so im dating this girl...not my current girlfriend. and we were supposed to meet to go to a movie on this particular night. so i leave my house and hop onto the subway. that day i had eaten for lunch a couple cupcakes and a nasty hotdog, and i could feel them churning around in my stomach. but, i feel reasonably ok. but suddenly, as soon as i step on the train, i felt the nasty food hit the pit of my stomach and i knew i was going to have to take a really nasty shit in the near future. but i couldnt think of any train stations nearby that had bathrooms, so i squeezed together and decided to hold it.
finally i came to one that had a burger king outside of it. i walked out of the station (i WOULD have ran....but it would have resulted in something bad) i get into the burger king....NO BATHROOM?!?!?! i swear i remembered there being one. oh well...just down the street there is a food court. i continue power-walking, literally holding my ass together with my hands at this point, get to the door of the food court....CLOSED?!??!?!?!?!?! AHHHH!! so, i started RUNNING towards a wendys neaby....when i felt IT...LEAKING out like a fucking fire hose (sorry if this is disgusting). it was out of control and very wet, and the running wasnt helping.
so im already late to my date. i ran into the wendys, into the bathroom, and spent about 25 minutes cleaning myself as best i could. my boxers...horrible. i folded them so the shit was on the inside and stuffed em in my jacket pocket and headed back into the subway system. i quickly realized i could smell my boxers, and threw them into a trash can in the train station. and i headed off to meet my girlfriend, about half an hour late. i waited until the end of the night to tell her what happened on the way
