious if I peed on her. Haha, all she could could do was scream!! And not with her mouth open either, so it was all muffled sobs and very pissed off gestures (or maybe I should rephrase that... pissed on gestures

). I learnt my lesson though. Shortly after she gave me a cup of kool aid. I took one sip and immediately knew something was wrong. I'll let you piece that one together

hacksterbator · Post by **hacksterbator** » 20 Nov 2004 00:36

okay well i'll dish one of mine. so worlds this year in montreal, i got really really hammered on the first night (and derek nice guy that he is got most of it on tape, i put alot of it in my first worlds video). being all excited and every thing and wanting to party it up, derek, jaun, j-Mac and i decided we'd pre game it befor we went to el-zaz. derek and i split a 12. but not an even split. i think he had one... i had the rest. well we stumble down to el-zaz, quite a bit later because j-mac isn't the greatest navigator, and roll on in. i'm already pretty drunk. the first thing i do when see the bar. order a scotch on the rocks. and then another. did a little dancing, and then i some one, i'm putting money on juan, ordered a pitcher, and juan and i (with a little help from dylan fry) pounded it back. i went for a piss, came back and had another scotch. Andrew w from toronto and i were both leaning on a swivel stool. i leaned back and nudged him accidentaly, he got off the stool, it swiveled, i fell flat on my face (but darly genz caught my drink and didn't even spill any of it!!!!) i grab a seat again, not feeling so hot after my fall. as i'm resting my head on the bar juan and dylan are comenting on how i'm just about to puke. and tada, i did, right one the bar, and then on the floor of the bar, and then on the back of a nice net player who didn't beat my face in. derek was kind enough to clean up all my vomit off the bar and the floor, and off the stool the net guy was sitting on. i was then informed it was time to leave. i recall briefly being talked to (i was pretty incoherent) by fred t about how i have to get up off the ground and how derek is a spy or something, and how he should be a good friend and get me home. i don't remember anything untill i started climbing the stairs in our multi 8 on my way to the bathroom. i end up falling face first into the bath tub and smashing my nose. it's bleeding all over the place but i have no idea this has happened. upon exiting the bathroom derek says, "andrew do you know your nose is bleeding?" and i am told i wiped my nose with my hand, inspected it, said "yeah, it's been happening alot lately" and then stuck my hand into my pocket and laked to my room and into bed, leaving derek to clean the blood off the walls, bath tub, doors, door knobs. and he didn't even bitch me out about it. he's a champ. i really wish i had found the net player i spewed on and appologized.

pips · Post by **pips** » 21 Nov 2004 20:32

Seath wrote:when i was real drunk i puked in a bag, and then passed out and forgot where I put it, then two days later when i was getting some bread out of our freezer for my mom I found it

and to that I say:

HAHAHAHAHA!