Reile's CIC blog

sen · Post by **sen** » 09 Mar 2006 00:20

Thanks for the right up on CSS.

It sounded like tons of fun.
I look forward to the rest.

C-Fan · Post by **C-Fan** » 09 Mar 2006 11:35

Yeah, I'm excited to read more too. Gooood times hanging with you Styly.

ninjo · Post by **ninjo** » 09 Mar 2006 12:16

Yeah thanks man,It makes me feel so happy when i read someone likes my style.It drives me to go farther into style.
It feels like a job well done, when someone likes to watch me freestyle.

Thank you my friend

Zeke · Post by **Zeke** » 09 Mar 2006 21:28

I got you a typewriter

Zeke · Post by **Zeke** » 25 Mar 2006 20:42

Zeke · Post by **Zeke** » 02 Apr 2006 07:48

CIC flurry · Post by **CIC flurry** » 02 Apr 2006 08:13

Yeah! and where are the dahnuts?

Zeke · Post by **Zeke** » 05 Apr 2006 18:54

My roommate describing how good the food really was:
"It was like God taking a shit in my mouth!"

CIC flurry · Post by **CIC flurry** » 10 Apr 2006 22:47

Reile, I miss ya man. We should hang and look at the womens and eat food. It's getting warm.

The Actual Sized E · Post by **The Actual Sized E** » 11 Apr 2006 21:19

I miss all you guys too, I've slipped back into one of my unhealthy phases again

. I know that for my closest friends, the ones that really care about my well-being and will remain my friend no matter how stupid I get sometimes, when I get like this it can be really infuriating and hurtful. And though I may forget it sometimes, I know that it affects much more than just myself. In my most sincere tone: I'm sorry

. My understanding of addiction is so different now than how I used to envision it. Addiction is such a cop out. That's not to say I don't believe in it, addiction is very real, but what it comes down to is that you are always the one in control, you are simply choosing to prolong the habit. Acting as if it's no longer in your control and you are not responsible for your actions because you're addicted is weak and pathetic. Coming to that realization was really sad and depressing. I can stop and return my life back to the former healthy state it was in a few years back if I just decide to and commit to it. And yet here I am still, same as I was a year ago (maybe even a little worse). I'm an addict by my own will, it's not because of chemical dependancy, and it's not because of her, I did this. All I have to do is want to stop, but I just don't know how to bring myself to that point. The honest truth is that despite how ashamed and disgusted i feel about it at times, i really do enjoy my addiction and don't want to give it up. And even though I might not want to quit specifically, I'm painfully aware that my life is in dire need of change. I simply can't keep up my current lifestyle, for health reasons, for monitary reasons, and for respect of both my self and my friends and family who are worried and scared for me and don't deserve to feel that way. Anyway, any suggestions, comments, or words of wisdom from those of you who have been there and back are welcome and would be greatly appreciated. And please keep in mind that my bringing this out in the open and making it public is a big first step towards taking control and changing myself for the better, so anyone feeling the need to bash or baselessly criticize me, please just bite your tongue as it won't help me at all. The sooner I depart from this stage in my life the sooner I can return my passion back to footbag

. Thanks in advance to everyone. The footbag community really is an amazing group, the percentage of intelligent, thoughtful, positive, and just all around cool footbaggers is just astonishing. I want to say a specific thanks to Mike H, Emily, Sam C, Dan K, Hood, Brad, Bob G, Zach, Jeremy M, Dat, Loren, Juan, Bijan, Lon, Risden, Greg, my whole Chi-town family, and anyone else who I managed to miss mentioning here (yes, you, I can't believe i forgot you

). You guys have all helped me somehow in the past, or let me help you, or just in general been a real friend to me and I whole-heartedly appreciate it.

Optimistically yours,
Stylee Reile

PS - I'm especially looking forward to hearing from Zeke and Tom. Your opinions and respect are so important to me, I take everything you guys say very seriously, even ridiculous shit like frinjerone and dibble

. And one promise that I've always upheld is that no matter what, I'm always going to be straight and honest with you guys, I'm not here to hide anything or bend the truth.

CIC flurry · Post by **CIC flurry** » 12 Apr 2006 00:06

Ryle,
I'm really happy about ur post.
I always want to have a good argument against the drugs, but when we first talked about it, I couldn't think of anything specific. I just knew it was bad from what I learned in school and in movies. I know that the only way for you to stop is to realize and believe it's bad for you. I'd like to blame bad influences like parents do, but that won't help. I wish I did more research, cause I have no experience with this, but here's what I got off the top of my head...

If drugs were really fun and free from any negative affects, then that'd be great. I think that you think that there are no negative affects aside from not focusing on progressing in life, chilling with your friends, etc...reasons that are not so immediate or tangible.

Here are some others:
Addiction: maybe you really aren't chemically dependant, but maybe that's because you're stronger willed than others.
Poison: Bad mixture? the dealer put too much baking soda in the mix for more profit.
Bad neighborhoods: getting robbed/beat up/killed
Overdose: too potent/ too much
Going broke: We could go on vacation instead

or buy other tits things.
disease: sharing needles with hoggle or whoever maybe? who knows where that dirty creature has been. (idk if needles are even involved).

Assuming that you stay clear of all these, and I'm sure you do ur best to keep the chances of those above things to a minimal, it's still not without long term effects. One example is: your nominal level of dopamine neurotransmitters (the chemical in your brain that affects happiness among other things (like parkinson's disease)) is lowered after repeated exposure to such drugs. Your brain gets so much of it and blocks other receptors when you expose yourself to these drugs that it changes the balance for good. Bottom line is you end up with a chemical imbalance for the rest of your life. In this case, you're just less happy the rest of the day, every day.

Also, you lose your front teeth.

So yeah. I respect you alot, think you're smart, and trust your decisions. I believe you and I think and view the world very much alike. If you say something is not bad and something to not be concerned with, and have several reasons - I believe you. I have no experience, so I think - maybe you're right. But you gotta be missing something. There's too much social awareness for everyone else to be wrong.

Well, more later...
And we gotta look at the womens soon, we both need new ones. Oh yeah...instead of dahnuts, I'm gonna get this buttercream delight cake from heineman's..I loved that shit when I was little. Maybe we go to dominick's thursday.

The Actual Sized E · Post by **The Actual Sized E** » 13 Apr 2006 14:54

Thanks for the response Tom. I agree with a lot of what you said. I would never argue that drugs were free from negative affects or not something bad to be concerned with. Like just about any other indulgence, I think drugs are both beneficial and damaging. I think illegal drugs have a very powerful taboo built around them, which is probably based mostly on truths but gets adulterated along the way though ignorance and scare tactics. Most people would probably agree that cigarettes and alcohol really aren't much different than other drugs other than the fact thet they are legal, but would get all up in arms if you refered to them, a smoker or an alcoholic, as a drug addict. But that is what they are. I think the same can go for lots of substances like refined sugar or coffee, people who regularly eat lots of sugary foods can go though horrible withdrawal syptoms if it's suddenly taken away. I'm not saying any of this as an attempt to validate my drug use, obviously pointing out other similar new vices will in no way justify the original, I just think it gives some perspective. I have a lot more to say on this but I'm feeling lazy and I'm having TV withdrawals so I'm gonna go met my fix. More later maybe

The Actual Sized E · Post by **The Actual Sized E** » 13 Apr 2006 15:58

I actually kicked yesterday

. I've been having an itch to kick recently but it was always a little too chilly or i'd get off work too late. Yesterday though, was gorgeous outside and I got off early so I went to the park and solo kicked for a little while. It was both fun and frusterating. My body is just not in shape to shred by myself anymore, and it's so aggravating to get tired 10 minutes into kicking. I did some basic drilling which was ok, but didn't hit anything really noteworthy. Pixie SS torque bs. I did try, and kind of hit a trick i had been thinking about lately. At CSS both Evan Gatesman and I hit toe set whirling gyro toe, like wauxpin but with a whirl dex, and that got me thinking of trying to do other tricks into gyro toe, like butterfly swirl. It feels like it would look really pretty, but when I tried it yesterday it felt really sloppy and cheap. Oh well, I'll try it more late when my legs aren't so tired.

Oh also, when I got home from work today, I started hearing this obnoxious loud squaking noise: "WARK WARK WARK WARK WAAAAAARK..... WARK WARK" and so on. So I look out my back window and it's a couple of sea gulls having sex behind my apartment. The male was flapping all crazy and really giving it to her, which really surprised me for some reason. Immediately, the dork in me ran to my room to get my video camera, which I just got back from repair and haven't used in almost a year, to tape it. But by the time I turned it on they had finished, and my camera which I just got repair is back to being broken in the same way as before!

Great, no seagull sex and no working camera again. I guess if that's what I'm using a camera for it's not that big of a loss though

brian relly · Post by **brian relly** » 13 Apr 2006 16:12

The Actual Sized E · Post by **The Actual Sized E** » 19 Apr 2006 02:19

I got inspired by Zeke's footbag shirt collection to post my own. Many thanks to Zeke for taking almost all of the pics for me

. I'll try to finish the descriptions soon but it's just so damn late now.

My Footbag shirt collection

HooD · Post by **HooD** » 19 Apr 2006 04:17

Now that is an impressive collection ya got there ! They're all so very nice and taken care of. All my shirts get worn down and stained...and eventually lost except for a few lucky ones, haha. I'm glad you posted your problems out here Reile, big step for anybody to do. Unfortunately I won't be seein you anytime soon and I don't think I'll be holding the 3rd WV Jam, but instead I'm helping organize an event in Pittsburgh, we should be getting dates soon...possibly June 24th & 25th, so just keep that in mind and something to prepare for

Hopefully we'll have a dope shirt lined up for ya.

Zjeezy · Post by **Zjeezy** » 19 Apr 2006 11:01

that blue CIC shirt is awesome!! I really want to come back to chicago and spend more time and get to kick more. Hopefully I can do that soon.

Reid · Post by **Reid** » 20 Apr 2006 19:43

!!!Footbag!! If the man didn´t want you to footbag he wouldn´t have given you legs.

Zeke · Post by **Zeke** » 22 Apr 2006 18:27

The Actual Sized E wrote: The honest truth is that despite how ashamed and disgusted i feel about it at times, i really do enjoy my addiction and don't want to give it up.

Thats pretty much all I got out of that bullshit post. Just answer me one thing... why the fuck do you try and eat healthy then?

And please keep in mind that my bringing this out in the open and making it public is a big first step towards taking control and changing myself for the better, so anyone feeling the need to bash or baselessly criticize me, please just bite your tongue as it won't help me at all. The sooner I depart from this stage in my life the sooner I can return my passion back to footbag Very Happy . Thanks in advance to everyone. The footbag community really is an amazing group, the percentage of intelligent, thoughtful, positive, and just all around cool footbaggers is just astonishing

Blah, blah blah, you want intelligent thoughtful and positive... TOUGH SHIT, you got me

I'm just keeping it real on ya

Zeke · Post by **Zeke** » 24 May 2006 15:04

Overheard at the B-day Bash:

Some kid, "Yoooor owt!"

Some tall guy, "No, it landed in your square, you're out. That's not debatable"

Some asshole, "Yeah, you would need a vocabulary."