Loosing friends

[NotHisRealName]

I just saw an old friend log on to Messenger. We used to play footbag together. In fact, we used to be the Queensland scene. We hung out almost every Sunday and played footbag with no-one but each other.
We'd sometimes get together and get ripped or pissed or whatever the night before a shred. We were together in being ridiculed by our friends who didn't understand what it was to be a footbag player - addicted.
They were all good times.

But then, after the biggest event of both our footbag careers (if you could call it that), the Australian Championships 2004, we came back, determined to go harder than ever. I had a messed up ankle from doing something stupid down some stairs, but I was always onto him on how he was going.
Then, when I got back to playing things started going wrong. He started becoming more unrelyable in turning up to shreds. He was often late and I rode his back about that (I figure it's only common curtacy to let someone know you're running late for a meeting or even not going to be able to make it). Then I snapped.
I had organised a 'big' kick with most of the Queensland players at that time.
No-one turned up and only two people out of 8 let me know that they couldn't make it, well in advance.
I had waited for an hour and a half with no word from anyone.
So I gave up on the Queensland scene.

But then I fogave my friend. He knew I was pissed off with him and he knew why. All seemed cool again.
I organised a kick with Jesse (at the time he was still just a young protoge, and not the 'bustin big shredder' that he is today), my friend and myself, in at Brisbane. Guess who was late? Yup, him again.
But I let it slide, I was in for a good day.


And that was the last time we've really spoken.

I've thought about it and I think there's a number of reasons why he's dropped out of the circle.
1) He can't accept that Jesse is a better player than him. He couldn't see that we'd helped Jesse get to the level he was at and that together the three of us would just keep getting better. He didn't see that and was scared of the competition.
2) (his excuse and I think it's weak) He'd reciently started a new job. One he had to ride a bike to, every day. He'd previously been on benefits for a number of years and the time had come for him to do something with his life. He got the job but now found no time to play the sport he was (aparantly) addicted to. Work and money won out over the simple joy of footbag.
3) Pot. He had always been a big pot smoker and we often enjoyed a smoke before or after a big shred together. But I was through with being a pot-head. I admit that I was a drug whore a number of years ago, but I got through that. I'm still a 'very' casual user of pot, but I'm no where near hard core. Him, though... It wouldn't supprise me if the first thing he does with his pay each week is by some more weed. Now, I don't have a problem with that, so long as it doesn't distroy your life and your will to do the things you enjoy (beside smoking pot).


Hmmm.
I'm not really sure what the point of this post was. It's just a damn shame that I've lost a freiend - someone to play footbag with (not that I can anyway - because of my knee). He won't respond to my messages and now I'm beyond trying to contact him, even though he's online now.

I guess I'm just wondering who else may have lost footbag buddies for no good reason.

[max]

I read the title and thought you'd talk about losing friends that don't play footbag because... they don't play footbag.

[DoctorJay]

Just talk to him and tell him the same thing which you mentioned in this thread.

I made a similar expierence - I left my old town due to my studies and I lost the contact to my best friend - it is really disappointing because the inet is a good way to keep in contact with people.

I have done a lot of things for keeping in contact with him but he doesn't use the opportunities I offered him - messenger / email....

He told me that he is not that fan of internet
I tried to phone/sms him from time to time but the response was not that kind of a warm feeling .

It is quite sad - as I left town it was really strange we had tears in our eyes because of the anger not to meet us that often as it was in former times .

He visited me a few times in my new town ( about 600 km away) but these days the chance of a visit is nearly 0%.

There are a lot of other friends who act like out of sight - out of mind.
This expierence showed me that it is really worthy to find "real " friends.

Try to analyse your friends by watching the circumstances which connect you.
In my tennis teams there were always nice guys but hardly anybody which was on the same level than myself.

Maybe my expectations to friends are way too high but I am not interested in those kind of partnership of convinience anymore.
I guess it would be easier to find better friends in one of those 10 footbag clubs in our city if they would exist like in football or tennis.

I would propose to talk with your friend and tell him about your feelings about the current situation.
If he realise your importance of your thoughts then it is good if not than it is very sad.
The most disappointing fact of my friend and me was that I talked to him about my thoughts and he hasn't realised my/the situation- hope this will change soon , when he has a valid inet account .

i do not know if anybody was interested in these kind of report by me - but it was a nice feeling to write it down .

thanks for reading

[*Jethro*]

I've thought about it and I think there's a number of reasons why he's dropped out of the circle.
1) He can't accept that Jesse is a better player than him. He couldn't see that we'd helped Jesse get to the level he was at and that together the three of us would just keep getting better. He didn't see that and was scared of the competition.

I didn't know he took it that way and I also didnt think I was a better player than him at that stage. I was looking to you and him as like "Freaken awesome shredders" back then and was enjoying how much I learned from our shreds. I must admit, the Brisbane seen is pretty dull now with only you, me and a couple of mates from my school still interested with footbag, but seeing as you have a bung knee it does'nt help much. I should have done more to encourage the sceen when it was still vibrant and we had alot more people shredding. I'm guessing that I shouldn't say the dudes name that your talking about but I thought it was very slack that he did'nt show up at BCS....for a kick, but also to catch up with some mates. He now either ignores me when I talk to him on msn and I have called him once since he quit. His words to me in our last conversation were "Mate, I gave up footbag because it was taking control of my life and I was going no where". He hardly even played from what I knew. Non-the-less he still was an awesome friend to play with and I often do miss his company. I'm glad that you (Gareth) didn't take my improvement the same way, yet you encouraged it and got me to a stage where I dont think i could have gotten to with out shredding with you guys.
It's so crap that you can't make it to Melbourne because I was looking forward to catching up with you. Anyways, enough blabbing on from me

Peace
Jesse.

[LittleBoy footbag]

sorry dude. I know how that feels. I lost about three kickers at my school because I just kept trying to help them when they said they could do it on their own.........



but just give it time.....hopefully, he'll feel that footbag clawing at his mind......

[NotHisRealName]

I've thought about it and I think there's a number of reasons why he's dropped out of the circle.
1) He can't accept that Jesse is a better player than him. He couldn't see that we'd helped Jesse get to the level he was at and that together the three of us would just keep getting better. He didn't see that and was scared of the competition.

I didn't know he took it that way and I also didnt think I was a better player than him at that stage. I was looking to you and him as like "Freaken awesome shredders" back then and was enjoying how much I learned from our shreds. I must admit, the Brisbane seen is pretty dull now with only you, me and a couple of mates from my school still interested with footbag, but seeing as you have a bung knee it does'nt help much. I should have done more to encourage the sceen when it was still vibrant and we had alot more people shredding. I'm guessing that I shouldn't say the dudes name that your talking about but I thought it was very slack that he did'nt show up at BCS....for a kick, but also to catch up with some mates. He now either ignores me when I talk to him on msn and I have called him once since he quit. His words to me in our last conversation were "Mate, I gave up footbag because it was taking control of my life and I was going no where". He hardly even played from what I knew. Non-the-less he still was an awesome friend to play with and I often do miss his company. I'm glad that you (Gareth) didn't take my improvement the same way, yet you encouraged it and got me to a stage where I dont think i could have gotten to with out shredding with you guys.
It's so crap that you can't make it to Melbourne because I was looking forward to catching up with you. Anyways, enough blabbing on from me

Peace
Jesse.

Jesse, that BCS video I did with the Bob Log III music... that was the last time the three of us played together.
We hadn't played (all three of us) for a long time before, so this was a kind of reunion thing. I KNOW you blew me away with your level of play, and the realisation as to how quick you were picking up the game. To be honest, I found it rather intimidating and almost resented you for your youth and ability.
But then I realised that I was still a part of a movement within Australia. I (believe) I influenced you and others in the sport, within Queensland, and that leaves me feeling really proud. Even if I never play again, I know that I did something for the sport and that I helped you get 'somewhere'. You did all the hard work, I admit, but I like to think that I helped guide you along the way.
Foxy could never see that.
Foxy and I had a friendly rivalry going on. We liked to push each other to the next level in our play, but...
I just don't think he really had it in his heart.
I think it 'seemed cool, at the time' - but it was never in his heart... it was never really a part of him.

Jesse, you and Hagsey are the best thing to happen to this sport in Queenaland (if not Australia) in the last few years and if you stick with it, you'll go far.

Me, I'll always be a 'no-body' in the scene. People will not say "hey, did you see that shit that Gareth was hitting on Modified?". But that's cool. Unlike Foxy, I can accept that, because, like Forra, I'm just a stepping stone for those after me. As you will be.


Would Vasek still be the golden child if he'd never seen someone shred?
Hell no! (was that Moglum? if so, that dude needs some major props for what HE'S contributed to the sport!)

And that's what I accept (with regards to you), and what Foxy could not.



But still, even if he has stopped playing, is that reason to snubb your friends?






I guess so.

[Acid~Reign]

It's never easy losing friends, but sometimes they just change so much that they really aren't on the same level of thought anymore. Not necessarily higher or lower, just... different.

Maybe it's not so much a pride thing with him but that he really does want to make something out of his current job and doesn't have any time for something else at the moment, let alone the sometimes obsessive sport known as footbag.

It's not easy, but the best thing that one could do is to assume the most optimistic of possibilities and maybe he'll come back to footbag, or maybe he won't but you can still be friends anyway.

[NotHisRealName]

nice thoughts, Jon.




I'm a pessimist, though.

[Just call me hagesy]

Life is a funny thing sometimes. And its made funny by a little thing called perception. I don't know foxy, and maybe all the reasons you listed is why you and him are not mates anymore. But what has happened as happened, and if he doesn't want to meet you halfway, then thats that.


i will try in a couple of months to get down to brisbane to shred with you and jesse.

peace
hagesy.

[BainbridgeShred]

It always kind of depresses me when I read posts on hear about people selling all their footbag gear and vid's and such. It's just like, "Wow, footbag was such a huge part of their lives." and then they're out.

[Moglum]

Would Vasek still be the golden child if he'd never seen someone shred?
Hell no! (was that Moglum? if so, that dude needs some major props for what HE'S contributed to the sport!)

You know, I wonder myself sometimes, what would my life be like if Vasek never came to that Park one day and started playing with me But it wasn't my fault or achievement. I would have taught the few basics I knew at that time to anyone. Who would have thought I was schooling the future 5times World Champion. I have a photo somewhere of me unpacking and cutting his first pait of lavers for him, for a small 13years old kid Ahh brings back memories

[Bander87]

Friends can be funny sometimes. Maybe I’m kind of like that friend you guys are talking about. I have a casual friend who claims we have been best friends since we were little. I see him as a casual friend, he sees me as a best friend. I have another friend who I am close with that I am caring a lot less about (because of his constant negativity).

I think true best friends are hard to come by. I’ve had the same good friends that I’ve grown up with since 3rd grade. Maybe it’s hard for me to make connections. Maybe it’s hard for me to open up (which is true).

Maybe with shred partners, shred is the main connection between you guys. When one person losing interest in shred, sadly, the friendship diminishes as well.

Oh yeah, no footbag for me in this post.