Wake-up call

mizua_r · Post by **mizua_r** » 18 Apr 2007 05:50

I recently got a wake-up call from a friend about the internet. A girl-friend came to me and asked me to look up a guy's record for sexual offences. When I asked her why, she informed me that she had been having an online relationship with a guy, but had not been sharing information. When he recently asked for her address and age, she got suspicious and came to me. As a result, she told me everything that was said, and apparently the guy used some really cliche lines on her, and found out where she lives. When he showed up at her house, she saw that he wasn't seventeen like he had claimed, and wouldn't answer the door. I'm currently trying to decide if I should talk to her Mom or not. I know if i do, my friend won't talk to me and she'll be really mad, but I can't bring myself not to. Anybody got any ides? and no stupidity, please. This has me really worried.

pips · Post by **pips** » 18 Apr 2007 06:23

How old is your friend? That's pretty creepy. I would tell the mom and possibly even alert the cops. Would you rather have your friend get mad at you for a while or have her possibly get raped or worse?

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 18 Apr 2007 06:40

I would definitely tell somebody of authority. I would tell your friend first what you're going to do.

Who knows, she may hate you for the rest of your life, if that's what happens, you'd still be doing the right thing, and I would be confident that she'd understand that what you're doing is purely because you care about her.

There is no reason for this to be secret anyway. If he's a responsible and law abiding citizen, it won't matter if her parents, a teacher, your parents, the police, or even some kind of religious figure knows about it. If he's not, and he's preying on young girls, I would say that it is critical that people find out about it before any damage is done.

I would say this is a really serious issue, and the sooner you can take action the better.

There are tens of thousands of rapes per year in the US and many of them are also homicides.

The fact is that he lied about his age. Why would he do that if he's a responsible and law abiding person?

I'd be very suspicious and I think if you don't do anything, and then something happens to your friend, you'll feel responsible for it for the rest of your life, and the impact of that happening would be much much worse than you saying something, nothing happening and your friend not understanding and hating you.

Tell somebody today.

HighDemonslayer · Post by **HighDemonslayer** » 18 Apr 2007 07:12

There are tens of thousands of rapes per year in the US and many of them are also homicides.

This is true, but the worst possible outcome of this situation, would be for someone to use a gun to protect your friend.

As a reckless gun culture, we Americans needs to learn to be victims.

We need to accept vast increases in rapes, stabbings,homicides, armed robbery,and home invasions. (like the British and Aussies)

The state should have all the power, and if we behave correctly, and grovel for them to protect us, the they may decide we are worthy enough to be saved.

You or your friend should just call the cops, and get a restraining order. Let them handle it, nobody else is qualified.

Then , if something really bad happens to your friend, you can rest assured you did ALL that you could, and acted in correct European fashion.

Pardon my tangent, for spilling over from the other "hot topic", but Jeremy gave me a perfect opening, and these threads are related.

-n

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 18 Apr 2007 07:17

You really are a disgrace.

If you want to score points, fine, but doing so in this topic was really poor judgement.

Your argument is also a meaningless strawman argument. You don't score points attacking views that nobody actually holds. You just look silly.

jay7 · Post by **jay7** » 18 Apr 2007 08:30

I also agree with Jeremy. Every point spot on.

Highdemonslayer on the other hand, I do not follow whatsoever.

Do it.

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 18 Apr 2007 10:23

Honestly, in situations like these the police really can't do anything. Telling her mom probably would get the girl in trouble and maybe punished, but ditto, she really couldn't do anything. Tell your friend to stop talking to the guy immideatly and if he shows up again then to call the police, or better yet you, and go confront the situation with some kind of weapon. Tell her to familiarize herself with the kitchen knives too.

We need to accept vast increases in rapes, stabbings,homicides, armed robbery,and home invasions. (like the British and Aussies)

Is that a fact?

Splint · Post by **Splint** » 18 Apr 2007 10:51

Tell your friend to tell her mom. If you approach her about it the right way then you can avoid the whole thing about her getting mad about you. Explain her rape/murder options. If she refuses to tell her mom about it, then you tell mom. It's an honest mistake made by thousands of girls every day. No harm yet, but it's on it's way if she doesn't come clean about it.

mizua_r · Post by **mizua_r** » 18 Apr 2007 11:31

Thanks guys. I decided that not wanting her mad at me was not worth her getting raped or kidnapped. She knows why I didn't promise her I wouldn't tell any one. I'm going to talk to her and let her know about the results I found about the guy, and then i'm going to talk to her mom. Someone needs to know, and I can't just sit there and watch something bad happen. Plus, she needs to break off contact with the guy asap.

HighDemonslayer · Post by **HighDemonslayer** » 18 Apr 2007 13:58

Good, you did what you could. That guy is most likely a predator. If there is any way to identify that man, and inform some reliable adults you know, do it. If that weirdo is local, then the adults being pro-active on this could be really good.

note:

My comments are no more disgraceful than Jeremy starting the thread about the VT shooting, and using it for smug, bragging about how great Aussie's lack of self-defense is.

Advocating to take the last real "right" Americans have left, is no small thing to me.

I do feel kind of bad, using someone else's thread about a serious topic , kind of related to his dis-armament agenda. Sorry about that , Mizua.

-n

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 18 Apr 2007 17:20

To be clear, I think I started that topic because I think it's an incredible waste that people die in such a manner, and that it could have been prevented. If wanting to see people not die is an agenda, then yes, that's my agenda.

I think it's pretty significant that 2000 children in the US die from guns, 12 times more than the rest of the developed world put together.

HighDemonslayer · Post by **HighDemonslayer** » 19 Apr 2007 12:27

To be clear, I think I started that topic because I think it's an incredible waste that people die in such a manner, and that it could have been prevented. If wanting to see people not die is an agenda, then yes, that's my agenda.

I think it's pretty significant that 2000 children in the US die from guns, 12 times more than the rest of the developed world put together.

-----------------------

That is clear, ill tack that onto my next post in the other thread and get out of this one.

-n

PegLegHolly · Post by **PegLegHolly** » 19 Apr 2007 13:09

Becca, I'm glad you made that decision. I'm even curious to hear what you found out about the guy.

Have you seen that TV show where they catch people going to the kids house? What they do is set up a time for them to show up... then when the suspect shows up (most of the time with beer) they question the offender and take them to jail.

Telling the authorities is the right thing to do... not just telling the mother. That man might go to another girls' house and maybe that girl won't be smart enough to think things through.

Even if she ended up letting the guy in, and having an okay time doing nothing explicit, there is still a chance that that person could take advantage of her other than sexually.

I dated a guy once that told me lies about himself. I was 18, and he was 23. Nothing he told me was true other than his name... and I got suckered into letting him stay the night. He ended up staying 2 months without a job and me trying to feed the two of us on 100 bucks every two weeks. I couldn't get him out. I ended up getting in fist fights with him, and he was twice the size of me. At the time I was afraid to go to the cops. Eventually I got up the courage and kicked his ass. (I'm not trying to sound like a hard-ass... I don't suggest doing it the way I did it. The situation went on a lot longer than it shoud have.) He followed me for a month or two after that. Then I got a call from a detective saying that the boy and robbed his exgirlfriends house and I had to testify against him in court. This scared me, but the end result is hes in jail and I have nothing to worry about. This little story is actually a lot worse than I'm making it sound... but it'd be too personal if i said more.

I guess the reason why I posted that is because people can seem to be nice and together as a front... but sometimes what you think you know is far from what's the truth.

I would tell your friend what you plan to do. Then you and her sit down with her mom and tell her what happened. Then you, her, and her mom go to the police together. There is no telling what this guy could do if you let him slip by. It's a very very very serious issue, and a big problem in society at large. Be careful, be aware, and be smart.