thanks everyone for the comments.
So I half wonder if people wont read this anymore because they wont be seeing any highlights, but I never posted highlights anyway and people read. Lol I should like bust out all these highlights from decemeber or something to throw people off.
So the past few days have been weird. I mean, cuz I cant be active, but also cuz of other shit. Some stuff that went down:
I had one of the best outings with a girl in a long long time. We went and ate cheesecake and then sat on a park bench and talked and it went great. I played the whole situation really well and walked away from the night with that really good feeling you get when you think the road of opportunity is in front of you. It was even better because the road I was on before that night was a kind of bummer one, so I thought I had just hit the best exit ramp. I hadn’t though. The next few days we didn’t talk and then when we did I had nothing to say and I think I screwed it up and now I don’t know what to do. Its weird, I am so good at sabotaging relations with girls because I go through these cycles where I feel like talking and then I don’t have anything to say a week later. I don’t know, this stems into another thought though that I was talking about tonight:
Pretty girls are bad for you. Every pretty girl you see makes the ugly ones seem that much more ugly and it just is a terrible cycle that makes you overlook girls that might be perfect for you. I hate that I limit my dating pool just by my stupid human nature of attraction. I figure its like, if you saw an ugly girl and no other ones youd be like omg this girl is slamming. Every better girl you see makes that one less and less. And its just like, stupid because I know there are a load of great girls out there but I cant force myself to be attracted to them can I? Idk its f’ed up and I think the media is to blame but also just like, how people are in general idk. The best society would be one where we all wear bags on our heads and the only things that matter is your body (because, physical nutrition is important and controllable) and what you say and think. I don’t know how well that would go over.
A lot of the days I really want a girlfriend but I would just screw it up if I had one so I guess I should just take a laid back approach and not go nuts about it and let the perfect chick come to me. Maybe.
My second event is that my friends mom died from cancer and yesterday I went to the wake and the church service. I really wish I had the energy to write everything I felt yesterday, and as I sat there in the church crying I just like, had a lot of self realizations which led to even more confusion. The main thing was that this mom was like, well, could’ve been my mom and nick (my friend) could’ve been me and its just such a damn relatable situation. And also they have this priest ya know, and hes telling nick and his dad and everyone that his mom is in heaven and is at peace and im just like, geeze man, the conviction you have to have to say that is huge. Like being a priest is such a hard thing you know. Cuz believing for yourself is fine and it’s a personal issue, but when you have to like, spread that onto others and be their support system, well, that’s a lot of faith, and I don’t know if its admirable or not. But I just cant frikken imagine how you deal with death if you think there is no afterlife and no like, soul being put to rest. Like man, then its just over and your screwed. I don’t know. I just hope my mom is around for a long time and I don’t take her for granted.
3rd issue is that I went to the guy who fits the back braces today and got one fitted. I get it Friday. So from Friday it is 6-8 weeks. Not from the 2 weeks ago when he told me to stop moving around. This brace is stupid as shit and I will look like a marshmallow at worlds. So poke me and put graham crackers and chocolate on me or something.
Ive been hanging out with people more lately. Saw 3 movies over the past 2 days. What the bleep do we know (which I already saw), tarnation (a wacko one), and transformers. They were all ok and the first 2 are very out there. I don’t feel like summarizing.
Kind of don’t know what to do with myself with all this free time. I know it is a gift in disguise but I just don’t know what to do with it. Merm.
Have a nice day.
dc
David
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QuantumBalance
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scott behmer
- Multidex Master
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- Location: seattle, wa, usa
so today i got my brace and its restricting as shit. it wasnt at first, but i cant even frikken bend down to get the needle i just dropped without making a frikken production out of it. and im like, constricted with breathing cuz the thing is so damn tight and i have a headache from that and im just like, so angry right now.
this injury is so frikken stupid. its stopping me from doing so much. from living you know? like im supposed to be doing this big gig at school in this arts fest thing and now i cant and scotts doing it and im happy scott gets to do it but it should be me and all my friends from college are texting me like "hey where are you?" and stuff and im frikken sitting at home in a brace for the next god knows how many weeks and its just so wack.
its not just the injury its the timing. worlds has fell through my fingers, my summer is shot, i cant be active. i dont have any desire to learn and instrument, and with this stupid brace i probably couldnt even put a guitar comfortably on my lap (the only instrument i have any desire to learn). its just so stupid.
i sat in the doctors office today while i waited for him to come in and give me my brace and i saw all these fake limbs and shit and i felt so lucky that i can at least still play after 2 months, but like, im so stuck in the now and the now frikken sucks. ugh. this weekend wouldve been amazing. $800 to play footbag, all my old friends. and i guess i couldve still went and chilled but i had these doctors appointments (one to get fitted for this thing, the next to actually get it) so that wouldnt of even worked and i cant sit in a car for a long time with this thing (even though im going to have to when i go to north carolina in a few weeks.)
and all i do is stitch and its so stupid. im making stuff so other people can play footbag, like, how depressing is that. but its the only way to keep busy and make up the money im probably losing from not working as much (i can only do 20 hours a week says doctor).
whatever, i just really needed to vent.
dc
this injury is so frikken stupid. its stopping me from doing so much. from living you know? like im supposed to be doing this big gig at school in this arts fest thing and now i cant and scotts doing it and im happy scott gets to do it but it should be me and all my friends from college are texting me like "hey where are you?" and stuff and im frikken sitting at home in a brace for the next god knows how many weeks and its just so wack.
its not just the injury its the timing. worlds has fell through my fingers, my summer is shot, i cant be active. i dont have any desire to learn and instrument, and with this stupid brace i probably couldnt even put a guitar comfortably on my lap (the only instrument i have any desire to learn). its just so stupid.
i sat in the doctors office today while i waited for him to come in and give me my brace and i saw all these fake limbs and shit and i felt so lucky that i can at least still play after 2 months, but like, im so stuck in the now and the now frikken sucks. ugh. this weekend wouldve been amazing. $800 to play footbag, all my old friends. and i guess i couldve still went and chilled but i had these doctors appointments (one to get fitted for this thing, the next to actually get it) so that wouldnt of even worked and i cant sit in a car for a long time with this thing (even though im going to have to when i go to north carolina in a few weeks.)
and all i do is stitch and its so stupid. im making stuff so other people can play footbag, like, how depressing is that. but its the only way to keep busy and make up the money im probably losing from not working as much (i can only do 20 hours a week says doctor).
whatever, i just really needed to vent.
dc
david
David,
Man I hate that you have to wear that. It must be horrible. Im sorry man.
Your already sick at footbag, and stitching, and I know thats not all your great at. You've sent me some art, I would buy a sketchbook or take a pottery class (and make some footbag art like i sent you) You could write some really good short stories or something. Your writing is amazing.
Don't waste the time by playing video games pleez.
Get a good massage?
Man I hate that you have to wear that. It must be horrible. Im sorry man.
Your already sick at footbag, and stitching, and I know thats not all your great at. You've sent me some art, I would buy a sketchbook or take a pottery class (and make some footbag art like i sent you) You could write some really good short stories or something. Your writing is amazing.
Don't waste the time by playing video games pleez.
Get a good massage?
Ashley Danowski
"As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well spent brings happy death."
"As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well spent brings happy death."
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Pyroman924
- Atomsmashasaurus Dex
- Posts: 944
- Joined: 03 Nov 2006 12:26
- Location: Raleigh, NC
Bad luck man. Sorry to hear about that. It'll be over soon and then you'll have an assload of pent-up energy to expend on Footbag or whatever you desire. Give me a shout whenever you come down to NC man.
Alan Underhill
http://www.myspace.com/pyroman924
"The more you drop, the better you get." -Ben Rinowski
http://www.myspace.com/pyroman924
"The more you drop, the better you get." -Ben Rinowski
i dont know why i wrote this.
on crowded street,
or empty lot,
to me its all the same,
the most serious of all my sports,
the most fun of my games.
on winter days,
or autumn nights,
i rekindle the inner light,
a fire that burns inside of me,
a battle of self and gravity.
on carpet floor or gravel road,
the story is once again retold,
a journey of the underground,
a blend of sight, of feel, and sound.
the air, an empty canvas,
my body, just a pen,
used to rewrite the story i begin to tell again.
the motions perfect, a moving science,
the bag and body is full compliance,
a fluid being on the street,
moving to an inner beat.
on crowded street,
or empty lot,
to me its all the same,
the most serious of all my sports,
the most fun of my games.
on winter days,
or autumn nights,
i rekindle the inner light,
a fire that burns inside of me,
a battle of self and gravity.
on carpet floor or gravel road,
the story is once again retold,
a journey of the underground,
a blend of sight, of feel, and sound.
the air, an empty canvas,
my body, just a pen,
used to rewrite the story i begin to tell again.
the motions perfect, a moving science,
the bag and body is full compliance,
a fluid being on the street,
moving to an inner beat.
david
-
full nelson
- 8-Bit Ninja
- Posts: 884
- Joined: 16 Jul 2003 13:58
- Location: West Virginia
- Contact:
Hi.
So I was thinking about whether countdowns are bad or not. They are in some instances, because they set goals when that goal may not be attainable. Like, you can count down to a date, but you can't countdown to a feeling or a state of mind or something unpredictable. Then your just setting yourself up for dissapointment when the countdown falls short of the goal. You know?
I say this because I am tempted to count the days until I can move again without this piece of plastic nestled between 2 shirts, tightly velcroed around me. 6-8 weeks is 42-56 days. So so far, I am 2/56, with 54 more days to go.
I would love to countdown to the date when I can break free from this physical and mental handicap but I feel like if I do I might just be setting myself up for defeat. What if my bones dont grow back as fast as other peoples? What if the fracture is deeper than they though, or what if I'm being too active (standing at work) and that decreases how fast I'll heal?
I'm not sure, but everytime I bend over and can't pick something up it reminds me of the plastic hell that encases me. My only refuge is when I'm sleeping (I don't wear it then). Oh how I now love to lay in my bed in the morning without the brace as the light falls on my facile covered floor.
So perhaps it is a curse to say, but I will anyway. 2 down, 54 to go.
dc
So I was thinking about whether countdowns are bad or not. They are in some instances, because they set goals when that goal may not be attainable. Like, you can count down to a date, but you can't countdown to a feeling or a state of mind or something unpredictable. Then your just setting yourself up for dissapointment when the countdown falls short of the goal. You know?
I say this because I am tempted to count the days until I can move again without this piece of plastic nestled between 2 shirts, tightly velcroed around me. 6-8 weeks is 42-56 days. So so far, I am 2/56, with 54 more days to go.
I would love to countdown to the date when I can break free from this physical and mental handicap but I feel like if I do I might just be setting myself up for defeat. What if my bones dont grow back as fast as other peoples? What if the fracture is deeper than they though, or what if I'm being too active (standing at work) and that decreases how fast I'll heal?
I'm not sure, but everytime I bend over and can't pick something up it reminds me of the plastic hell that encases me. My only refuge is when I'm sleeping (I don't wear it then). Oh how I now love to lay in my bed in the morning without the brace as the light falls on my facile covered floor.
So perhaps it is a curse to say, but I will anyway. 2 down, 54 to go.
dc
david
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QuantumBalance
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Zeb Jackson
- Post Master General
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- Location: Boise,Idaho, USA
so ive been researching your back problem for about 2 hours or so now trying to think or find a way that you could help heal your body faster without stress or anything. more or less all ive come up with is this...
cafe.com/rawfood.htm
http://www.webmd.com/video/healing-foods
these two are a good start i think, eating good raw food seems to be a really effective way to help your body heal faster, im not sure if this will help you, or maybe this is how you eat already, but i thought i would try and help
peace
cafe.com/rawfood.htm
http://www.webmd.com/video/healing-foods
these two are a good start i think, eating good raw food seems to be a really effective way to help your body heal faster, im not sure if this will help you, or maybe this is how you eat already, but i thought i would try and help
peace
-Zeb Jackson
http://www.elitefootbag.com
http://www.elitefootbag.com
I know for fractures taking calcium in medication can help a lot to heal faster. Just wanted to mention but it is probably mentionned in the link of Zeb.
What I really wanted to say is don't worry too much about you healing fast enough. I have been through many injuries and it is really depressing. Still at your age it should heal pretty fast moreso because your an athlete and in good shape. And usually working and being a little active should help because it activates your body musculation and blood circulation. Well of course if you don't overdo which your already aware of. Good luck.
What I really wanted to say is don't worry too much about you healing fast enough. I have been through many injuries and it is really depressing. Still at your age it should heal pretty fast moreso because your an athlete and in good shape. And usually working and being a little active should help because it activates your body musculation and blood circulation. Well of course if you don't overdo which your already aware of. Good luck.
i took off my brace. it feels nice. i sleep more so i dont have to wear it (i dont wear it in bed).
i type in lowercase when im flowing from my head. if you try to capitalize and spell everything right you get too caught up in the grammar and shit and its just not straight from you. just let it go you know? like, you dont have to apostrophe everything. right?
i know this girl who went to china and she was really cool. and i dont treat her as well as i should.
so i rented this movie called the corporation and its about business and marketing and shit in this century and it made me realize how messed up shit is and it really like, almost changed my life. i was like "man, i want to major in frikken brainwashing, like wtf is that shit" and i just flashed back to thatr girl sitting on the grass telling me i wasnt right for business. and im not.
i watch a lot of interesting documentaries latley
ok so now i WANT to tell you about one movie i watched called the secret and its supposed to be like this huge miracle worker and shit but it really isnt but it did say a lot of worthy stuff about positive thought and thats why i hate going over negative stuff because its not good for you. and maybe my current state is because i think negative a lot? idk.
i went to a bookstore today. bookstores bum me out because i want to read all the books but have no desire to. and even if i read them they would all contradict themselves and i would be even more confused than i am now.
i want to be positive. i want people to benefiet from me. i want to frikken, just like, not take up space. its so hard. its so hard not to be wasteful and to get the drive to go educate yoruself and find out the truth. but there is no truth, cuz theres always someone to tell you your wrong.
i want to do yoga.
someone told me to write down all the positive things in your life and that will put you in a good mood. i should. i will. it makes you realize how lucky you are.
Things in my life that are good:
- I am fairly healthy besides my back
- i can eat and drink whenever i want to
- my parents love me
- i have at least 3 solid friends.
- i am good at what i love
- i have a nice house
- i am good at stitching
- i dont have any debt
- 63% of people i meet like me
- i have really nice relatives
- i have a car
- i have no physical deformities
- i have all 4 limbs
ok. good. im lucky as shit. there is no reason to be down david. the world is your oyster!
alright. so now, there are ways to improve my happiness. my overall state. and i shoud start by not being such a frikken downer. i will be better in 2 months. i will return to footbag with a better outlook. i will go to school and try harder to find out what i want to do with life. i will value each minute more. or try to.
im going to bed.
dc
i type in lowercase when im flowing from my head. if you try to capitalize and spell everything right you get too caught up in the grammar and shit and its just not straight from you. just let it go you know? like, you dont have to apostrophe everything. right?
i know this girl who went to china and she was really cool. and i dont treat her as well as i should.
so i rented this movie called the corporation and its about business and marketing and shit in this century and it made me realize how messed up shit is and it really like, almost changed my life. i was like "man, i want to major in frikken brainwashing, like wtf is that shit" and i just flashed back to thatr girl sitting on the grass telling me i wasnt right for business. and im not.
i watch a lot of interesting documentaries latley
ok so now i WANT to tell you about one movie i watched called the secret and its supposed to be like this huge miracle worker and shit but it really isnt but it did say a lot of worthy stuff about positive thought and thats why i hate going over negative stuff because its not good for you. and maybe my current state is because i think negative a lot? idk.
i went to a bookstore today. bookstores bum me out because i want to read all the books but have no desire to. and even if i read them they would all contradict themselves and i would be even more confused than i am now.
i want to be positive. i want people to benefiet from me. i want to frikken, just like, not take up space. its so hard. its so hard not to be wasteful and to get the drive to go educate yoruself and find out the truth. but there is no truth, cuz theres always someone to tell you your wrong.
i want to do yoga.
someone told me to write down all the positive things in your life and that will put you in a good mood. i should. i will. it makes you realize how lucky you are.
Things in my life that are good:
- I am fairly healthy besides my back
- i can eat and drink whenever i want to
- my parents love me
- i have at least 3 solid friends.
- i am good at what i love
- i have a nice house
- i am good at stitching
- i dont have any debt
- 63% of people i meet like me
- i have really nice relatives
- i have a car
- i have no physical deformities
- i have all 4 limbs
ok. good. im lucky as shit. there is no reason to be down david. the world is your oyster!
alright. so now, there are ways to improve my happiness. my overall state. and i shoud start by not being such a frikken downer. i will be better in 2 months. i will return to footbag with a better outlook. i will go to school and try harder to find out what i want to do with life. i will value each minute more. or try to.
im going to bed.
dc
david
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QuantumBalance
- 100-Watt Warlock
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Given that we're the facebook generation, you might well have conducted this survey. Oh, what a world.david wrote:- 63% of people i meet like me
Don't worry about being confused or being correct. Only fools and fanatics are ever sure of any serious thing. Concentrate on knowing yourself first, then specialize. Try reading fiction.
Colin Kennedy
[email protected]
[email protected]
I read a lot of crap. Like non-fiction. Howstuffworks.com is where i spend a lot of time. I also read a lot of shit on Wikipedia. I like wikipedia but sometimes that shit is just wrong.
3 solid friends is all you need. Thats pretty much what i have 3 absolute best friends.
3 solid friends is all you need. Thats pretty much what i have 3 absolute best friends.
DAVID M. DAVIS
In life footbag is always there for you.
In life footbag is always there for you.