Fear of death.

Switch Kicker · Post by **Switch Kicker** » 05 Jan 2007 06:06

Brad_R wrote:I was once suffering from depression, and as a repercussion of the disorder I was awake for about 14 days straight (NO DRUGS). I don't do drugs. Anyway, after about the fifth day of being awake, I thought I was dying. I experienced blind fear. Stupifying fear. I couldn't think, all I could say was that I'm dying over and over again. It was a fucked up time. Now I'm quite messe up becuae of it. Everytime i lose a night of sleep, I go into shock. I don't believe that I'm dying, but I become very fearful of falling into that mind set. I become too stupid to learn anything in class, or to do homework. Life sucks and then you die. heh

Nah, life sucks, then the dying process is painful, and then you finally die. Unless you fly into another object at a very high speed, or lethal injection or something like that, lol. I'd rather have not lived at all then have to live through a painful death...

Drew · Post by **Drew** » 05 Jan 2007 12:00

I am afraid of death because after death there are no accomplishments or anything to be done(assumedly).

A fear of failure is what lies behind my fear of death..

james_dean · Post by **james_dean** » 07 Jan 2007 05:28

If you believe there is nothing after death, then fearing it is illogical.

When death is, you are not. When you are, death is not. Fearing it will just lower your quality of life for no reason.

setman · Post by **setman** » 09 Jan 2007 11:03

I am not afraid of Death, because i know in hell i met a lot of friends..
[/joking]

I'm not afraid that i'll die, but i'm afraid death, because i can lose somebody.

has anybody tried to commit suside ?

Switch Kicker · Post by **Switch Kicker** » 09 Jan 2007 19:22

setman wrote:I am not afraid of Death, because i know in hell i met a lot of friends..
[/joking]

I'm not afraid that i'll die, but i'm afraid death, because i can lose somebody.

has anybody tried to commit suside ?

Oh yes, it's one of my favorite passtimes... I do it everyday, but fail misserably... Along with my poor spelling skillz.

jrstubs · Post by **jrstubs** » 09 Feb 2007 09:49

Some people take the easy way out and commit suicide.

Switch Kicker · Post by **Switch Kicker** » 10 Feb 2007 11:03

Easy way out? I can only imagine that it's gotta be really fucking hard to bring yourself to pulling the trigger on a gun pointed at your head... I mean for chist's sake, I can't even point a weapon at someone else when it's on safety without knowing that that person is trying to kill me, let alone on myself.

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 10 Feb 2007 15:14

Yeah, that's what I was going to say, but didn't even bother. As someone myself who has gone into the woods with strong rope, and called 1800-SUICIDE at 4am in the morning, the only real pussy is you stubs

QuantumBalance · Post by **QuantumBalance** » 11 Feb 2007 02:04

THE SUICLIDE

It could be a fun slide where you die at the end.

YAY!

QuantumBalance · Post by **QuantumBalance** » 11 Feb 2007 02:06

Roller Ghoster

Langstaff · Post by **Langstaff** » 13 Feb 2007 22:05

QuantumBalance wrote:THE SUICLIDE

Hahaha, this is golden.

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 14 Feb 2007 06:44

A few years ago I was going out with a girl who had a lot of really serious problems. I don't know if I was in really in love with her then, or if my feelings now are based on what happened afterwards, but I certainly cared for her a lot. Eventually I realised that what she needed was not what I could give her and I broke up with her. From a completely rational point of view, I am almost certain that that was the right decision. "Almost" is a problem. A few months later when I was at work she called me up and essentially told me she was going to kill her self. I left work and went around and stopped her. She actually attacked me with a knife and I have a couple of scars from this incident. I took the knife off her, took her to a hospital, told some people who I thought cared for her (and I have no doubt that they did). A week later she stepped in front of a train and died. I don't know if people can comprehend what it feels like to feel that you are responsible for the death of a person who you love, but I felt so guilty for such a long time. I don't think I can express the guilt that this incident felt like. Nothing I did would get rid of it. I remember staying awake for 3 nights in a row writing constantly, and it didn't matter how many times I rationalised the events, or how well I understood what had happened and that I couldn't blame myself, it didn't change how I really felt. I probably spent about 8 months thinking about killing myself every day.

I'm glad that I didn't. There is still no way that I'm over that event, and I sometimes feel like I'm completely broken as a person because of it.

In fact I have never spoken about it to anybody who I know, apart from the psychologist I saw for a while until this year, and I've only just started talking about it because I'm really starting to see how much it has effected me. I am in love with this new girl now, but although rationally I can see what I should do, I guess I'm so scared that somehow I'll make her kill herself; which is totally irrational, and I know it, that I can't even look at her. Since this happened I've never had a relationship with a girl that I have had a strong emotional attachment to, and I don't know if I can.

So yeah, I think I understand what it's like to want to kill yourself. I am really glad that I didn't. In fact my response while this was going on was to play footbag for hours - to only think about footbag and to play until I was too tired to do anything else - that and do a lot of drugs.

I think we have to accept that the rational part of us plays only one role in what makes us do things, and our emotions are not rational at all. While we can aim to be strong willed and disciplined, we also need to understand and accept our emotions.

I don't believe that suicide is ever the answer. We are given such an amazing opportunity in being alive at all, and although we may face times of serious hardship, the fact that we experience anything at all is better than having no experience. If we are dead, we can gain nothing, if we are alive then we have millions of potential possibilities. Sometimes, when we have to suffer a great deal, nothingness can sound more appealing. In these times we need to disregard our emotions and think about it from an objective rational point of view. My life has improved unrecognisably since my contemplations of suicide and I am sure that anybody who considers suicide will be able to get through that part of their life. Suicide can definitely be a much easier choice than living with the consequences of what drives you to consider suicide, but easiest doesn't mean best. It is easier to watch footbag than to play, but how many of us decided that we'd rather be able to do what the people we saw were doing, than just to watch it? Would you rather not be able to play footbag at all, and just watch videos, or would you rather spend the time and energy you have put into playing footbag and be able to play? Learning to play footbag is much harder than not learning but don't we all agree that it's much more rewarding as well?

Not living is a lot easier than living, but we can gain so much from life, and nothing from death.

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 14 Feb 2007 06:47

Of course people who believe in life after death have a completely different philosophy on life. Despite the complete lack of evidence, they believe that if we live a good life following "God's" directions, our death will be better than our life. I think it is clear that rather than living life in a manner so that things will be better for us when we're dead, we should live our lives so that what we know exists is at its best. - We should aim to get us much out of life as we can, not as much out of death as we can.

bigdirtyfoot · Post by **bigdirtyfoot** » 14 Feb 2007 10:47

Jeremy wrote:We should aim to get us much out of life as we can, not as much out of death as we can.

Well put.

Langstaff · Post by **Langstaff** » 14 Feb 2007 13:14

Jeremy that is a very touchy story, I think it's really cool that you feel close enough to the footbag community to share something like that. Suicide is such a weird subject in my brain, I myself almost routinely go through times where I alienate myself from everybody around me and drop into a hugely suicidal state. I don't think that suicide is the right answer, ever, but nonetheless it's something that crosses my mind in some form almost daily. There have been a couple of suicides on my father's side of the family over the years, so I know the effect that it has on family and friends. I'm sorry to hear what happened to that friend of yours, I'm sure it's a horrible experience to feel as if you were the trigger of that... But I'm glad that you won over the suicidal temptations, just as I'm glad that I haven't gone through with ending my own life. Seriously, if anybody reading this thread ever feels like killing themselves, go kick the shit out of your footbag until your legs are incapable of movement. Things always work out eventually.

Switch Kicker · Post by **Switch Kicker** » 15 Feb 2007 08:29

I've never thought of suicide as in... commiting it. I've though of it in a, "What are my views on it." kind of way, and whatnot. But I've never seriously thought about doing it.

The most I've done is, well, think, "Jeeze, I wonder how hard it would be to pull the trigger on a gun aimed at my head." More like a perspective thought, no desire to do so, lol. I mean... I can't imagine that, I mean, I can imagine it would be really hard to do it... Have you ever seen John Q, or maybe it's just called Q. The movie with the dad trying to get his son a heart transplant and he goes into the hospital and starting holding hostages. They portray a pretty good imitation of what I think would be like if you were trying to shoot yourself... I don't know, it'd be hard.

This is a depressing subject.

However, what would it take for you to willingly walk to your death? Like, to save a loved one or something?

Langstaff · Post by **Langstaff** » 15 Feb 2007 08:43

I personally don't have a fear of death, or even the pain attributed to death. My main fear is the effect that it would have on my Mother, grandparents, brother, friends, girlfriend, etc. Because I don't really fear death, I think if it was between my life and someone's whom I love very much, I would certainly sacrifice myself. That movie Johnny Q was certainly one of the best movies I've seen in a while, I recommend it to everyone. Anywho, I must leave.

BuckRuckus · Post by **BuckRuckus** » 15 Feb 2007 14:27

Nothing in our universe ever dies. Nothing in our universe is ever born. To 'die' implies that from something, you turn into nothing. To be 'born' implies that from nothing, all of a sudden you become something. You can turn energy into matter. You can turn matter into energy. But you can't remove either from existence. Nor can you summon them into existence. All anyone or anyting can do is transform into something else.

I'm affraid of dying. I'm more affraid of transforming into something crappy.

Switch Kicker · Post by **Switch Kicker** » 16 Feb 2007 05:45

BuckRuckus wrote:Nothing in our universe ever dies. Nothing in our universe is ever born. To 'die' implies that from something, you turn into nothing. To be 'born' implies that from nothing, all of a sudden you become something. You can turn energy into matter. You can turn matter into energy. But you can't remove either from existence. Nor can you summon them into existence. All anyone or anyting can do is transform into something else.

I'm affraid of dying. I'm more affraid of transforming into something crappy.

I'm sorry, but that sounded kinda ignorant. We all know what dying means when someone says it, we didn't really need to put a technical spin on it.

But what ever.

BuckRuckus · Post by **BuckRuckus** » 16 Feb 2007 09:08

Well, such is my belief on the matter. It's hard to express it clearly in just a few sentences. And really, who among us isn't 'ignorant' about what really happens when we die.