Bloodninja

Kick back and relax. Anything that does not have to do with footbag goes here!
Post Reply
brian relly
fan-tas-tic
Posts: 2711
Joined: 31 Aug 2003 10:03
Location: 303

Bloodninja

Post by brian relly »

Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

---------------

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja: How did you know?
Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit
DirtyKate: Fuck

------------------

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.

-------

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

----------------

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Fuck am I hard now.

-------------

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA:
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

------------

sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't fucking laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: Fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU SHITHEAD!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth clit.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ...still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

-------------------

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 280 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart:

-----------------

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women...
J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipshit.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

---------------

J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet.
Partner8: Who the fuck are you?
J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion:
J-Dogg: Fuck me, Fuck me.
J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever.
Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me?
J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh.
Partner8: Is that like cancer?
J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy.
Partner8: Good one romeo.
J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku.
The salmon swim at night.
Towards your room.
The snow and the moon.
Partner8: that was never a haiku.
J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness.
Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku"
J-Dogg: So you ready to fuck then?
Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent.
J-Dogg: ...
Partner8: ?
J-Dogg: I'm spent.

---------------

J-dogg: Hey
QT-Pie: Hey
J-dogg: whats goin on
QT-Pie: Nothing. Who are you?
J-dogg: J-dogg. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie: what does that mean?
J-dogg: what are you wearing?
QT-Pie: T-shirt. Jeans.
J-dogg: Garter belt?
QT-Pie: Ummm...no.
J-dogg:Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
J-dogg: Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
J-dogg: You're wet already. I can smell your pussy stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
J-dogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
J-dogg: You leave everything to J-dogg.
J-dogg: I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play.
QT-Pie: This is weird. I should go.
J-dogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
J-dogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
J-dogg: I was great. You loved it.

---------------

J-Dogg: You there baby??
Partner2: Yeah I'm here.
J-Dogg: You ready?
Partner2: Okay.
J-Dogg: I take off my trenchcoat I'm nekked beneath, with pistols on my belt.
Partner2: Cowboy boots?
J-Dogg: WWI era trench issue boots.
Partner2: okay...
J-Dogg: Help me pull my boots off baby.
Partner2: Whats that smell?
J-Dogg: Rotting toes.
Partner2: Ummm...
J-Dogg: My boots pop off. My feet are black. The toes crumble off with the slightest touch. The dead black tissue that was once my skin chips off in large crispy flakes. A smell of death pervades the room. Gangrenous pus drips from the ends of the stumps where my toes were. I look deep in your eyes, and shove my tongue down your throat.
Partner2: ...
J-Dogg: You carress my ass, and trim my pubes...
User avatar
jbalexdarkelf
Multidex Master
Posts: 247
Joined: 01 Feb 2005 16:05
Location: Glasgow, Kentucky, USA
Contact:

Post by jbalexdarkelf »

What in the hell?
John Alexander, 17
Calling all footbaggers from Kentucky if you see this sig and are from KY, PM ME!!!!

"Beggers cant be choosers"
"Yes and givers cant be asses"

www.myspace.com/coheed_dude
sniikeri
Lauri Jii
Posts: 1705
Joined: 14 Apr 2004 07:01
Location: Mouhijärvi, Finland

Post by sniikeri »

Haha, who is this Bloodninja(/Wellhung/J-Dogg)? Not someone from modified?
Lauri Jaakkola
User avatar
brinard
Flower Child
Posts: 1915
Joined: 05 Jan 2006 22:14
Location: nashville tn
Contact:

Post by brinard »

that shit is hilarious!
User avatar
zeroman13
Post Master General
Posts: 2385
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 07:17
Location: Somewhere in the desert!!!!!
Contact:

Post by zeroman13 »

brinard wrote:that shit is hilarious!
Wasabi wrote:Footbag is not materialistic; it's about challenging yourself and having fun at the same time.
Josh M.
My Website
Pm me for details about Munster Bags!
User avatar
Roy
Multidex Master
Posts: 234
Joined: 10 Feb 2006 18:49
Location: Greensburg, Pennsylvania
Contact:

Post by Roy »

amazingly funny. I love mr. b ninja!
Roy Bradish
Royal Footbags >> 32 panels!
sampotter
the boy who lived
Posts: 2299
Joined: 11 Feb 2004 18:19
Location: 47º37'N 122º19'W

Post by sampotter »

Funniest shit I've read in a while!!! Thanks Skeebs. :D
BainbridgeShred
Post Master General
Posts: 2352
Joined: 10 Nov 2004 23:22

Post by BainbridgeShred »

I'm surprised none of you have seen this before. This shit's like 7 years old.

Very funny though. I might read it again later.
Image
User avatar
NotHisRealName
Post Master General
Posts: 2527
Joined: 26 Oct 2002 03:43
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Contact:

Post by NotHisRealName »

LOL. Yeah, I've seen them before, but it looks like there a a couple of newer ones there that I haven't seen before.

Thanks for sharing
Comment in the BCS blog if you feel the need to.

Gareth Williams
User avatar
ShazamTheman
Hack Fiend
Posts: 21
Joined: 30 May 2006 17:47
Contact:

Post by ShazamTheman »

Ahaha i love it! lol.
thanks for the laugh man!
My name goes here.._?

Eric Marsh yo.
User avatar
qphox
Bullshit Detector
Posts: 2894
Joined: 30 Jun 2003 07:20
Location: Vancouver, BC

Post by qphox »

Yeah, I definitely saw these 3 years ago, but they're still hilarious.

J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy.
- Kevin R.

F = G*((m1*m2)/r^2)

Know thy enemy.
User avatar
SandWraith
Egyptian Footgod
Posts: 1272
Joined: 05 Apr 2005 20:39
Location: Marshfield, Wisconsin

Post by SandWraith »

Yeah, a bunch of these were up on albinoblacksheep.com a while ago. They're still some of the most kickass reading though. I had to reread them all again. Ahhhhhh immaturity. :)
Zach Marine - Member of the Tendonitis Club!
blog
User avatar
RunAmuk
beerless
Posts: 147
Joined: 27 May 2006 18:36
Location: Big S.C. cali.
Contact:

Post by RunAmuk »

love that stuff.
kindah old now but still funny every time
ejgammage i-am-kuma
since i throw my comb away, jah love.
one love. one aim. no me, just us.
User avatar
sidekick
Egyptian Footgod
Posts: 1024
Joined: 22 Feb 2005 14:55
Location: Portland, OR
Contact:

Post by sidekick »

I laughed so hard! OMFG!
Nick Landes

Proudly Representing Fourkast Footbag Co.
http://www.fourkast.com

Portland Blog

All the ladies love Matt Cross because Johnny Depp + Footbag = Matt Cross

Mastery is the combination of knowledge and practical experience
MegaFighter_X
Post Master General
Posts: 2334
Joined: 27 Apr 2003 16:52
Location: Las Vegas
Contact:

Post by MegaFighter_X »

oldie but goodie... :D
John D
hacksterbator
Washed-Up Child Star
Posts: 4141
Joined: 12 Jul 2003 18:33
Location: Winterpeg, Manisnowba
Contact:

Post by hacksterbator »

thanks for posting that steven, it made my morning!
A.G.
User avatar
The Actual Sized E
Fearless
Posts: 585
Joined: 07 Apr 2003 18:23
Location: Chicago, IL

Post by The Actual Sized E »

Here's a kind of funny one I found. Not as funny as the ones up there, but it made me laugh.

assmongler (8:32:22 PM): hey baby, you should dump your boyfriend and send that love my way
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:32:39 PM): who is this
assmongler (8:33:16 PM): the manliest guy ever
assmongler (8:33:24 PM): which is why i'm great
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:33:28 PM): and that is
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:33:32 PM): ?
assmongler (8:33:45 PM): but seriously, dump that zero and get with this hero
assmongler (8:33:53 PM): word to vanilla ice on that one
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:34:01 PM): who is this
assmongler (8:34:56 PM): you know me baby
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:35:00 PM): seriously
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:35:27 PM): no cant say i do
assmongler (8:35:47 PM): hmm, maybe you don't then
assmongler (8:35:58 PM): this is jen right?
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:36:24 PM): no
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:36:27 PM): this is katie
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:36:33 PM): who is this
assmongler (8:37:11 PM): this is randal
assmongler (8:37:29 PM): are you one of jen's friends maybe?
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:37:43 PM): i dunno jen who
assmongler (8:39:34 PM): jen i don't know, i got this screen name from frank and he told me it was jen's, she's my lover
assmongler (8:40:21 PM): i think you're my jensie
assmongler (8:40:37 PM): you're trying to trick me right jensie
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:40:52 PM): no im not
assmongler (8:41:58 PM): sure, ok, well i know you too well
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:42:25 PM): look at my profile
assmongler (8:42:25 PM): fine you're not, you can be katie for today, call me christoph
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:42:28 PM): my name is katie
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:42:35 PM): who is this
assmongler (8:43:10 PM): i'm cristoph lol, remember, katie
assmongler (8:43:34 PM): hehe, so katie, what up with you and greg huh?
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:43:44 PM): what
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:43:52 PM): are you talkin about
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:43:52 PM): greg ho
assmongler (8:43:55 PM): i saw you guys in physics and well, i wasn't pleased
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:44:11 PM): i dont even have physics
assmongler (8:45:57 PM): oh, lol, i know nm
assmongler (8:46:12 PM): i never saw katie with greg
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:46:31 PM): ok wow
assmongler (8:46:33 PM): I JUST SAW YOU JEN, YOU.
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:46:35 PM): your really weird
assmongler (8:46:55 PM): YOU AND THAT FUCKFACE GREG CRAYERS!!!
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:46:58 PM): and i thinkim gonna go now if you dont tell me who this really is
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:47:07 PM): who is that
assmongler (8:48:49 PM): listen i'm tired of this too, it's fuckin Randall, and i'm not shittin around no more ok. We're through, i'm done with this game and I'm done with you. You can have that shit-ass i heard he likes carissa jensen anyway
assmongler (8:49:11 PM): smell you later, smell you later FOREVER
assmongler (8:49:18 PM): BYE!
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:49:25 PM): haha
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:49:27 PM): wow
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:49:30 PM): bye then
assmongler (8:49:54 PM): yeah it's so funny to you, you break everyone's hearts
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:50:06 PM): yeah thats me jen i break hearts
assmongler (8:50:11 PM): that's why they all call you slutheart
assmongler (8:50:21 PM): leave me alone!
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:50:25 PM): ok
assmongler (8:51:56 PM): ALONE!
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:52:19 PM): ok ill be glad too since i dont even know who the fuck you are!
assmongler (8:52:45 PM): thank god for that!
assmongler (8:52:53 PM): if only it were so
assmongler (8:53:07 PM): i should just kill myslef
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:54:06 PM): your weird
assmongler (8:55:09 PM): yeah, too weird to be loved
assmongler (8:55:18 PM): too weird to live
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:55:19 PM): seriously
assmongler (8:55:22 PM): :'(
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:55:22 PM): this isnt funny
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:55:27 PM): a joke is a joke
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:55:35 PM): but when it comes to this joking its not funny
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:55:41 PM): for real who is this
assmongler (8:56:00 PM): whatever, it doesn't matter.
assmongler (8:56:21 PM): i'm not gonna kill myself, but i sure hate my life
assmongler (8:56:49 PM): because of neglegent love
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:57:22 PM): dude i dont know who you are
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:57:37 PM): where are you form
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:57:40 PM): from
assmongler (8:58:28 PM): i'm tired, go off with greg
assmongler (8:58:39 PM): don't talk to me in class tomarrow
SoCrTaStIcK02 (8:58:46 PM): dude
assmongler (8:58:48 PM): forever bye
Post Reply