Tuscon, AZ-
A 17 year old male was in seek of getting laid. One night, he took his girlfriend up to the top of a mountain just outside the city. It was a very romantic sight, all the lights in the clear desert air. It wasn't long before he and his girlfriend were out of the car, having sex on a bed they had made on the ground out of their shed clothing.
Let me explain a bit about weather habits. Lightning takes the path of least resistance to the ground. Which means, it will strike the highest point in the area. This mountain was the highest point in the area. The few trees anywere near them were charred black from being struck. This young couple failed to notice this fact.
They were so ingrossed in their sexual exploits that they failed to notice the thunderstorm move in. Lightning struck the highest point in the surrounding area, which, at the time, was the man's left butt cheek.
The sudden shock of hundreds of thousands of volts then traveled the path of least resistance to the ground. which, at the time, was through his penis, into his girlfriend.
Today, cows are slaughtered by means fo anal electrocution. They take a cattle prod, and insert it into the rectum, and shock the cow. The internal shock is what kills them. If the cattle prod was used on their skin, it would not kill them, the shock has to be internal in order to cause death.
Well, the man was lucky. he got the lightning bolt on his skin. he survived. His girlfriend received the shock inside her vagina, which killed her immediately.
When the man looked at his girlfriend, it was clear she was dead. He then tried to remove his penis from his girlfriends corpse, to no avail. The head of the electrical sharge had melted the condom, and fused it to the surrounding flesh. The excrutiating pain of trying to pull out made him throw up, directly into his dead girlfriend's open mouth. THIS sight made him pass out.
There's more.....
The next day, the man came to. There was a bear licking the vomit from the girls mouth. After he had consumed the partially digested meal, he began to eat the girl's corpse. Crushing facial bones, and consuming her body. He licked the man, but did not eat him.
The man tried to stand up, and get back to civilization, but he didn't get far, due to the severe burns on his butt. His legs simply could not move the 1 1/2 people.
Two days later, a girlscout troop is climbing the mountain they encounter the 17 year old, and call authorities.
After a long stay in the hospital, the man was sugically separated from what was left of his one time girlfriend's corpse. Doctors said his severely burned penis resembled a piece of cauliflower.
HOLY SHIT!!! (As Opposed To Unholy Shit)
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bigdirtyfoot
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bigdirtyfoot
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Hacky_Slacker
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QuantumBalance
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Hacky_Slacker
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Playing dead helps, it teaches us bears will lick our mouths if they think we aren't paying attention, I'd rather have him lick my mouth then kill me really...or maybe it just teaches it bears enjoy the fine taste of human vomit.ninja wrote:If this is a true story then the next time u see encounter a bear ull know playing dead wont help
this is the 44 Wand, the most powerful Handwand in the world, so did i fire 5 or 6 fireballs? now you got to ask yourself one question pal, do i feel lucky? well do ya punk.
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bigdirtyfoot
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madshred2003
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