Okay, so im making a new post about this because it's kinda deep/i need to vent type of thing.
I know, i havnt done one of these in a long time.
Well...
Yesterday at work was pretty rough. for ya'll that dont know, i work for a landscaping company out here in nowheresville, USA. My boss is a dick and everyone else on the team is a dick excpet for one kid and a new girl. the other 8 are just complete assholes. Well, for a while i was jsut working on the lawn crew cutting grass, picking weeds, weed wacking, shit like that. Then as time went on i got really sick of picking weeds for 8 hours a day and i would get cranky by the end of the day and i would complain a little bit and say things like, "man, this sucks, i could be home footbagging." people would hear me obviously and i didnt think it would matter because everyone complained every so often. Thing is i think i was doing it a little bit mrore than most and around people i probably shouldnt have. Well after a few days my boss catches wind of it (which i didnt know at this point) And the next day i come into work and he's like "ben, your with these guys today." it was norval and brandon, the small bricking crew. So i was pretty happy because i had already met brndon and i knew he was a nice kid and i dint know about the norval guy but at least i wasnt with the other 8 jerks. For about two weeks i worked with them and everything was great, my boss even put me on part time! i was loving it! then without my knowledge my mom calls my boss (btw, they went out to the bar together a few times...Where's the smiley shooting himself in the head?) and she says, "Why isnt ben having more hours." APPARENTLY by this she didnt mean she wanted me to have more hours because she knew i didnt like having 40 hours a week. she just meant that she wanted to know if i was in trouble or something But of course my boss thinks oh well i have to put him back full time now. So i come into work the next day expecting to go home at like 1 PM or so but i stay there the entire day and i ask norval why and he's like, "well your mom called asking why you dont have more hours." and i was like, "OMG IM GOING TO KILL HER!" and so i talk to my mom and figure out that she didnt mean that she wanted me to work full days anymore, she just wanted to see why i was working less. and i told her, "Well the only way you can fix this is if you call dan (my boss) and clear things up." so apparently she calls him but i go in the next day and my boss says, "Ben, your back with these guys again." and points to the lawn crew. I was so pissed, i couldnt believe it. So for the past week i have been working full hours with the jerks and the harrasment was only getting worse. This one 19 year old kid thinks he's the shit because he's been working there for a year and a half (The most out of anyone there). So he's always sayingg shit like, "This aint so easy, huh?...not like working with norval you little bitch...little hard work that your used to, boy?" so i just suck it up and answer, "Yes, no, yes, no..." and so on but it bugs him that im not bothered so he continues it. Anyway, I go into work yesterday and im driving my car, i park it and get out, start cleaning the trucks like we do every morning and i met some new girl brandy (she will come into the story later). But the lawn crew leaves and dan called out everyones name to get in the lawsn truck except for me and i ask one of the lawn guys if he had said my name, just to recheck, but he said no so i just continued to clean the other truck. At this point it was just me, norval, brandon, and brandy back at the main barn. so i figured, "yes, im back on th norval and brandon!". I finished cleaning the truck and i get out and my boss was like, "Ben put the cleaning stuff away and drive your car over to ITT (one of the lawns we do) and jimmy with tell you what to start on." and i regretably said, "alright." so i get in my car, forgetting my lunch, drive away, thinking i know exactly where im going. Well i get to where i think i should have been but it was somwhere else and i had NO IDEA where ITT was. So at this point i start freaking out. My phone is on low battery, My boss probably left by now, and i dont know where the hell to go. So i just kinda sit there for a moment and im tearing up and then i just say "fuck it" and i turn around and head back for the barn. The whole entire time my chest was so tight and the stress level was through the roof. Im a person that has a VERY hard time dealing with stress and and anxiety so this was like the ultimate nightmare. I get back to the barn and pull in...ALL THREE of my bosses are standing there staring at me like...WTF are you doing back. THen my main boss comes over and he says, "Oh, your lunch is over there." And in my head im like, "what is he talking about...oh, i left my lunch here! i'll just use that as an excuse!!!!" i was so thrilled and said "ok" to my boss. and then it hit me...i still didnt know how to get to ITT! I grabbed my luch and ass my boss was walking away i said..."And uhhhh, i dont know how to get to ITT." and he just looks at me with a cynical stare and says, "WHAT?!" and then the tears started to roll down my face. It wasnt a little girl cry it was just kind of a sob. and i think he saw that and calmed down a little and goes, "Ben, what are you going to do on the first day of classes in college and you dont even know how to get there?" And he was right, that has been one of my biggest fears about college, i know it sounds dumb, but like i said, i have a lot of trouble with anxiety. And i sobbed more and he said , "Is it something at home, can we talk about it?" and in my head i was like..."uh, your the last person i would come to talk about this." and i just say "no, let me work." he then gives me directions to ITT and i get in my car, sobbing and drive away. I thought about why i was crying and pretty much determined that it was all because of the stress of work and i just couldnt physically or mentaly deal with it. That day i worked a 10 hour day, pulling weeds all day with one 20 minute lunch break. It was driving me insane. Later in about the 7th hour that brandy girl showed up and we started talking and became real buddy buddy which made me feel a lot better. She knew something was wrong and later said, "I dont want to sound like an asshole but i can tell your just not meant for this job." and she said, "You just kinda stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the rest." and she was completely right, i wasnt meant for the job at all, not even close. i just needed to be out. Tee probblem was, i couldnt quit. My house is right next door to my bosses flower shop and he always plows our lawn and gives us free flowers. What my mom was afraid of was that if i quit that it would be so awkward living right there next to him and he would stop plowing the driveway and giving us free flowers. So i just had to suck up the work for the next two weeks until i go to college, and then i continue the stress. Well, i get home that day and im just so uterly tiredd and my mom knows i hate my job so she feels so badly. I get up to go to work today and as im coming down the stairs my moms phone starts to ring. and she goes, "oh hi dan." and from my experience i knew this could go one of a few ways, Either i have the day off, i go in late, or im fired. and then i go into the room that my mom is talking on her cell in and she leaves the room and goes outside and i say, "uh-oh this cant be good." so i wait for about ten mintes and she comes back inside and i pretend im getting ready for work. And she says, "Ben, dan said you had an emotional beakdown at work yeterday and he knows you hate your job. so he's making you the new flower delievery guy, you dont have to do the toehr job anymore." Inside i was jumping for joy but on the outside i just acted normal. And now im back up in my bed waiting to go deliver flowers. Apparently i only have to do like 3 or 4 sometimes less a day. I just need some relaxation time this summer. It's my first summer i have worked this much and i deffinitly wasnt ready for it at all. Now im happy thought and my stress is gone. Finally i will have some time to do some good footbagging
So essentially out of bad came some good. I think im going to keep that in the back of my head for my whole life.
@ the last line paul.