Peng - getting new muscles

Pengu · Post by **Pengu** » 19 Nov 2006 08:44

Yesterday was one of the most fun days I've had in awhile. I woke up and wrote some of my paper and by noon, I felt like I had accomplished enough to deserve a little fun.

Tom came with me to the magic tournament at 1pm. It was his first tournament and he really enjoyed it! It was an extended multiplayer tournament. Neither one of us did very well. I ended up getting stormed with an infinite combo in both games. I think Tom had that happen to him in one of his games. We left with some of the goodies that they gave us, as well as a big 5000 card box that Tom bought me. I went home and proceeded to reorganize my collection.

After magic, we called up Derrick to play some footbag. We were all ready to go, but then I unlocked my bike to find it had been kicked in. The wheel is junk now, but I think that's the only part of the bike that needs to be replaced. I'm a little sad that my little beater bike can't be ridden to school anymore, but at least Red Hot Cherry Popper gets to come out to play until Beater gets fixed.

Tom carried Cougar downstairs for me to ride to the shred spot. It's a chopper, and really inefficient and hard to change gears on. I had a hell of a time trying to get where I wanted to go.

We played some footbag. I drilled a little bit, but then got hungry and slightly cranky. I got dressed and allowed my brain to run wild on how I will go about reorganizing my cards. I filmed Derrick and Tom playing. Nothing spectacular happened. Tom beat his osis record to 73. I have a cute clip of them trying to do doubles and almost kicking each other in the nads.

The rest of the evening involved burgers, organizing magic cards, and the vapourizer and ended early because Tom has work today at 8am.

I really needed a day like yesterday. I've been so bogged down with work.

Pengu · Post by **Pengu** » 08 Dec 2006 11:14

I should get an additional ADD for being ADD.

Exam in 4hrs, 49 mins and counting. Procrastinate: 5 mins. Can't stand the library anymore. Must find quiet spot devoid of the aura of stress and panic. What ever happened to my little, private, secluded retard room on campus?

Pengu · Post by **Pengu** » 09 Dec 2006 09:27

Wasabi · Post by **Wasabi** » 09 Dec 2006 14:58

Cheer up, Pengpeng!

Pengu · Post by **Pengu** » 10 Dec 2006 20:31

For anyone who read the drama yesterday before it was edited, here's the jist of the situation.

I got blamed for making an assumption. It was an incorrect assumption, but nothing I had any control over. I made the assumption because it was what I felt was best. Tom seemed to feel his original decision before I changed it for him was right but I know it's not because his decision would have been worst and wouldn't have worked either. On top of that, the whole thing took away something that was supposed to be mine in the first place and got chewed out and told I was greedy.

The whole situation leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I already had a beef about some things and this just amplified the problem. I'm not going to NYJ. I'm sure someone else would take my seat and be more appreciative of it than I am. I'll attend another time.

Footbag's been more fun lately. Drilled a bunch today. Chopped up a pair of running shoes last night.

Pengu · Post by **Pengu** » 20 Dec 2006 22:09

A time to reflect on the past year:

Maybe it was just all stress, but I was feeling the most insecure I've ever felt in my life. Insecurity is a sucky feeling isn't it? I'm glad Tom put up with me and gave me so much reassurance. I'm a crybaby, but somehow Tom's loved me through our 1+ year relationship and those gallons of tears (yes, I cry for commercials sometimes). I met and lusted for Tom last September and got introduced to the wonderful world of footbag. We fell in love, we moved in together, we had a really rough patch and some complications, we've staved off the complications and rough patch and I feel closer to Tom than ever now. He's seen the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of me and he accepts it all. I love him and all of his faults as well.

I watched the Zocha Jam video of doubles routines which really made me want to make Tom learn to do doubles with me. I think we'd be cute. We could do it to Parentheses.

I told my folks about Worlds and how I'd like to go next year and they were not opposed to it in any way. I love how supportive my parents are. My mom even joined me for a little footbag tonight and hit some toe stalls. I've fucked up a lot in my life, and I was a pain-in-the-ass teenager, but my parents always picked me back up and told me that I could still do anything. I really love my parents. I want to support them now that I suck so much less. Seeing my daddy in emerge recently was really scary. I couldn't imagine my life without them. It's why I won't be going to NYJ this year like I had originally hoped. I'm sticking close to the family that really misses me and needs me around.

I handed in my last project for the semester today... well... more like Tom rushed to hand it in for me so I could rush home to be with my parents in their time of need. It feels like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I played for an hour today. My cold hasn't cleared up all the way yet, so my lungs leave me out of breath sometimes still so it was mostly short strings and what my stamina could stand. I'm breaking my personal bests left and right these days. Imagine when I have full lung capacity! I'm excited. I hope to get well soon. Lots of chicken soup. I can't wait to shred with some people, but I'm still pretty nasty and infectious and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone... except Tom because he gave it to me.

Life seems to be on the up and up. I hope to start on a clean, refreshed, and revitalized slate come the new year. All I want for Christmas is a happy and healthy 2007 for me and everyone dear to me... and maybe a Tom under 'Mistletoe'.

:edit: One more thing I want, but no mere mortal seems to be able to get me.

Dear Santa,

If you're reading this, then can you please have your elves make me a pair of footbag shoes that really fit? I've been mostly good or at least had good intentions. I worked hard at school and I only skipped a handful of classes. I didn't even terrorize the cat much!

Love,
~Pengpeng

mosher · Post by **mosher** » 20 Dec 2006 22:18

What a great post!

Thanks for being such a great girlfriend.

I am glad you're enjoying footbag more, I really like sharing this passion with you.

See you ASAP!

I love you!

Pengu · Post by **Pengu** » 21 Dec 2006 19:49

No wonder gluttony is a sin.

Pengu · Post by **Pengu** » 26 Dec 2006 22:53

I can't sleep. It's been a tumultuous, roller-coaster of emotions the past 2 weeks for me. Last Thursday, I was told that my dad was admitted to the hospital. My mom lied to me and told me it wasn't serious so I wouldn't stress out on my exams.

When I rushed back as soon as I could from Kingston to Toronto, I found out the full situation of my dad. He had severe hemorraging and lost a lot of blood. The doctors say that if he hadn't collapsed in emerge, that his blood pressure was so low that there would have been lack of oxygen to the brain and he would have suffered brain damage or worse, died. He was in the hospital for 5 days before being released. My dad was so feeble when he got back home and it was so scary.

I haven't been able to really talk to anyone about how I feel. I'm so anxious and worried all the time that all this may happen again. To this point, they haven't pinpointed what exactly was wrong, which also means that we aren't sure how to prevent it from happening again. My parents recently moved from my old neighbourhood and I don't really know anyone I can talk to in this new area. I'm driving my dad to a slew of appointments where he undergoes a barrage of tests with lots of needles and screening machines and other things I don't understand. I am so scared about his health, but I feel like I need to be strong for my mom. Up to this point, I've been telling everyone that my dad has been given a clean bill of health and that he's alright. I guess I've just been trying to convince myself of that. I need to be strong for my mom. I can see the fear in her eyes whenever a fax comes in with more test results from the doctors. We aren't sure that this won't happen again and without any idea of the cause, there's no sure way to know that it won't. The next time may not be so lucky. I want there to not be a next time, but it's so frustrating to be in limbo without a cause. They suspect it may be the low-dose aspirin he takes everyday that prevents his blood from clotting. When my mom talks to family friends about it, I keep hearing of people who died of severe hemorraging.

I don't know where else to turn. I can't sleep right now. I cry myself to sleep every night in a pillow so my mom doesn't have to worry about me too. I can't even think about what if my dad did die. I feel so much guilt for not rushing home as soon as I heard on Thursday. I'm only 21, I shouldn't have to worry about my dad's mortality yet. I'm not ready for it.

My dad's looking better, although he gets tired really easy still. We're waiting for a bunch of blood test results next week to show if his blood functions have returned to normal. No more aspirin, that's for sure. No more limbo soon I hope and that they tell us that this will most likely never happen again if we did this, this, and this. I need answers. I need hugs.

ObArA'BaRs · Post by **ObArA'BaRs** » 27 Dec 2006 12:28

are you coming to NYJ?

C-Fan · Post by **C-Fan** » 27 Dec 2006 13:25

Pengu wrote: My mom lied to me and told me it wasn't serious so I wouldn't stress out on my exams.
.

My folks did that to me once too. It sucks, but you sort of understand why they do it. Coming to grips with your parents mortality is a very hard thing, but you should feel lucky you have the chance to spend time with them. If your dad had dropped dead without warning, it would have been harder.

A couple years ago I had a similar situation, where I gave my dad the heimlich maneuver. After that day, I realized how important it is to appreciate your folks and not sweat the small stuff.

Good luck with everything Peng.

Wasabi · Post by **Wasabi** » 27 Dec 2006 18:27

Hang in there, Pengpeng.

mosher · Post by **mosher** » 27 Dec 2006 20:37

I just drove to Markham to see her and give her a hug.

It was nice seeing you baby, stay strong.

i love you!

Pengu · Post by **Pengu** » 29 Dec 2006 21:51

Thanks guys. Today seems to have been the longest day of my life. The test result for daddy we've all been waiting for should appear sometime tomorrow. We're counting the minutes to breathe our sigh of relief hopefully.

To try to pass the time, I played some footbag. I really hurt myself today though. So much so that I had to go to the hospital to get an x-ray. Like I haven't seen enough of hospitals recently already.

My ankle is pretty fucked up and swollen. I fell really weird on it and I'm not supposed to play footbag for awhile. It's really frustrating. I'm thinking I may quit footbag at this point. My shoes don't fit and it was the reason I slipped today. The shoe basically slipped off and I landed on the side of the shoe instead of the sole.

I've looked everywhere for shoes that fit. Unlike everyone else who know that Lavers, G-Unit G6 1's, Climacool 1's & 3's will work for footbag, I've already exhausted all means of obtaining shoes that fit me within those realms. I'm sick of hurting myself because of ill-fitting shoes. They simply don't make shoes in my size.

I think I'm going to stop spending money on futile efforts for footbag shoes and spend that money on fierce heels again. At least heels make me feel tall and not small and forgotten.

mc · Post by mc » 30 Dec 2006 09:18

I wish you didn't feel forgotten. I want you to know you're not.

sorry your shoe quest has been so frustrating... have you thought of doubling your insoles to make shoes tighter?

I'm sorry you're hurt. I hope you'll get better soon and give another shot at kicking.

I send you my warmest wishes for your dad's recovery. I wish I could send you more. It pains me to know you're so bent out of shape because of it (and not without good reason).

Hope to see you next time I come north. get well soon.

beenjammin · Post by **beenjammin** » 30 Dec 2006 21:58

Your making me cry peng I dont like hearing you talk like this. I can relate to what your saying though. Think of taking a break from footbag rather than quitting altogether. Ever considered playing barefoot? Its really fun!

mosher · Post by **mosher** » 01 Jan 2007 06:32

Hey baby,

Things will sort themselves out, I have a feeling you'll be back at it in no time.

At least you finally found some shoes that fit!!!

I was sad to hear that you hurt yourself from hackybag, it does that sometimes.

We are going to hang out today and I will do my best to make you feel better, you've had a long hard sucky christmas break and that's unfair.

See you soon cutie!

tomtom

Wasabi · Post by **Wasabi** » 03 Jan 2007 19:29

My best wishes go to you and your family. I've had those feelings of being powerless to help in any way, especially when my dad had to undergo surgery for his thyroid. Stay strong is all I can say.

I sprained my ankle on the side of my foot as well. It has taken me a long time to recover, about a month or more. It will get frustrating to walk or even think about footbag, but try to keep the faith.

Way back, I found a whole variety kid's sized G-units G6 I, size 3-6 I believe, but I remember you wanted a pair of footbag shoes that looked clean after modding. Modded leather sneakers don't look clean at all. I think the store that I found them in still has them available, but that's about it. I'll see what I can do.

You have us to help support you (Tom most of all). I don't want you to be left forgotten in both footbag and as a friend.

W.

Pengu · Post by **Pengu** » 03 Jan 2007 20:41

Thanks Waylon, and everyone else.

It's just been so shitty here this holiday season. But things seem to be getting better. We got test results back saying my dad's blood functions are returning to normal so now he's just staying home and resting to recoup. He's also been given the green light to drive again, which means I'm not the chauffer anymore and I won't have to worry when I move back to school for my last semester.

My marks came back for last semester. It was the best semester I've EVER had, despite it being the first full courseload semester since my first year. I hope to keep this up because at this rate, I can finally graduate. My new year's resolution will stay the same as last year's, which is to go to class.

I also found these when I was at the mall:

In a size 2.5 kids. Waylon, thanks for being on the lookout, but those shoes would have been too big still. I have tiny feet.

I'm hurt and I don't really know what I think about footbag at this point. I'm trying to figure out if it's something I really want to do or if it's something I do for the sake of Tom. I don't want it to be the latter, so I am currently undecided about continuing. I guess I have my whole injury to think it over.

My mom took me to this beautiful shoe store for women with petite feet like me. I was in awe and in love. I fell in love with a $700 pair of pumps. I really need to find a glamorous job so I can tell myself I need something like this:

mosher · Post by **mosher** » 03 Jan 2007 23:13

Peng, you're so special and smart and stuff, I like you.

I am heading to bed so that I can wake up and welcome you back to Kingston with a big smile and hug and kiss. I can't wait!

I have all of tomorrow off so we can play and be hermits together. Also, tomorrow night is the first KFM meeting of the final semester!!

Are you still too busted to play?

At least you have shoes that fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They are here in Kingston safe and sound and ready to be strapped to your itty bitty feet as soon as your ankle isn't gay anymore.

I guess I can just say all this to you tomorrow when you get here.

Anycase, Ive been thinking alot about you, miss you baby.

See you tomorrow!