Most embarrassing childhood memories

[The Actual Sized E]

The title is pretty self explanatory, just post some of the times you got really embarrassed as a child, the funnier the better. I'll get it started with a few.

This one is mostly just copied from and entry in the "Getting to Know the Community thread": So this took place sometime during third or fourth grade. I overheard some of the guys in my class talking about sneaking their dad's issue of sports illustrated swimsuit edition and bringing it to school. This was well before I had any interest in girls or anything like that so I had no idea that would be a cool thing to do until they mentioned it. Newly enlightened, I got home from school and cut out a bunch of little pictures of women in lingerie and swimsuits from some catalog, glued them onto red construction paper, and stapled it together like a book. The next day I brought my sexy creation to school and stuffed it in my desk to show to the guys later. I was notorious for having a messy desk, but that was something that was more or less your problem as a student, teachers rarely interfered. So it was very much to my surprise upon returning to class from a break to find my desk empty and the contents (homegrown swimsuit issue included) piled on top. This must have been around the time Who Framed Roger Rabbit came out, because I remember spending the rest of the day trying to explain to everybody how I had been framed. Haha, LAME! But pretty funny too.

This next one wasn't as embarrassing but it has a kind of funny twist. When I was 11 or 12 my mom had enrolled my younger sisters and I in this Chicago Park District summer camp program called "kid's night out" that took a group of kids out to a different event every other week. This week was a trip to see the Ringling Bros circus, so bunch of the kids from the neighborhood grouped up at my house to get picked up by the bus. I was killing time in front of my house with a small group when Valerie, a girl around my age who I mildly disliked, walked out from inside my house. The moment she did, this little douche ass brat, who I didn't even know, points at me and yells to her "he told me he likes you!" Asshole. So she just blushed and walked back inside, and then made googly eyes at me the rest of the night. It's pretty trivial, but it happened at that age when that kind of shit feels like the end of the world. So I did my best job of avoiding all contact with her for the rest of the summer, and it went well until I got an invitation to her birthday party, which happened to be a boy/girl party (OOOH.... ). I stuck to my method and ignored it completely. The night of the party I get a phone call from her asking if I'm coming out, I tell her I can't cause I staying over at one of my friends houses (which was true) and she yells into the phone, "Either come out or don't, JUST STOP PLAYING THESE LITTLE GAMES!" and then hangs up. Not long after that she babysat for my little sisters and they told me they caught her naked in my bed spitting on my pillow . Weird...... I actually ran into her a few years back and I still felt a little awkward. I think she was getting married or something, better him than me .

Ok, one more. This is probably my earliest embarrassing memory. I was pretty young and still adjusting to potty training. I managed to recognize the moment just before I'd have an accident and ran to the bathroom to do the deed like a big boy. I stood in front of the toilet, pulled my pants down, did an about face, and plop! I was wearing my favorite underwear then too, which had Superman, Batman, and Shazam (lol) on the ass, and the turd landed directly in the bucket they created at my feet. Right on superman's proud face, he wasn't invulnerable to that. I remember just standing there crying with this dookie hammock strung up between my ankles until my mom came and helped me. It must have been pretty traumatic for me then to be able to remember it this clearly now.

Ok, now it's your turn. Don't make me do this alone...

[Zeke]

When I was 11, my whole family flew back to the Philippines. It was my first time back since I had left in 1980. We stayed at my grandmothers house in Manila the first few days. There was a huge party one night and many of the family old friends and relatives came. From the beginning I noticed 2 girls around my age constantly looking my way and talking to each other. This had continued on well into the night. I was a bit uncomfortable at first but suddenly grew to like the attention. But of course, me being me I did nothing about it. Finally they came over my way. I must have felt pretty cool at the time, at least until they asked me very loudly , "Hey, aren't you the little kid that used to run around naked in the rain?"





I locked myself in the bedroom for the rest of the night.


I've repressed the more embarrassing memories deep, deep inside of me. No guarantee if they're ever resurface...

[CIC flurry]

In sixth grade, this girl liked me. She was kinda new to the school, and cute - and I must have liked her too. I'd been friends with girls a lot at this point - I never had that boys think girls are yucky phase, but this is the first time I was gonna formally ask someone out. I called her house to ask her to go to the movies with me and the group. The answering machine came on so I left a message saying she should come out to the movies. I get a call back from her father who starts YELLING at me, and swearing and calling me names. Real vile stuff. I was a really good kid too, and here this guy goes insinuating that i was a horrible person, threatening me- "I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS." I mean I'm in sixth grade! I'm not trying to defile his daughter.

That whole thing passed, and I never called again, but we still "hooked up" at school and she was my girlfriend and I was her boyfriend even though we didn't do much.

I don't feel like the phone thing was a big deal, but I feel strongly whenever I hear my friends say that they won't let boys near their daughters when they have kids. I know you have to protect your family, and I know that you know how boys think. But dating is natural - and must be handled with care. She's gonna do it anyway, you may as well have some control.

Also, thinking back I was probably nervous, but nothing major - I mean I made the phone call right? I feel like it wasn't a big deal, but I think I'd be much more anxious about making such a phone call nowadays. In fact that was the first and last time I asked someone out directly. (When written that way it does seem to be the direct effect, but I don't think it was the lone cause (if there was a cause in fact)). Good thing I'm so naturally beautiful and charismatic that girls ask me out - otherwise I'd be a 40 year old virgin some day.

By the way - I fucked her hardcore in her father's bed. Fuckin prick. He shouldn't've angered the sleeping beast inside me. This is not true

[mosher]

Okay, Ive got a girl related story too. I bet I will wind up having lots of things to add to this thread.

This one happened around grade 6 or 7 or so. My family used to go to Mt. Tremblant in Quebec every March break and we'd take ski lessons during that time. It was always an enjoyable time and I really took to the lessons, you would be in a group of 10 or so other kids of about the same skill level learning ski stuff.. you know, lessons.

Anyways, kids being kids on occasion some would wind up with crushes on eachother and even become 'couples'. That year I was so happy to find out that the cutest girl of all totally had a crush on me and we became flirty buddies. Though like.. this is 12 year olds so not even kissing was going on or anything.

So the end of the week comes and there was to be this end of lessons party award thingy for all the kids. Before it she invited me up to her room in her hotel, I was so excited to see this hot girl that totally liked me before we headed off to the event.

I get up to the room (I think I had a friend with me too) and her and her friend were in there hanging out. I don't remember much up until she told me she had something to tell me.... .. ..

She told me that the whole week she had been pretending and didn't really like me 'like that' and that she picked me because she thought I was someone that could take it.

My eyes welled up and all of me exploded with awful crushing emotion and I stormed off. I probably said some lame thing that a 12 year old with a broken heart would say as I put my shoes on. That walk away from her room is the clearest thing I remember of all the years of going to the resort. The pain in my chest was awful..

So yeah, that's when I learned that girls are stupid bitches.

[TayChaint]

hey! i went to Mt. Tremblant, that's the only place i've ever skiied because they didn't have snowboards there to rent

I only kind of remember this memory but whatever. When i was three my family went to Washington do go to all of the museums and whatnot. i was really excited because there was this really awesome dinosaur museum there that my parents and brothers had gotten me really excited to see. The only problem was that we had to see all of the other museums first. At this time the Holocaust memorial was brand new and so after seeing many many museums, my family went and waited in line for like an hour to see the brand new Holocaust memorial, which was a very serious museum...

anyways, so we finally get into the museum but by this time, i was really bored and i REALLY wanted to see the dinosaurs. So while we're inside this very emotional, quiet and serious place i yell out "when are we gonna see the dinosaurs???":oops:

Luckily the people in the building had a sense of humor and started cracking up.

[sniper4life]

I dunno if this was embarrassing at the time it happened because it's my first memory and is more of an image. When I was two (I think) and I was at a day care or something, but I had to take a crap and so I decided to go into the bathroom. These were regular sized toilets and I'm some small kid. It didnt end up so good. I was to small to fit on it so I fell in. lmao. After that I remember nothing, but it must have sucked for me to remember it happening.

[PegLegHolly]

lol dinosaurs rule!

ive got a ton of embarrassing stories (the majority of them are r rated, so they wont be posted)

in third grade i was made fun of a lot... actually throughout grade school i was the tom-boy that everyone liked to piss off. we had this adventure day once a month, and on this particular adventure day we got to put on a bubble suit (like the one in Bubble Boy). i sat quietly all day till i got the chance to get in the bubble suit, and when i finally got in it this bully girl called me a dyke (had no idea what it meant) so i cried and pissed myself. there was this puddle of yellow liquid in the bottom and when i tried to get out of the bubble i fell over and landed in my own pee.

in sixth grade i got into football a little. i wanted to join the little league team but my mom told me i needed to be a lady and stop being a tom-boy. so at recess one day i went to the football field and stood in the line of boys waiting to get picked for a team. one of the captains (adam zacola) was a huge asshole. i got picked last onto the team that was going against adam's. at some point during the game, someone FINALLY threw me the football... this was a huge moment for me because in my entire elementary career i never had the ball. i ran like hell. i can still remember it in slow motion, seeing the look on his face when i got 20 yards from the goal... and turning to face forward to finally show these boys i could do it. i made the touchdown. i was jumping and laughing... this being my first touchdown. i turned around and saw adam kneeling on the ground below me... wondering what the hell he was doing. then he pulled down my pants, pointed, and laughed. everyone was laughing. i didnt go to school for a week after that. adam zacola is now some hot shot college football player.


and im gonna tell an embarrassing story of my twin, because it has to do with reile's sort of.
my twin brought nudie pictures of sable, the wrestler, and sold them for 2 bucks each. he made 50 bucks in like a week. the monday after that, some kid got caught masterbating in the bathroom to a sable picture and ratted out my brother. bwahahahaha

[dp]

This happened about 4-5 years ago. I was talking to this girl I liked on instant messenger but it was some weird type I'd never used before. My friend was over at my house. So me and this girl had a very long very in depth conversation and it was great and she had to leave so we said our goodbyes and she signed off. I knew she was leaving, but somehow, I think I was getting some sodas or something, I never actually saw the "so and so has now signed off" message appear.

So my friend continues talking to "her" as me saying extremely sexually explicit things, (I don't remember them exactly but they were probably stuff like "i wanna kiss yoooo" and "i love you", however I remember them as very sexually explicit) and I found out. I freaked out and signed off but then he told me that she had signed off.

*phew*

Right?

Wrong. I got on instant messenger the next day and one of my other friends had apparently messaged me while I was signed off. The messages still appear, they're just delayed until the person signs back on. I immediately freaked out. "She's gonna see those messages!"

The next 4-5 times I saw her I was really nervous but I never mentioned anything about it just in case she never saw the messages. Me and her are still friends today so whatever my friend wrote couldn'tve been so bad I guess.

[The Actual Sized E]

in third grade i was made fun of a lot... actually throughout grade school i was the tom-boy that everyone liked to piss off. we had this adventure day once a month, and on this particular adventure day we got to put on a bubble suit (like the one in Bubble Boy). i sat quietly all day till i got the chance to get in the bubble suit, and when i finally got in it this bully girl called me a dyke (had no idea what it meant) so i cried and pissed myself. there was this puddle of yellow liquid in the bottom and when i tried to get out of the bubble i fell over and landed in my own pee.

That's hilarious, it must have been terribly embarrassing though

Your football story reminded me of one I had forgotten. I was in 6th grade, playing a game of Nerf footbag during recess. No one was using the basketball courts so we just played on them. I caught a pass and started bolting down the sideline. I was pretty fast as a kid so I blew by everyone and had an easy touchdown in front of me. I looked back to start clowning the guys chasing me and didn't realize that I started drifting out of bounds. All of a sudden WHAM! While looking back and being an ass I ran full speed into the pole of the basketball hoop. Both of my legs and arms went forward on either side of the pole like in the cartoons, the ball went flying and I was just short of the endzone. Somehow, I didn't get injured though

[PegLegHolly]

lol reile.

i spelled footbag instead of football a couple times in my post too but caught it.

[King Monkey]

heheh i love how you wrote Nerf footbag instead of 'football'. I do stuff like that all the time.

[Switch Kicker]

First thing that comes to mind when I see this thread...

I walked straight into a steel support beam at Wal-Mart in November last year while bluntly staring at an attractive girl. She didn't look my way until a millisecond before it happened. It was a hard hit too... I smacked into the floor after. I crawled (out of sight) up a few isles, got up, ran to the bathrooms in the back to make sure I wasn't cut or bleeding anywhere. Then made my way to the electronics to check out the movies. Saw her again at the checkout, when she looked, I just smirked. Then realized that I know the girl, and then decided I didn't like her. She was a prissy girl when she was in highschool, and I wasn't too eager to see if she was any different yet.

[jrstubs]

This is not true

[Switch Kicker]

This is not true

[HG]

So its 3rd grade, and my class went on a trip to a museum.


Me and a buddy were walking around, and i accidentally touched a girls butt! Oh my god. We ran away and we talked about what we were going to do about it. The whole time i avoided the girl and had that terrible feeling in my stomach like Oppenheimer just had a hayday in my bowels. We talked it over and we came up with a genius plan! We were going to tell everyone that i was double dog dared to do it, so i had no choice.

We go back to the group, expecting to get yelled at. And thats just what happened. Mostly just me, but my friend was there. I tried to explain my (fake) story, and this got me and the kid who dared me (haha) in detention.


I'm now good friends with that girl, so i guess the charm works, eh?

[C-Fan]

Great thread.

[Switch Kicker]

I accidentally got a hand full of some lady's breasts a few years ago... Again, at Wal-Mart. (I hate Wal-Mart now that I look back on all that crap that happenes to me there.) I was just leisurely walking up and down the isles. And whenever I would make the u-turn to go down the next isle, I would grab the end of the isle and let my body fall the outside and kinda... swing around the isle, lol. (I was really bored...) Anywho, I wasn't watching where I was going, and I smacked right into a woman in her twenties (She wasn't bad looking either.), and my reflexes told my hands, to move upwards, to block myself from smacking into whatever it was that wasin front of me (Which was the lady.), and so.. thanks to the great reflexes of the human body, I ended up getting a hand full of some stranger's breasts...

I jumped back surprised as hell, apologized, turned and sped down the isle, and I could feel the blood rushing to my face. I was so embarrassed. I've been BENT, on respecting women my entire life... On an almost unnecessary level, so that left a really shitty feeling in my stomach for few hours. Felt like dirt. This was about a year ago. I told my gf later that day and she just laughed. But I was still embarrassed about it. Still am whenever it comes to mind.

[Slowsis]

When I was 7 or 8 I went of my first overnight camp with my cub (scouts for young kids) group. I was really afraid to go to the washroom, because the hallway was dark (it wasn't tent camping btw) and instead I pooped in a drawer and blamed it on the retarded kid.

[Frank_Sinatra]

LMAO

[HG]

oh my god i just laughed so hard adam. classic! blame it on the retarded kid