Is it rude to ask about financial situations?

QuantumBalance · Post by **QuantumBalance** » 07 Jul 2005 00:13

Recently my friend and I got into a debate because I asked friend how much they owe on their credit card. They got offended, because they consider asking questions about someones financial situation to be rude and personal ...

I consider it a legitimate question and I was asking because I was seeking first hand knowledge of credit card experiences, and that person just closed off to me. Nuts..

Am I crazy or should I mind my own business?

For the record that person described personself as someone who I talk to occationally - i considered person a "friend" but they dont consider me one apparently so ...

Anyway Please settle this!

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 07 Jul 2005 00:43

Sometimes it is - it really depends on the person. I think more conservative people or people with conservative up bringings would find it offensive while more liberal people probably wouldn't be offended - but that's a rough generaliSation, it really depends on the person. Same with asking somebodies age or their weight. I guess if you just word the question something like?

"Is it ok if I ask a personal question?" People will always want to know what the question is so they'll say yes or they'll say some smart arse comment that means yes but that they might not answer.

Then ask the real question. They might not answer but they'd be a real prick if they got offended by it.

max · Post by **max** » 07 Jul 2005 01:56

I think you can generalise by saying:

people with lots of cash have less problems talking about their financial situations than people with very little cash.

NotHisRealName · Post by **NotHisRealName** » 07 Jul 2005 03:48

max wrote:I think you can generalise by saying:

people with lots of cash have less problems talking about their financial situations than people with very little cash.

I think that's a really bad generalisation, and somewhat inacurate.

Regarding Sam's issue, I think it comes down to deplomacy... how you state your question, and if you give your subject some bacground, too.

For example... "I'm thinking about getting a credit card, but I'm not sure if I'd be able to deal with repayments. You've got a credit card, how do you cope, and what do you owe - if you don't mind my asking?"

Maybe something like that.
But it also does come down to the individual person.

bigdirtyfoot · Post by **bigdirtyfoot** » 07 Jul 2005 04:42

I'd be fine talking to you Sam, about my credit card history and experiences, if you wanted to do that. I also think that's a bad generalisation, Max. I've met a lot of uptight rich people, and some very open lower class people.

Colin · Post by **Colin** » 07 Jul 2005 04:58

First hand experience?

Sam, I owe half of my life to my VISAs. From the little bit I know about you, it seems that you could end up the same. Be careful with those things.

Maybe your friend just beat up a little kid for lunch money, and is being torn apart by the guilt?

skoxn · Post by **skoxn** » 07 Jul 2005 05:31

max wrote:I think you can generalise by saying:

people with lots of cash have less problems talking about their financial situations than people with very little cash.

i think, it´s the opposite!

people, that own lots of money, are often very avaricious and don´t wanna talk about their cash. they are afraid, cause they have so much.

poor students or other people, that live without big luxuary items, can speak easily about their financial status. they don´t have to lose so much.

but in general, i´d say, that it´s ok, when you ask the person before. it´s a little step in the privat sphere of somebody, so be careful!

QuantumBalance · Post by **QuantumBalance** » 07 Jul 2005 06:07

i guess i should have expected it from conservative PEOPLE!

i totally had no idea it would be stepping on their sphere

COOOOOOOOOOOONSEEEEEEEEEEEEEERVATIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEEe

max · Post by **max** » 07 Jul 2005 06:08

Yes I also know people with no money who talk endlessly about not having any. I also know wealthy people that talk endlessly about how much they're making, what car they just bought etc...

ok how's this for generalisation version 2: people who grew up not being wealthy and that are now wealthy tend to speak about it a lot (yes I've noticed that too many times too count).

but I think I'm heading way off topic with all this anyway. To answer QuantumBalance's question I'd say that financial situations does fall into the touchy subject category. The best person to ask is still your banker.

QuantumBalance · Post by **QuantumBalance** » 07 Jul 2005 06:08

WHY ARE THERE ONLY 3 VOTES?

max · Post by **max** » 07 Jul 2005 06:08

you've got 4 now

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 07 Jul 2005 06:24

I can't really vote - I'd vote for sometimes. It depends on the person and the situation. Personally you could ask me at any time and I wouldn't be offended. But if you asked my grandmother - maybe she would be - I'm not sure.

FlexThis · Post by **FlexThis** » 07 Jul 2005 07:38

Man I don't know who to quote first. Think I'll skip the quotes and say you are all wrong about conservatives and rich people.

We don't tell cause:

"It's none of your business!!!" Period.

It is not the rich nor conservatives obligations to anyone to discuss their own personal financial situations. You can draw whatever conclusion you want. But the bottom line is:

"It's none of you business!!!" No other explanation need be given. It is simply rude and arrogant to ask someone about their personal business.

bigdirtyfoot · Post by **bigdirtyfoot** » 07 Jul 2005 07:49

FlexThis wrote:"It's none of you business!!!"

I think that Damon's definitely right. It's none of you business, it's their business! But still, that doesn't rule out those people who are willing to talk about their experience with finances.

FlexThis · Post by **FlexThis** » 07 Jul 2005 08:05

Yeah I was defending the rich and conservative. I have no idea how others choose to conduct their personal business.

My roommate is an extreme liberal, and even he doesn't discuss his finances.

slapdash21 · Post by **slapdash21** » 07 Jul 2005 13:39

how well you know someone.

and i think you have to know them PRETTY well to ask questions like that...but thats just me.

Splint · Post by **Splint** » 07 Jul 2005 14:17

If I ask someone that question it's because we mutually count eachother in the best friends list.

Bander87 · Post by **Bander87** » 07 Jul 2005 19:01

It usually isnt any business to the person asking the question, but I don't think a casual friend should care. The person answering the question can though answer in vague ways without giving a number figure.

"How much money do you owe on your card?"
"More than I should" / "A lot" / "Not that much" / "Nothing too big"

Its kinda like doing pot. Its a personal thing, but some people don't really care if friends know or not.

NotHisRealName · Post by **NotHisRealName** » 07 Jul 2005 20:01

Bander87 wrote:Its kinda like doing pot. Its a personal thing, but some people don't really care if friends know or not.

THAT is a good analogy.

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Is it rude to ask about financial situations?

Is it rude to ask someone about their financial situation?

Is it rude to ask about financial situations?