Footbag Dating

Eric Chang · Post by **Eric Chang** » 31 Jul 2008 00:07

I want to announce that I have accepted Kyle's proposal in marriage all footbaggers are invited. I wish the bride's maid to be David Clavens do you accept?

By the way you're all invited, dress for shred.

Camilleon · Post by **Camilleon** » 31 Jul 2008 05:09

hahahaha yes! open bar?

Eric Chang · Post by **Eric Chang** » 31 Jul 2008 09:40

Yes Steve Goldberg said he would pay for the open bar!!

LEGOMAN · Post by **LEGOMAN** » 31 Jul 2008 12:45

acommoncold wrote:I want to announce that I have accepted Kyle's proposal in marriage all footbaggers are invited. I wish the bride's maid to be David Clavens do you accept?

By the way you're all invited, dress for shred.

: D

Wasabi · Post by **Wasabi** » 31 Jul 2008 14:07

Kyle, wear your lightning bolt shorts to the wedding ceremony.

LEGOMAN · Post by **LEGOMAN** » 31 Jul 2008 14:25

Wasabi wrote:Kyle, wear your lightning bolt shorts to the wedding ceremony.

will do

kesalfun · Post by **kesalfun** » 31 Jul 2008 18:51

this is hilarious but so ridiculously off topic.

LEGOMAN · Post by **LEGOMAN** » 31 Jul 2008 21:33

kesalfun wrote:this is hilarious but so ridiculously off topic.

no this topic sucks and is now about me and eric getting married

Camilleon · Post by **Camilleon** » 01 Aug 2008 00:39

Ok before Kyle & Eric start naming their future children (lol how the hell would that even work?!), let's take this back to it's serious purpose.

The topic of footbag relationships shouldnâ€™t be such a huge issue to begin with. Yes, this is a small community, but why should we be so worried about dating within it? It happens in every other community... it happens everywhere... we are humans! It's what we do!

But you guys probably don't realize this: us shreditas do have actual concerns regarding this topic.

Because there are so few girls here, most of us are pretty wary about getting involved in a footbag relationship. For the (maybe not so) obvious reasons:

{Disclaimer: these of course don't all apply to every shredita, but I think they apply to a bunch of us, at least a bunch in North America. A few of us have discussed it pretty extensively. And I'm sure some of these apply to a lot of the guys too... though probably not the first one...}

1 - We don't want to look like a "hacky-ho"

So far this hasnâ€™t been an issue. At least not to my knowledge. But if it ever is: thatâ€™s bullshit.

If a shredita were to date more than one person in the community, it would not be at all acceptable for her to be perceived in a negative way. Any guy in the same situation would not be viewed in a negative way; in fact, heâ€™d probably be given props for it!

Us girls would not view ourselves as hack hos if we were to date more than one person here, but we canâ€™t help but be somewhat concerned about it. This double standard exists everywhere in the world, but in our tiny little community, where the girls are SO ridiculously outnumbered by the guys, it seems that a spotlight is put on us and everything is magnified.

It shouldnâ€™t be this way. When there are so few of us but so many of you, re-dating is bound to happen, at least a few times. Sometimes relationships don't work out, and sometimes other ones do, you can't control where or how you found each other.

2 â€“ The relationship could fizzle out and then weâ€™d still have to see each other at sessions or competitions.

I think that this is a problem that can be dealt with responsibly. I think itâ€™s important to find a way to coexist if things donâ€™t work out, not only for the couple, but for the shredders around them, too. You can still be civil to each other, or you can just ignore each other, or you can remain friends. Itâ€™s possible to remain friends, but if not, who cares? Itâ€™s not like footbag sessions or tourines happen all that often anyway. Itâ€™s not even CLOSE to as risky as dating someone from school or work, and people do that all the time.

You need to go into the relationship maturely acknowledging that this person is likely going to be around whether you want to see them or not, and you will have to be respectful towards each other.

3 - There is the possibility that other guys in the community won't be as friendly or interested in interacting with a shredita when she is in a relationship as they are when she is single.

I donâ€™t know- I havenâ€™t really seen it yet but what do you guys think? I don't think it would be fair, but it's possible. Would you become less of friends with a girl if she got a boyfriend in the community?

4 â€“ Our freedom might be affected.

If you have ever brought a girlfriend to a jam, chances are you know how much if affects your ability to party or shred with everyone as much as you want to. Now imagine that all the shredders were chicks. Would your girlfriend like that? Not likelyâ€¦ So I just think itâ€™s important to remember that a shredita will have a lot of guy friends and she will wander at jams. If youâ€™re dating her, youâ€™ll have to give her lots of space and let her do her own thing at hack jams, just as you would want. The only difference is that her spending a lot of time with a lot of guys might affect you differently than you hanging out with those guys would affect her. Makes sense, right?

I personally think that if youâ€™re the super jealous type, you shouldnâ€™t date a shredita.

5 - The skill-level difference may interfere, plus the pressure and frustration that naturally comes with this sport CAN have an impact on the relationship.

Footbag is already frustrating.

Add:

-the frustration a girl might feel if she doesnâ€™t feel she lives up to the â€œmaleâ€

C-Fan · Post by **C-Fan** » 01 Aug 2008 05:39

Great post Camille. Thanks for taking the time to articulate all that.

LEGOMAN · Post by **LEGOMAN** » 01 Aug 2008 10:38

tl;dr

also were making it so eric can have my children

Shawni · Post by **Shawni** » 01 Aug 2008 22:33

Uh....I know it's sad but if I never started dating Aaron I wouldn't have started footbag, or ever known about it. I'm at the point that I've worked so hard to learn these tricks that I could never give up the game. Emily even told me that I'm not allowed to leave anyway so yeah...

Plus, if you guys would stop being so anti-social maybe you'd all have girlfriends and could teach them a few tricks. Maybe we could finally expand our community and equal out the gender a bit. Psh.

Second, footbag isn't for everyone. I'm sure you've seen that in both genders it doesn't mean they aren't interested in the sport or respect it. We all take a certain risk when dating someone, if break ups happen you have to deal with them in real life what's so hard about it in the footbag community?

Lastly, dating someone and playing footbag...I swear to you...is the ultimate thing. You'll never understand how cool it is to be in a relationship with someone that you can have conversations about footbag or talk about concepts or different move selection or style. I'm sure you who have dated someone within the community can understand. And, teaching someone this sport is rewarding also. It's a special bond and it's pretty cool. Anyone who gets to try it is very blessed.

PS Shout out trick tips are ALWAYS welcomed and appreciated (for me at least). Improving your game should be your main priority not your ego; so no man should ever have to "ask" if they can give advice. The girl should "ask" for help if they don't understand a concept. So should everyone else regardless of gender. ....Just thought I should put that out there.

Camilleon · Post by **Camilleon** » 01 Aug 2008 23:32

Shawni wrote:PS Shout out trick tips are ALWAYS welcomed and appreciated (for me at least). Improving your game should be your main priority not your ego; so no man should ever have to "ask" if they can give advice. The girl should "ask" for help if they don't understand a concept. So should everyone else regardless of gender. ....Just thought I should put that out there.

That's quite the absolute you've written there. My whole post was riddled with "mights" and "maybes" because I know these things can't possibly apply to everyone.

It's not about ego, it's about how you learn best. Some people won't learn well if they are feeling uncomfortable with the way someone is trying to teach them, and everyone is different and has different preferences. So it's not really fair to to say that not accepting shouted out tips means that you don't want to improve.

Surely everyone wants to improve, but if that format of teaching doesn't work for you, why would you want it?

I agree that people should ASK for tips when they want them. It's also been my general understanding (for the longest time) that you should approach teaching with a certain level of propriety. Etiquette is an important part of this sport, at least to me and countless others, as it should be. Being in a relationship shouldn't mean you lose sight of manners.

In fact, some people are more sensitive around or more quickly irritated by someone they are close with (kind of like a sibling). So... say... if I'm at a tournie and a bagger I don't know all that well randomly yells out a tip, I probably won't get pissed (although I don't consider that all that polite), but if in the same environment (or even a private session) my boyfriend shouts out a tip, I might get a little more edgy, especially depending on my level of frustration at that moment.

Weird how that works out. But it's really in the delivery. I don't think I'd appreciate anyone barking tips at me, no matter who they are. There are more polite ways of going about it.

Ftr when I said 'my boyfriend' I was just using it for the sake of the example... I'm actually single.

And you're right- it's a wonderful thing to be involved with someone you can talk to in footbag language and have them actually understand, and then get to play, travel to tournies, organize jams, and do all that great stuff together... support each other during competition, help each other with your games and styles... it's endless. And just to have someone that APPRECIATES footbag in the ways only shredders can. It's such a love... a passion.. so to share it in your love and passion (as a couple)... it's beautiful.

I was lucky enough to have experienced some of those features of being in a "footbag relationship", but unfortunately I missed out on a lot of the best parts.

So, I totally understand why a lot of the guys want a footbag relationship.

One of my best 'baggin buds (not sure you want your name attached to this, though it's nothing offensive) recently said that he feels bad for any lesbian shreditas because they have an even harder time finding a shredita girlfriend than the guys do!

So just remember that when you're moping about how hardly any single girls shred!

kesalfun · Post by **kesalfun** » 02 Aug 2008 00:48

LEGOMAN wrote: no this topic sucks and is now about me and eric getting married

That was very disrespectful and honestly pissed me right the fuck off.

If you don't like the thread don't read it or participate, instead of acting like a douche and ruining what I was trying to be serious about. I was trying to be cool about it, but I asked a serious question, and I expect some serious answers. It doesn't need to be all serious, but being flat out rude is uncalled for. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was amusing too.

I have no doubt in my mind why there aren't many girls in this sport!! That very post right there discourages and puts girls in general, especially me down.

As a woman and as someone involved in this sport (I don't consider myself a footbagger yet, but I am working on it!) I demand more respect.

(I know your joking, but SERIOUSLY!)

I of course agree with Camille.

dp · Post by dp » 02 Aug 2008 05:56

On the matter of tips, I really like it when people give me tips. About half the time the tip doesn't really resonate and it's just kinda useless but the other half it really helps. I just appreciate them trying to help me. I'm sure if somebody were badgering me with tips it would be annoying though, but that's never happened to me.

Camilleon · Post by **Camilleon** » 02 Aug 2008 07:42

I also love tips, and I often ask for them when I need them.

The point is that it's different when it's your significant other who is giving you the tips. For some reason (to me anyway and I'm sure others) it can just feel really bothersome if they do it a lot, or before you're warmed up, or without being asked. I think maybe because they are the person who teaches the most and sometimes it can be overbearing or put pressure on us. And maybe because it just reminds us of how much better they are (most of the time)?

I don't know for sure, but I'm only posting it so that you guys can be a bit more careful about it and hopefully prevent any frustration, tension, or resentment between your girlfriend and yourself. Not every girl will have this problem and not every guy will cause this problem. It's just something to look out for and try to deal with in the best way possible.

Wasabi · Post by **Wasabi** » 02 Aug 2008 08:17

Shawni wrote:Lastly, dating someone and playing footbag...I swear to you...is the ultimate thing. You'll never understand how cool it is to be in a relationship with someone that you can have conversations about footbag or talk about concepts or different move selection or style. I'm sure you who have dated someone within the community can understand. And, teaching someone this sport is rewarding also. It's a special bond and it's pretty cool. Anyone who gets to try it is very blessed.

I completely agree. And yes, it is very rewarding at an interpersonal level.

mosher · Post by **mosher** » 02 Aug 2008 10:13

To be honest, it was really great dating Pengpeng and getting to have a footbag girlfriend for a while. She's ADORABLE when she plays and I loved getting talk about tricks and stuff I was working on with her.

hehe we had many many sessions together modding so many different pairs of shoes and stitching together and snuggling watching shred videos. haha aww, I miss having a shredita girlfriend!

Eric Chang · Post by **Eric Chang** » 02 Aug 2008 11:22

kesalfun wrote:As a woman and as someone involved in this sport (I don't consider myself a footbagger yet, but I am working on it!) I demand more respect.

To very honest that is the last thing I think in my head "Oh she footbags and is a GIRL ZOMG" Really whats the big deal to be honest? It is like that with girls and gaming, you know fragdolls with the whole "hot girls who play games" kind of thing. To be honest I could careless, in my mind I think girls can do whatever they damn please and nothing can hold them back if they try hard enough. But on the other hand, just because you're a girl doesn't mean you get more respect than anyone else either. Its an even playing field, and frankly one has to prove themselves to me no matter who you are.

Once again why should we be so shocked if a girl takes up footbag? Or if she becomes good at gaming etc etc etc. I do realize there are some differences between males and females, but not enough for me to be all head over heels for.

But here are the things I respected from you (if this is the right person I am thinking of). You were trying to learn footbag in chucks (which is really hard) but you kept working at the toe stall and were getting it! Not to mention you told me you ordered a pair of Quantums, and were thinking about Rod Lavers since they were being delayed. That right there is an effort to get better at the sport, and it doesn't matter what kind of human you are, that right there would deserve respect.

Also a side note, Kyle likes to try to provoke people

Just go with it and have fun!

Kyle is preggers by the way! We are going to name the kids "VasekDavidHonzaAlesRyan Chang"

kesalfun · Post by **kesalfun** » 03 Aug 2008 01:07

I really appreciate everything said, Eric. Well done. :p

And everything you said was correct.