After Spike and Shred, and fracturing my foot, I was out of the game for a little bit and was wondering what it's all for. For 6 years I've played this sport, gotten minimal credit from those outside of the scene, even less respect, and have proved nothing to myself besides the fact that I can take large blocks of time away from my friends and girlfriend without a second thought in the world. I've maintained that this sport is the hardest thing I've ever tried (difficulty and wear on your body) and have witnessed mid teens arounds the world talking about aching joints and medical terms that should be illegal for them to even know. At one point I almost hated the sport for its inexcusable ability to draw teens into a no win situation, gobble them up, and spit them out a crippled and less motivated mess. It was at this point that I was just about to hold my own fairly large tournament and perform multiple demos for a large company iching for kids to sponsor. I had everything I wanted all those years ago, but nothing I wanted now. I didn't even care about it. I felt obligated to the sport, to keep my game up for the month that the tournament and demos were going on. I had a blast with my friends and exposed footbag to a few new people. But my game was empty and I would've much rather just been hanging out than kicking that damn bag.
I honestly think (and this is a bold statement but I'm making it) that for a moderate point in time, I was the hardest working footbagger on the planet. I ran and hit the gym every morning, then went to classes, and played footbag for hours at night. Taking only one day a week to rest. I regulated my diet for peak performance and meticulously planned drills, shred30s, and any way I thought I could improve myself and my game. I saw huge improvements and kept a steady pace in training with the belief that everyday I HAVE to do something that improves myself for the next day to come. I honestly thought that with enough hardwork, I could be a finalist in the '07 worlds. I thought anyone that wants it could do it. Sure there are Vasek Kloudas, out there born to do this. That just meant I had to work that much hard......But injury never does pick a good time to join the party does it? It was all for nothing in the long run. Sitting on my ass for a month doesn't really maintain all the hard work I put in.
It didn't take long after all my obligations were met that depression would set in. I didn't play footbag for about a month and I didn't workout much either. I mostly played a lot of video games and was pissed at myself for not putting my time into basketball like my dad always said I should, or school or something else "worthwhile." And really doubting that I was worthwhile in general and not just another drone walking through life.
I don't really believe in fate or good luck or anything beyond random events going your way and hardwork paying off, but what happened next might as well have been all those things. A friend of mine contacted me, saying that she saw her old elementary school principal and they somehow got to talking about how he was looking for a fresh act for an assembly that can show kids the joy of being active and teach them a lesson. She naturally dropped my name and a few online videos and I was offered the gig. I almost turned it down on the spot. "What the hell can I teach elementary school kids?" I thought, still feeling pretty worthless. My whole world just crashed around me. I was living proof that hard work does NOT pay off and that not everyone can do anything they want. My dreams of world championships fell and I knew that my body physically cannot maintain a level of play higher than what I've already achieved. There are Vasek Klouda's in this world and there are bow-legged, pigeon-toed, bums that are too tall and skinny to do PS whirls with ease. And the world really doesn't allow ANYONE to do ANYTHING they want, no matter how hard they work. I can't tell that to a little kid that still has all the potential in the world. That's when it hit me...
Maybe I don't have to be the best. Maybe it's not about work and competition and struggle. Maybe this whole life thing is just about making yourself happy. So that's what I did. I saw my girlfriend when I wanted. I went out on the town when I wanted. I went rock climbing on the spur of a moment when my roommate asked if I was up for it. I even played a little footbag just because I wanted to. And you know what? I couldn't have been happier. Back when I was training, if someone asked "Hey let's go play basketball in like 10 minutes" I'd never be able to just be like "...ok!" It was glorious. I finally figured out that THIS....having fun and being in the company of great people is what I want to do. And the world is allowing me to do it. So here I am, madly in love with one hell of a girl, surrounded by the best people I've ever met, working a great intership that's catapulting me to a career, and walking through my day with a constant ear-to-ear smile. I'd say it's an accomplishment to brag about.
I'm having a great time playing footbag now, and may just be at the top of my game (hit nemesis 2 days ago). I think (and this applies to pretty much everything, not just footbag) that when you focus on pleasing other people and not just doing it for yourself. Things get really unnecessarily complicated. And it was really a step forward when I figured that out. I wasn't skooling inspinning because it's a hole in my game. I was busting fusion>fury because it's fun as hell. And it was making me happy too. You can call it what you want: maturing, quitting, etc. But I take comfort in the fact that I'm looking toward my future and focusing on my school, job, and friends. I even have a little side project from work that hopefully will help me out financially in the future
but we'll see. I guess what I'm saying is I'm having a blast with life right now. I'm still tring to improve with footbag. And I'm experimenting with some new exercises as well as glucosamineto and other joint health supplements to hopefully make my knee almost a shadow of it's former self. But you won't see me competing anymore. At least not anytime soon. I'll always leave the option open. Oh and I will be taking that gig for the elementary school kids. I think I'll have some good things to say.I won't go into specifics but I definitely have to thank my friends (footbag and non) for putting up with me and helping me through some dark times. If it wasn't for your support, constant enthusiasm, and overall quality of companionship my worst nightmares may have come true. And my motivation toward self-actualization would have ceased. Thanks everyone for talking, listening, and even reading this post. It means more than you know.
