Macbeth Essay.... ESL level....... (1k words)

ThisIsFate · Post by **ThisIsFate** » 14 Dec 2005 18:42

Cuz i need to take english to graduate, lol so i am in English 11, with some English supporting classes....... ( i need 1k words )
I wrote an essay and i wanted some opinions... Cuz i got 2.5 out of 6 .........

The topic is MAcbeth is controlled by fate or not......
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I thought Macbeth was controlled by fate. Actually, I thought everything is controlled by fate. Everything is connected to everything else, we just couldn't see through the connection.

For an example, every raindrop didn't fall in a certain place by chance. The temperature of the atmosphere, the direction and speed of the wind... every drop fell exactly where it's supposed to. Destiny merged into another destiny, then met with an even greater destiny. Eventually everything flows into a lake.

I also believed that there's a way to predict or to calculate the future. However, we just didn't know how to calculate it. Just like when I blew a piece of paper away. We just couldn't see the procession, but our knowledge told us that's the air movement moved the paper.

In the beginning of the play, three witches have appeared and are talking about the civil war which was being fought in Scotland. To the witches, the outcome is known. It seems like those witches could see the future. Didn't know why, but the three witches were waiting for Macbeth and Banquo.

The first Witch announced "All hail, Macbeth! Hail to thee, thane of Glamis!" The second and third witches also announced "thane of Cawdor!" and "that shalt be king hereafter!" to Macbeth. They also told Banquo that "Lesser than Macbeth, and greater." "Not so happy, yet much happier."

Later Macbeth murdered the king and became the king. I thought if Macbeth didn’t murder the king, someone would have probably murdered him, if that's the fate of Duncan. Macbeth would probably be the king no matter what happened. It didn't matter how the procession went, Macbeth would became King as the result, because that's his destiny. If Macbeth wasn't destined to become the king, then no matter how hard Macbeth tried, he wouldn't be the king anyway.

In Act 2, Macbeth had a vision of a bloody dagger floating before him and leading him to Duncan's room. "Is this a dagger which I see before me, the handle toward my hand?" Macbeth. Again, it didn't matter the bloody dagger was some kinds of magic or Macbeth's illusion. If Duncan was destiny to kill by Macbeth, then Macbeth would successful anyway. Macbeth even did something crazy like killing the servants and brought the bloody dagger with him.

After the death of Duncan, Macbeth talked with Banquo for a bit. Banquo just showed his loyalty and didn't act carefully. “Command upon me, to the which my duties are with a most indissoluble tie for ever knit”. But he told Macbeth he would be father of the king. That sealed his fate.

Plus the three witches foretold Banquo's prophecy in front of Macbeth, those were causing Banquo being killed and that's his fate. Banquo's death seems evitable, if he was more carefully and thought of the possibility of Macbeth's actions. In my view, Banquo was destined to die. Banquo was loyal and that's his nature, he born like that and nothing could change it. His fate was decided that he would change his personality like Macbeth did.

Macbeth wasn't a bad guy at the beginning of play, he was a brave soldier, but his fate made him meet those witches and marry an ambitious, cruel woman. "Yet do I fear thy nature. It is too full o' th' milk of human kindness To catch the nearest way." Lady Macbeth thought her husband was too kind and naive.

In Act 3 Scene 4, Macbeth saw Banquo's ghost in the banquet. The three witches had tell Banquo that "Not so happy, yet much happier." And it seemed right, because I thought Banquo was kind of happy when the witches told him that he would be the father of king.

But later when he got killed, I bet he was so not so happy. After Fleance has escaped, the book didn't mention anything about him anymore, so he might have became king at sometime or the three witches were not skilled enough to predict the complete prophecy or all futures.

Later in scene 5, Hecate has shown up, the queen of the witches. She was angered at the three witches for not involving her in the business of the new King. Therefore, she planned to lead Macbeth to his downfall by making him feel over-confident in himself.

Hecate didn't use any magic to do this, she just used psychological skills. At this rate, if Macbeth was fated to become the king, then no one could change it.

The next day, Macbeth went to find the witches and this time the prophecies were spoken by three Apparitions. The first apparition said, " Beware Macduff, Beware the thane of Fife. Dismissme: enough." The second apparition said, " The power of man: for none of woman born shall harm Macbeth." The last apparition said, "Who chafes, who frets, or where conspirers are: Macbeth shall never vanquish'd be until Great Birnam wood to high Dunsinane hill shall come against him."

Macbeth learned that Macduff was a threat to him, but he decided not to kill him but killed his family. Macbeth was doing something very stupid, it seem liked he was destined to kill by Maduff later. Macbeth has committed so many murders, but now he was not going to kill the most threatening person to him. Macbeth's fate has decided that he was going to fail and Macbeth had no choice.

In Act 5, Lady Macbeth went crazy and started sleepwalking showing the doctor and the gentlewoman that she and her husband did something terrible. Lady Macbeth was the only partner to Macbeth but later she is dead.

Macbeth's fate was going down. Macduff has convinced Malcolm in England to overthrow Macbeth, and now they were on the way. It was fateful when I found out Malcolm told his army to cut down Birnam wood and brought them toward Macbeth's castle for disguised. Malcolm didn't know Birnam wood toward Macbeth's castle was a threat to Macbeth. The only person knew that was Macbeth himself.

The Birnam wood toward Macbeth's castle shouldn’t have affected Macbeth as the wood was there but rather it more affected Macbeth's mind because of the suggestions already planted there by the witches. But the point was we didn't see the procession of it.

It is a little bit similar to Feng Shui. Feng Shui was not a religion or superstition, modern science has proven it to be a complex mathematical system. Feng Shui was a science incorporating astronomy, geography, the environment, the magnetic fields and physics. The reason I talked about Feng shui was I wanted said that when we didn't see the procession of something didn't mean it didn't exist.

Back to the play, Macbeth felt very scared, yet still was holding on to the third prophecy. However, he decided to fight, because he believed that he would not be killed by anyone born of women. Later he gained more confidence when he got an easy victory over young Siward.

Soon, Macduff found Macbeth and they fought, but Macbeth suddenly felt that he has killed too many people and now he didn’t want to fight. Macbeth even knows Macduff was the most threatening person to him and he got a chance to kill Macduff, but he didn't do it.

It so obvious that Macbeth's fate was going to fail, even when Macbeth had the upper hand in his fought, but his fate still made him make the wrong decision. Later, when Macduff told Macbeth that he was born by caesarian section and thus he was not technically born of women, it seems liked Macbeth lost confident and lost in the fight. But I thought Macbeth would lose the fight anyway, because when a person didn't want to kill anymore in a war, he would end up dying for sure.

At last, my conclusion was the only person who controlled Macbeth's fate was Shakespeare's fate, because Shakespeare's fate made Shakespeare write Macbeth's fate like that.

In reality, I believed fate was a natural system that so complicated that we can’t understand. I remembered there was a time I liked and tried to burn many kinds of things. Once I burned up a whole bunch of branches, then many moths came and got attract by the fire. I didn’t know then, but I was sitting back and looked at those moths flying into the fire and getting burned. It didn't matter how I stopped them, they just blindly jumped into the flame. I didn't know what exactly I was thinking, might be I thought they were dumb, but my impression was those moths were trying to fly into the fire.

Moths might look foolish to us, but we are just like them. They are born foolish and so are we. Sometimes we do something we don’t even know why or we already know it is stupid, but still do it anyway, that might be our fate!

Troyson · Post by **Troyson** » 14 Dec 2005 19:06

wayy too much to change to even tell you. To start off your ideas dont really flow together too well, and your examples are somewhat weak. Also, you have incomplete paragraphs that are like 2 or 3 sentences, thats BAD. You want to have paragraphs that are at least 5-8 sentences. Try to combine some of the paragraphs and explain ur examples more in depth. I hope this helps you.

save.cullen · Post by **save.cullen** » 03 Apr 2006 17:31

One thing you can easily change throughout your intire essay is your verb confusion.

ie.

I think Macbeth was controlled by fate.

I think everything is controlled by fate. Everything is connected to everything else, we just can't (or, can not) see through the connection.

For an example, every raindrop doesn't (or, does not) fall in a certain place by chance

..I dont know if you have already turned this in, or if you even still happen to check this. But, I hope it helps somewhat.

Zeb Jackson · Post by **Zeb Jackson** » 04 Apr 2006 12:52

yes you voice your opinion WAY too much in this whole entire thing, i think it would help you alot if you revmoved these 1st person pronouns and describe these situation in which "you think" they are important, because its my first hand expirience that shows english teachers hate first person pronouns in english papers i hope this helps a little

dyalander · Post by **dyalander** » 04 Apr 2006 17:11

I didn't really have time to go throught the whole thing but from what i saw one of the key problems is represented by

Back to the play

You should not have to say this. You should not have left the play in the first place. Its an essay about fate in Macbeth not about your opinions on fate and Macbeth. You focus on the notion of "fate" if the question is about whether or not Macbeth is controlled by fate, what about the notion of "control". Obviously these concepts are linked but you need to define the terms of the question such that you can provide the most complete analysis of the play possible. For example, in your focus on the notion of fate you ignore the role of Lady Macbeth in the play - to what extent does she control Macbeth. To what extent is Macbeth "controlled" by ambition, or by the social conditions within the play. Do the witches give Macbeth an ambition he never had, or do they simply push his already present ambition to the fore.
Your references to the play do not prove points so much as they simply retell parts of the story - structure your essay such that each paragraph begins with a point you wish to make in answer to the question. The following sentences should elaborate this point and quote the best evidence from the play which proves the point.
Hope this is helpful. If you really want to pass, if he/she doesn't do so ask your teacher to make in depth comments on your essay.

professor · Post by **professor** » 09 Apr 2006 23:50

Regarding the first person pronouns:

When you are writing an essay, the reader already knows that what they are going to read is going to be your opinion. So, you don't need to say things like, "I believe" or "I think". The reader already knows it's what you believe, you don't have to state it in your essay.

For example, instead of:

I thought Macbeth was controlled by fate. Actually, I thought everything is controlled by fate.

It would be better looking something like this:

Macbeth was controlled by fate. Actually, everything is controlled by fate.

Also, you generally do not want to use contractions in a formal essay.

Muffinman · Post by **Muffinman** » 14 Apr 2006 01:04

Yeah, definately don't write in first person.
I always had difficulty with technical writing until I got a really bad grade on a paper because of it (which was frustrating because it wasn't taught in the class).

A tip that helped me understand how paragraph structure should work is that a paragraph is like a miniature essay. The paragraph should have one point. The first sentence should introduce your point in relation to its predecessor and the last sentence should conclude it. Sentences should also have a single point. A mistake I often made was that I would combine two points in a single sentence and neither would be properly presented, as the confusion between the two would negate them.

Remember that an essay is usually a formal paper, so avoid using slang and informal vocabulary.

It's really late, and I didn't actually read your paper (mostly because I am sick of having to write a ton of them all at once very recently), but from the comments, and from reading your first paragraph I hope the advice helps. I can say that it being written in first person threw me off and I didn't even understand that I was reading your essay when I started. Even at first glance it is hard to tell that it is an essay because of the basic paragraph structure.

Let us know if you have a chance to resubmit the paper and how you changed it/will change it if you did.

EDIT: Also, remember your tenses. I don't remember what "contractions" are, but from that same quote above from the first two sentences of your essay you changed from "was" to "is", and that just won't fly. Also remember when you write about a novel you want to write in present tense ("MacBeth DOES so-and-so blah blah", rather than "MacBeth DID so-and-so blah blah")

ThisIsFate · Post by **ThisIsFate** » 20 Apr 2006 15:29

thx alot guys, this is my first time writing something about a noval.

rules:

Write in present tense, do no use first person view.. like "I"

didnt know that

Any rules left

Muffinman · Post by **Muffinman** » 20 Apr 2006 21:39

A big part of a formal essay is presentation. A title page and proper formatting are important. Essays are usually double spaced. You seem to have difficulty with spelling, so make sure to take advantage of your word processor's spellcheck -- you could get docked a lot of marks for poor spelling and grammer.