mahhkohh�s little fairy tales!

[derstefan]

hm, did she tell any reason or don't you want to talk about it?

[DoctorJay]

not a nice sentence to read about you and your girl .... of course you can think that my question is why ? answer it if you like or not if you don't like .

Sorry to hear that you got such a bad news around xmas

keep it up dude

[mahhkohh]

uhm...right now i dont wanna discuss the reasons on a public forum.she told me why she did it,and what can i say,i can at least understand it!

yeah i wonder if x-mas hold any good news for me in the fututre.every year around x-mas something realy fucked up happens!i think i should just convert to a jew or moslem...then i wouldnt have x-mas,maybe this could help!

[mahhkohh]

life sucks right now.i have troubles concentrating on certain stuff,my head achers from all my stupid thinking and i dont feel compfortable with my new "freedom"...

my thoughts today:

what the fuck did i to deserve all this?why is every year around christmas something happening that causes me too either:visit some loved ones in a hospital,give up all i ever beliefed in,go too a graveyard to visit some guys i lost during the year....3 years ago 2 days before christmas my dog died,christmas was fucked up after that.2 years ago a buddy of me died.last year my parents got divorsed..that made such a impact on all of my beliefs.this year i hear that my grandfather has cancer and then my girl just quits on me.thats not realy fair...i cant realy focus on even stiching one damned pent onto a bag to finish it to get it ready for shipping...i allmost did some stupid things today at work because i was so pissed about every single person that dared to disturb me...i dont wanna get too emo here,or anywere else....but damn,why is this happening to me in a situation were i cant realy get drunk?...damn...i open up a beer right now....
dark brewed beer and chocolate cake...i know i know...this is not the way to deal with stuff like this,but i need this right now...

i dont even know how it is going to continue from here on.we have some party´s were both of us are invited,and i think i wont be missed there...i cant imagine that she will be...not too mention that we by now have allmost the same circle of persons around us...i am realy curious how they will react...damn...this is making me insane...i started to draw and write at work...today...ussually it takes me a week or so to start this part of the emotional extrusion prozess....uhm...up to no nothing mentionable came out,i hope i can get some good poem or pictures out of it...uh...i got my pen pad today...expecct some nice pics from me in the next few weeks...i first need to get used to this...

the fact that i think about getting the best creative output off this situation makes me somehow feel good.i hope i dont get stuck in some emo valley for too long.at least my"cheer up,u still live it cant be so bad" attitude was one of the reasons she couldnt go on with me...so i will demonstrate some faith in my own attitudes and show the world/her that i can go without her very well....damn,i hope it at least!

[mahhkohh]

so here we go....i am a emotional wreck right now.she did it...i am done...i have so many stupid thoughts in my head right now.i will share some,because this has become more than a footblog for me...i think this is some kind of a real diary for me now...just the little fact that thousands of persons can read this is a bit distuburbing.but i dont care right now.i want to write this down and in a few weeks come back and read it and laugh my ass off,while snuggling with my new love...

i cant sleep anymore,i am dead tired,but i just cant sleep.my bed feels so big and empty and cold...i cant remember when she last time layed in it,but it has her smell,and i got it washed since that day...i have to think about every single day we spend in that bed,snuggeling,just enjoing ourselfes...and now...the baed is my enemy...or maybe the sleep is.i know that when i close my eyes i see her.also...allmost everywere i go i see something that reminds me on her...i think getting out of town for a few days would help me big time!

i saw her yesterday at a friends party.we talked a bit,but you could tell that both sides were very carfull to not say something the other would take as offense.we need to get used to this,i mean,we were a couple for over a year.might not sound much,but this beats my longest relationship multipiple times.so i need to learn to threat her like that ordinary girl she wants to be for me...but i´m afraid this may take a while...

uhm...sorry,i lost my mood somehow...i will write down more later.i am too distracted to play warcraft 3 again...i found it on my pc yesterday,so i will start to love it again!but now i have troubles getting patches,i dont understand this...uhm...i´ll be back!

oh...here i have some of my first works i made with my pen tablett....it just raw doodeling and playing with the coloring tools and so....i dont think its too good,but i will show anyway!

this is a doodle of what i can remember on my new years eve party!....lol...the dude in the red shirt is supposed to be me...i dont drwa faces just now,because i have troubles with those details...and i think i said"let us fuck this year"...but i´m not sure,oh and the girl was so annoying.she pissed me so off....i hated her!


just some "faces" and color test things....

uhm...i think i will go and call some girl to get some action for the next few days....its stupid but i cant rub off.... i think i will need some help....

uh i love the "take it with some humour" attitude of mine....

[DoctorJay]

Dude , sorry you got my condolescence for your current situation.

To the footblog/diary thing I only can second that - my blog is for me by far more than a sheet to note my footbag stuff. I doubt that there are much of those who read your whole blog ( that is necessary to be able to understand something) and so there are not thousand of people.
Ask yourself how often you click a blog and you were recognizing that you are not interested in reading and go on to another one.

It is tough to see her from time to time, and you will be remembering the good moments of your relationship. Ask yourself if you would be able to spend the rest of your life with a person who don't want to do this with you !!!!

It is hard to get through this but it is better to end this chapter of your life and jump into a new era - if you think you should spend your life with her and she think in the same way then she will come back.

A friend of mine quitted her relationship for exactly this reason , he thought that he has not tried enough in his life to get married/closer with her and so he asked for a break . I was like wtf how unusual but this was for me by far the best solution for them . Maybe they will find again to each other or they won't - in any case it is the best solution .

Unfortunately you are the part which doesn't want to quit but if she did not love you anymore , then thank her that she stopped the relationship , otherwise she will come back .

The other things which happened were really bad instances and I cannot even think how they would affect my own life . I hope you will master your current situation and will go on like you are . You are a good personality and I am sure that you got great qualifications for this.

This is only my advice to a situation I lived through one time ( gf quit relationship after 2 years ) and I am still thanking her for that because I found out about FOOTBAG later and then I found out about my current gf and that was the Jackpot I think. So I guess you just have to think your situation through and do not try to get tooo emotional on the analyzation. I think I got a nice time with my ex and an even better time with my current gf. I never felt the feeling of love before and I guess I never found out about it when she haven't left me two years ago .

These are only my two cents and if you ever need someone to talk or a place to crash for a few days - you got my number dude . That is my only offer to support you buddy


Happy new year and the only good thing about bad situations is that sometime it will get better .


Good luck

[mahhkohh]

haha...jochen you know what...i love you man...u have this...super analising the situation brain...and then...what you say and write allways seems to show the perfekt solution...i wish i had some of this,this would probably make my life a bit easier...i mean that....

i realy apprichiate your post.as allways.and i think you are right.i mean,i have some ex-gf now...i get allong with all of them very well.it just took some time.and eventho my deepest hope is that she realy just needs a break my brain is making plans how to get this situaiton fixed the best...it seems that in town the rumor is spreading i am single again,just minutes ago a girl called me,she never before did,and asked me if i still know her and if i have something against a drink with her...she heard that my gf quieted...haha...i have nothing against it...she seems like the perfect distraktion.i hope she can understand this....

ok...some things i had in mind while crushing a human base on warcraft3...we declared that we still like each other...me and my ex i mean.so that shows me that i cant be such a bad person...and maybe...just maybe...but we willl see...of course...i love her,how could i refuse her proposal to try and stay friends.eventho i think tahts the stupidiest thing to say after a relationship...but we decided this in style.like we did all things in style...damn we had style!

ok...i just had the greatest idea in my whole life....i was searching for a new desk.and as i saw how ugly and expensive desks like i want them are...i decided to make myself one....this is going to be great....this wil be the biggest desk you have ever seen....but first i need to draw some sketches and calculate if it is payable...cause if i wouldnt save a whole lot of money throu it i will just hopp over to ikea and buy a ugly one!

uhm...jochen,thanks again for the proposal,but i prefer to not go onto your nerves...i will check if my buddy in stuttgart is available....i have 2 weeks of...but...uhm...2 weeks shred sessions with the doc...uhm...

oh hey hell yeah.i made another pic.its a cool thing witht his tablett you can draw after the lines of a photograph u put onto the tablett...i did it to the coolest photo i found...watch it.i think the coloring job just destroyed the pic a bit...but see for yourself!

[mahhkohh]

haha...someone voted no on my poll...and that little coward didnt said why...haha...i dont like you!...haha...uhm...please be so kind and at least tell me what u dont like.

i played hack for one hour.today and yesterday.not much of good stuff.basicly no good stuff.i hadnt played so long now.i first need to get going again.uhm...i tried inside set diving stuff...went quiet good,but i didnt hit anything of the stuff.but i came close too inside set diving butter!
i also did some osis and rake studies...my rake looks pretty cool now.not the normal rake thing,i kinda develop my own style lately.that is sweet.i have some cool ways to do f.e. butterflys.but u might see me doing style in person...i played in lavers today.in climas yesterday.and once i can give my heart away for an hour to mod my lavers like i want them i think i will stick with lavers again.some might say its a step back...but who cares...i still keep the climas and use them once in a while...and untill now i dont dare to mod the shoes anyway.

tomorrow is a great day for me.at least i think.i arranged a little date with my ex girl.i have some things that need to be cleared.and then...ladies i´m coming...haha...uhm....i´ll post some thoughts later...maybe....

today i got a webcam.and i learned that i can make videos with it.i didnt knew that.so maybe,when i am finished redesigning my room i will make a crappy vid and post it

uh my quote of the week is:

"tha ho´s aint worth it"

...damn i wish i had gotten this in this blog!

[Markusss1988]

don't cut away the toe!!!
this nice shoe...

we have to make a video-talk, when you are online the next time!

it's nice to hear that you are shredding again!

[mahhkohh]

markus...i trade me in a bag for a trashed pair of lavers.so i will cut away a bit from this one!

yes i´m shredding again,but more important,i dont do good.i realized that from a certain point on u need to drill and try every time u can to keep your level...this is getting heavy.i wanna do crazy stuff,but man,in my condition right now i cant just perform 100% every day.but i will again...some day!

today,my girl was here.we watched tv.i snuggeled a bit onto her.she let me do it.so i think its allright.but then,she suddely left.she promised to talk a walk with her neigbhour and her dog...thats what she said.i need to phone her tomorrow to find out if i did something stupid.i know she wouldnt tell me right on the spot,but she will when i ask her.its just her style...all in all i realy enjoied siiting next to her again,but without this damned feeling of "uh i love you.come back to me"...she was more like a....intimate...at least...thats what she is.and i enjoied talking to her and seeing her and telling her what happend to me all those days...i have a feeling that we might get allong fine.i hope it.i enjoy her too much to just loose her fully right now.
but hey,dont get me wrong.i´m just returning from a date with a hot chick.damn....she´s gorgeos...but i need to work more to convince her to make out with me...haha....i think i´m getting better!

footbagish nothing today.oh well i played at work when i had some time spare...uhm...did some clipper>flapper>rpt for a couple of times.but nothing else...i will start to play more often...i have two weeks off...then i will shred hard ass

i cant go too berlin!*cry*i wanted.but it makes just no sense to drive 9 hours to get there.then party one weekend and drive 9 hours back....i mean...i will be dumped after that weekend.andi cant get a cheap flight over there.i right now could fly to prague cheaper than to berlin...man...why isnt there a event in prague???*lol*

so i´m drunk right now.so i will rub me best friend a bit and then go too bed i think...or maybe wathc commercials on tv...i love them.they are so stupid and funnny...

see ya dudes!

[Pengu]

Marco, I honestly feel sad about what happened. You seemed so happy and in love with her. I hope you guys still remain friends and close. Play more footbag to distract yourself from the shitty mood. And in the end, the shittiness will pass and you will find someone more perfect.

I wish you all the best in this coming year. Chin up dear.

[mahhkohh]

@peng:thanks for those nice wishes.i realy apprechiate this coming from u.uhm...i realy do distract me,but somehow strangely not with footbag.my fabric wont come,so i cant realy stich...i cant see my old colors anymore....and playing is so...i dont know...but i will play more...hehe....and if this more perfect person appears you will be the first one to know!

so what did i do the last days....basicly nothing.i played a bit hack with some dudes.was fun,and i didnt even thought about starting to show of...thats a nice change of directions.i did some atw and legover stuff.but most of them could do it also...maybe i will bring them too freestyle the sneaky way!

the last couple days i was most of the time either drunk or i did some drawing or i played warcraft 3...and right now i wait to get my street fighter game.so i can get oldschool again...haha...i loved this game back in the days.and its still good!

some of my friends think they have to show me avery single woman in town.so i could choose one to become my next gf...haha...those guys are so lovable....i love them.but i dont think i will get into a relationship too soon right now.the taste of freedom is just too sweet!haha...i´m getting realy better....

oh i did another pic i find worth posting.it basicly goes back to a sketch i made when i was...16 or so...i reworked it a bit to fit my current style and level of painting.when 16 i thought that might be how i look when i´m 22...haha...luckiely it didnt happen to end like this....damn...i would totaly suck...or be the coolest guy out there...haha...


so see ya...i need to get ready to go out!

[DoctorJay]

What is up dude ?

[mahhkohh]

thats what i should ask you...why didnt you post something in your blog for so long...or is it just my alarming email thingie thats malfunctioning again?...uhmm...expect a big entry tomorrow...i´m too tired right now!

[mahhkohh]

ok...first of all...i didnt shred in this week at all...i did some barefooted dexes to show a friend what footbag is all about,but no real shred.i have no space right now,and i have no time realy.
so here are some things i like to anounce.first of all...i have finaly a new street fighter game. well its not realy new...but hey its the first street fighter i bought since street fighter 2...and that was super nintendo days...
then i have finaly recieved my facile...8new colors waiting to become YOUR bag...so dont hesitate to check me for one!

bootom left to right:hawaii blue,white and yellow
next line:purple,blueish and red
above line:realy light blue,imperial red,dark muddy green
top line:orange,green,midnight,pink
somehow the colors dont come out the true way.but as soon as i made a better pic ill edit it into this post!

then i used my tablett a bit.well i´m still not that good like on papaer with a pen in my hand.but i post my latest two anyway!

well...just my ussual comic character in a midnight surrounding....i like the colorish ways of the sky...

a manga styled face i did...the dimensions arent that good...in fact they suck...but it looks nice anyway!

see ya

ps:i´m goin to make a vid real soon!

[mahhkohh]

well well well

today is a very special day.first of all today is my brthday.i´m 23 now...damn i feel old serious.i dont feel anything other than yesterday.well,one thing is different.i think i am over withh my broken hart thing.that shows in several ways.
first,i wanted to call her today.but i just didnt.i will have to appologize to her,when i meet her anywere by pure chance.i dont wanna see her right now.thats a good sign for me.in a few weeks i will be ready to see her as just a person i know.
second,i shredded today.like crazy.i hit atomic butterfly...oh and some nice strings.when i changed the style of my living room i will make a few shred vids with my webcam.it will be shitty quality but its the best i can offer right now!my strings get realy nice now.i realy like my shred right now.i´m loving my barefeeted action just more tho.hit today:pixie butter>whirl>pdx illusion...barefeet.
then i have some motivation to stich again.i donate for a event.i hope the guy that gets the bag in the end likes it.
also my bags that i make for peng are going to be just fine.i can tell,by the way the panels feel right now.i hope the second one wont get that small...

painting goes allright.i have some nice pics now.eventually i post some of them.but not now.i´m on the way to go...i have the eager urge to go out every night now...thats fine,i´m getting back to live...

[brian relly]

Happy Birfday.

[DoctorJay]

Happy birthday Marco!

[mahhkohh]

hey thanks guys.

jochen...is that in the avatar you????damn...you sure made a change in your looks....cant wait to see you in real somewhen....

addendum to todays post:

i went out for a nice and chilly drink with some cose friends.i think i will burn a cd for my ex,give it to her and maybe she understands.
uh...finished a sweet bag today.will make pics tomorrow or so!

[mahhkohh]

damnit...i totaly neglect my blog.damnit....

keh

shredding:goes allright.i dont hit new stuff lately but i get a bit more fluid with the stuff i can.thats more important for me right now.but i sit around a lot and waste my time with being emo about my situation and play playstation instead of shred...but i am back at work now.and i had some crazy strings at poolside today.woooooooot...damn...and i´m so tired lately,i cant sleep at night because of my emoness(i cant help it.it just happens)...when i think about how i could shred when i was in top shape....damn....

stiching:due to the above told reasons i dont stich too much lately.but i have some orders to catch up to....damn...i need to do it...damn*knod on the head*

lunch:rice with cheese and tunafish

i will have to be at work at 6 am tomorrow.so i will now munch a bit and then go to bed.or at least try it.maybe i can go with little sleep from now on.then i am glad my girl left me...