Chuck Norris Footbag Facts

Iron Clad Ben · Post by **Iron Clad Ben** » 05 Sep 2006 10:16

Did a search and was amazed this hasn't been done yet. I thought of this a while ago, figured I'd post it now.

CHUCK NORRIS FOOTBAG FACTS

Chuck Norris holds the world record for most symposium tricks in a single run at 537. Chuck Norris does not need to plant his feet, ever.

In 1967 Chuck Norris' right leg was severed in a battle with 214 ninjas. He still managed to roundhouse kick all the ninjas to death with just one leg. The stump later regenerated back into a full leg and the severed leg morphed into full human form and was named "Kenny Shults".

The greatest spike in footbag net is the Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. It was outlawed in 1974 after killing all 15 other competitors at a tournament in Portland that year. In protest, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the ground, and Mt. Hood sprung up outside of Portland.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris invented the legbeater and the legbreaker, but not the legeater.

After Chuck Norris drinks freckled lemonade he pisses out perfect 32's that make even Lonn Irish bags look like crap.

I could probably think up a bunch more. ADD YOUR OWN!

PegLegHolly · Post by **PegLegHolly** » 05 Sep 2006 11:17

chuck norris jokes are getting old. chuck norris is getting old...

...if you want a hero to look up to...

mr. t!!!! talkin about... bad for the kids

BenRea · Post by **BenRea** » 05 Sep 2006 11:20

im sick of chuck as well...

Zeb Jackson · Post by **Zeb Jackson** » 05 Sep 2006 11:21

i still think chuck is the bomb

Senor Grommet · Post by **Senor Grommet** » 05 Sep 2006 12:34

When Chuck Norris plays footbag, gravity doesn't win . . . the ground loses. EDIT: actually everybody loses but Chuck.

Chuck Norris can define paradox.

The reason that there are so few women in footbag is because Chuck Norris got to them first.

The only indestructible element on earth is Chuck Norris pubic hair. Coincidentally, Vasek Klouda's footbags are woven from strands of Chuck Norris pubic hair, which is why Klouda's bags never get holes.

Troyson · Post by **Troyson** » 05 Sep 2006 15:09

Senor Grommet wrote: The only indestructible element on earth is Chuck Norris pubic hair. Coincidentally, Vasek Klouda's footbags are woven from strands of Chuck Norris pubic hair, which is why Klouda's bags never get holes.

Shredinger Z · Post by **Shredinger Z** » 05 Sep 2006 15:13

-In the first competition ever of Shred 30, Chuck Norris hitted 413348791234 tricks in 30 seconds...
10 add moves - 123102801 unique moves

15 add moves - 213409824 unique moves

Infinite add moves - all that rest until 413348791234 unique moves

And the department of maths of the Cambridge University could not calculate the add ratio and his final puntuation.... yet!!

-All the World footbag champions since footbag exists are footbag champions because Chuck let them to be...

Zeb Jackson · Post by **Zeb Jackson** » 05 Sep 2006 15:21

mirkens are the best lol

sidekick · Post by **sidekick** » 06 Sep 2006 09:12

Zeb Jackson wrote:mirkens are the best lol

his chuck norris facts are always the best!

ah... good times in Santa Cruz.. I miss you guys

Kiper · Post by **Kiper** » 30 Sep 2006 11:47

Chuck Norris can play "sick 3", using only 2 tricks

Chuck Norris can do symp. ducking paradox toe delay

Eric Chang · Post by **Eric Chang** » 30 Sep 2006 20:07

Chuck Norris can do a "Triple legover"

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever hit SUPER NEMESIS (basically a triple dexing version of the Nemesi)

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever beat Steve Goldberg 2/3 in 2 Square

In the future all adds will revert to the Chuck Norris rating system, meaning the Chilly Philly Sauce will only be .01 Chuck Norris.

Those are some really really bad ones, but I hope you enjoy laughing at me

smokefree · Post by **smokefree** » 01 Oct 2006 07:36

I just think this has gotten pointless. The Chuck random facts did have some creativity, but now you're all just saying Chuck can do this footbag, no chuck can do THIS in footbag, thats so hard. Its all the same thing... Thats the only chuck im sick of. The E-Chuck. Internet Chuck Norris. Let it die... please.... its bleeding and tired.

Kyle Hewitt · Post by **Kyle Hewitt** » 01 Oct 2006 08:12

Chuck Norris never bleeds.

King Monkey · Post by **King Monkey** » 01 Oct 2006 09:35

PegLegHolly wrote: ...if you want a hero to look up to...

mr. t!!!! talkin about... bad for the kids

Don't take me for no jibber-jabber fool!

Wasabi · Post by **Wasabi** » 04 Oct 2006 05:06

When Chuck Norris played net, he played solo in every match, even in doubles circuits. Everytime the netbag was served to him, he would always roundhouse kicked them and the bag would shoot straight like a speeding bullet. Every kill amounted to an automatic win.

Whenever Chuck Norris wanted to play fire hack, he would instantly will the bag to burst into flame with his intense stare.

When Chuck Norris plays 4-square, everyone loses. He would punt the bag with his roundhouse kick, and with his awesome calculation of bag trajectory and physics, take out his 3 opponents ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

Chuck Norris rarely does symposium moves, because by the time his leg stomps onto the ground it would crack and cause massive earthquakes. His last attempt of symposium moves was the San Andreas Fault.

Roy · Post by **Roy** » 04 Oct 2006 07:22

Robert wojci · Post by **Robert wojci** » 04 Oct 2006 11:24

^^
lawlz
chuck pwns!

Wasabi · Post by **Wasabi** » 04 Oct 2006 13:02

Chuck Norris never gets Zeke'd. Zeke gets Chuck Norris'd.

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick equals 3-4 dexes around the bag, at any given time.

Chuck Norris does not double dex in his double downs. The earth just revolves faster around them.

Chuck Norris' kidney stones are the secret filler to Ilja bags. That's why they're one of the best bags in the world.

Whenever Chuck Norris barrages, people within a 10 mile radius gets roundhouse kicked in the face.

Zeke · Post by **Zeke** » 04 Oct 2006 15:51

Wasabi wrote:Chuck Norris never gets Zeke'd. Zeke gets Chuck Norris'd.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the record, I've never really Zeke'd anyone... Chuck is just so goddamned fast.

Chuck Norris once joined a bunch of hackers in a game of KILL/WAR. No one survived. That game has since been changed to ZAP

Chuck Norris sent a cardboard cutout of himself to challenge the best 4-square players in Chicago. It won 5,373 games in a row, lowered the crime rate by 75%, impregnated 50 elderly women, kicked 32 children in the face and taught Matt Churney freestyle!

Chuck Norris is the reason why getting a player out in 4-Square is called a 'kill'

Chuck Norris was the first king in 4-square. That's why the king has 2 votes.

Chuck Norris' roundhouse spikes could kill everyone within 30 yards of where it impacted. Spiking is no longer allowed in 4S.

Chuck Norris would karate chop the limbs off of anyone who crossed into his square. Stepping into another square during a round is no longer permitted.

Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick anyone who would argue against him. Now a vote occurs to settle disputes - you don't give Chuck no lip.

Chuck Norris has been hunting in the midwest for the past 7 years. That's why Midwest Regionals attendance has been steadily declining.

Chuck Norris won all four of tennis' Grand Slam singles titles 15 years in a row crushing Rod Laver's record of 2. Chuck wore the Laver shoe and roundhouse kicked every ball. Having witnessed this awesomeness personally, Rod could not be impressed when he eventually saw freestyle footbag.

Wasabi · Post by **Wasabi** » 05 Oct 2006 04:58

The last two are hilarious!