Jeremy Mirken's Footbag Blog

Senor Grommet · Post by **Senor Grommet** » 08 Oct 2008 20:32

It started out as a healthy preoccupation with keeping myself warm at recess. High school mornings at Arroyo Grande were cold and unfriendly. At least until I discovered the first secret in life: Hacky Sack. Yes . . . hacky sack. Kicking, passing, stalling, tricks, adds, combos, links, runs. These words ruled my life for nearly eight years, years that saw me, a nobody counrty hillbilly, move from a small country town and become a dazzling urbanite in the fine city of Santa Barbara, and then a Sonoran desert dweller in Tucson, Arizona. At some point, I must have thought that my education was guiding my path, hack was just something I did to forget perpetual studenthood, that the choices I made were atually my own. I was wrong. You can imagine my surprise when I realized that pursuit of education was a false front, a guise I had conjured up to allow my subconscious the freedom to exercise it's will: copius amounts of hacky sack. Hack alone, hack with friends, hack with hippies I knew, and those I didn't, hack with those that smelled, and those in awe of my control, hack outside in sweltering 116 degree heat, and hack in a 60 degree air conditioned room past 1AM. Hack ruled. Imagine my surprise when, after completing schooling, I returned to California to pursue my true ambition in life. And so that was how I found myself living in Santa Cruz, ready to resurrect a dying freestyle scene in an epically hippy town. And it seemed to be working, it really did, until the initiation . . . the month that changed my life. That month, two of my best friends and Santa Cruz's only true freestylers other than myself, suffered traumatic back injuries. They were out of the game. I was out of luck. What to do . . . what to do . . . a new version of hack! That's what I'll do!

I never imagined how quickly the passion for freestyle could be extinguished, how quickly the thrill of an add could be replaced by the thrill of a spike. And that's precisely how my obsession was triggered, by a spike. Not just any spike, mind you, a fucking toe jam. Thinking back now, I can hardly believe that anyone can "get up" for a toe jam. It's a simple maneuver, from a physics standpoint, a 3 on the scale of difficulty, of aerial ability, of danger, of GLORY! A 3? That's like an "F," and I had learned never to settle for anything but an "A." There's only one move that could earn me an A, only one move that would ever be worth learning, worth practicing, worth getting injured over, worth obsessing about, losing sleep over, getting bruised over, hyperextending joints over, breaking toes over. That move, my dear readers, is the ROLL SPIKE. This is not just any move. This is not your grandmother's net spike. This is a fucking man's spike, and from the day I first saw it, I knew I had to own it. It's been 781 days now since I accepted my destiny to master the Roll Spike. "How am you doing? How am I doing, you ask? Well, (muffled cough), that depends on what you're referring to. I can't sleep. My body aches daily in places most people will never feel, I perseverate on the image of me completing the perfect motion instead of paying my electricity bill, my phone bill, registerring my car with the DMV, maintaining an insurance policy, doing the dishes, socializing. Roll spike infiltrates my driving, my cooking, my cleaning. Oh, wait, I don't really clean anymore. There's no time for that. I NEED to perfect my roll spike. And working? Well, I wouldn't say I work anymore. Yes, I still go to work, but I don't think you can can what I do there, work. I just spend time there, I clock in and out, make the currency that allows me the time to roll when I'm a free man again. I think I'm really onto something here though. NO, I know what you're thinking. And it's not true. The crazy ones live in assylums, they can't fake a productive life like I can. They can't schmooz angry parents and a bunch of middle school faculty in Oakland. Oh yeah, Oakland. I forgot to mention, I just moved to Oakland. I'm now living with this year's world champ, in a spare bedroom. I think you know why. Oh, it's worth it. Yeah it's fuckin worth it. And no, I'm no fucking stalker. A stalker has a desire for people, an unhealthy desire. I jusat want to roll spike. You know that high you get when you've just taken some speed, after doin a little meth? Well, that's kind of what it feels like to even TRY a roll spike. When you hit one? Holy shit, I don't think there's a comparable feeling.

I hope you're starting to see things from my perspective here, because I'm beginning to doubt that it's worth my time to write to you. But maybe, just maybe, one of you will realize, just as I did, that the meaning of life is more than just happiness, more than just love, more than freedom or choice, or fun, or desire, or accomplishment. Roll spike is like all of those things in the form of one giant gauntlet that slapped me across the face. Well, I took up the challenge. Now I have bitch-slapped you with that gauntlet you little bitch. What are YOU going to do?

Zeke · Post by **Zeke** » 08 Oct 2008 20:51

Roll Spike... mmmmmmmmm

We're not so different, are we?

mohkale · Post by **mohkale** » 08 Oct 2008 22:04

Good read Jere!

I don't think I'm ambitious enough to go for the roll, or even toe jam for that matter. I'm happy with my F- sole dinks.

You should keep on writing. Once the still freestyling future net players realize they were wrong the whole time, they're going to need a role model with a similar histoy. A history of being gay.

MAtti

Guydro · Post by **Guydro** » 09 Oct 2008 19:54

I don't know how or why I started reading this...But I'm glad I did! I found the old wrist guards out of my skateboard bag. I'm setting up the old net, and sarting to practice 1st thing in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was moved by this!

Senor Grommet · Post by **Senor Grommet** » 09 Oct 2008 20:42

haha! awesome. Hope you have some fun playing! (new readers refer back to top of page)

mosher · Post by **mosher** » 10 Oct 2008 16:12

I'm going to roll spike some day.

Senor Grommet · Post by **Senor Grommet** » 17 Oct 2008 18:12

I bet you will Mr. standing back tuck . . . I bet you will.

Last week's schedule:
Last Saturday: net 4.5 hrs
Sunday: net 5 hrs
Monday: rest day
Tuesday: net 3 hrs
Wednesday: rest day
Thursday: net 3.25 hrs
Friday: Takraw 1.5 hrs
Saturday (Tomorrow): planned 4.5 hrs of net
Sunday: Planned 5 hrs of net

Total kicking sports to be played in this 9 day span: 26.75 hrs

Senor Grommet · Post by **Senor Grommet** » 02 Nov 2008 18:18

On Sept 18th, I posted in Orton's health and fitness thread. At the time, I believe I weighted in at about 168 or so. Since that time, I've been maintaining if not increasing my regimen of cardio and exercise. Additionally, I have been eating quite carefully, cutting out about 75% of the carbs in my diet, increasing the fruits by 3x, increasing veggies by 2x, increasing protein by 2x, and decreasing unnecessary calories from fat by 50%. Most of my meals are vegetarian, yet still high in protein. If I do have meat, my quantities are generally smaller, let's guestimate under 8 oz. The result of this experiment is that I have dropped to 158 lbs, which is the lowest I've weighed since I lived in AZ as a grad student (almost 5 years ago).

The best part? I am experimenting with eating new foods in creative ways and I am not missing the old ways of eating. My plan is to continue these diet modifications in order to maintain the 150-160 weight range, while slowly building up strength and power in my upper and lower body.

In December, I am really going to commit to learning a roll spike (i.e., landing on my feet properly, no hands landing), assuming my body cooperates. At 155, it should be a lot easier than at 170!

Zeke · Post by **Zeke** » 03 Nov 2008 17:00

That's great to hear. I wish I had your discipline.

Inshredable Bulk vs Jergonaut

acxel22 · Post by **acxel22** » 03 Nov 2008 18:00

will you be at chicago?

Senor Grommet · Post by **Senor Grommet** » 07 Nov 2008 20:00

With all likelihood, I will be in Venezuela for the South American Championships instead of Chicago this year. I'll keep you updated.

CIC flurry · Post by **CIC flurry** » 08 Nov 2008 01:11

this is unacceptable

acxel22 · Post by **acxel22** » 08 Nov 2008 10:51

how can Jeremy not come back to chicago this year

especially since this happened last year:
http://www.footbag.org/gallery/show/15363

You got to be there!

Moxie · Post by **Moxie** » 14 Nov 2008 01:52

Happy Birthday (yesterday!)

CIC flurry · Post by **CIC flurry** » 14 Nov 2008 12:34

Happy berfday, pony

Senor Grommet · Post by **Senor Grommet** » 17 Nov 2008 20:16

Thanks for the b-day wishes. I had an amazing birthday night. One of the "highest" nights of my life. I had the best footbag net session I've ever had, and afterwards we went out to eat some food, drink some beer, and then break in our new keggerator.

As for NYJ, I can officially announce that I will miss this event for the first time in about 5 years. I am sad about this for several reasons, two of which are that my favorite footbag friends are in Chicago and the food is crazy delicious. However, I am passing it up this year for a noble cause.

I'll be attending the South American Footbag Championships from the 15th of December until Dec 31st, in Venezuela. Hola Hugo! And I'm getting some sponsorship money to go there! I'll get to play and teach footbag net for a week to aspiring players, then do lots of fun touristy stuff with the brain-child of South American footbag, Carlos Marquez, and one of my favorite Chaos clubmates, Jack Harris. Jack is going to be my partner this year I think. What a cool bonding experience it will be.

More details to follow.

Senor Grommet · Post by **Senor Grommet** » 10 Dec 2008 19:38

Im leaving for Venezuela in less than a week. Jack Harris and I just won our first "tournament championship" in our first try, defeating PT Lovern and Pat Keehan in straight games. It was an event attended by only bay area players. We demoralized them. Tension seems to fuel our little green club.

I suck at roll spiking bags during games, but I can kick leaves at almost 8 feet high now. I have to generalize that skill to games or else the skill is all for naught.

Moxie · Post by **Moxie** » 22 Dec 2008 10:13

Happy Hanukkah.

C-Fan · Post by **C-Fan** » 22 Dec 2008 10:15

What are your top food choices for Chicago? This will be my first NYJ, so I am sad it had to be the first NYJ that you miss.

Senor Grommet · Post by **Senor Grommet** » 13 Jan 2009 21:56

Ken,

I was in VZ when you posted, and I didn't have reliable access to the internet. Couldn't answer you in time, sorry. Better late than never: Giordano's pizza, potbelly's sandwiches, and bubble tea from Chinatown.

I won the South American Championship with my partner Jack in December '08. Placed second in singles to Yves.

I have gotten as high as 8"2' on my latest roll spike attempts with a hanging ball (2.43 meters).

Today was Eric Wulff's first session back in about 4 months. Since his absence, I have been skooling the roll spike pretty hard. At the beginning of tonight's session, I told my partner that my goal was to "roll spike it on Wulff!" I got only one chance, on game point, and I kicked the shit out of it high, hard, and straight down at his feet! Felt reeeeeal good.

Here is a cool picture sequence of an asian roll spike:
http://cid-64a7d1de3c4dd1a4.skydrive.li ... ?ct=photos

Here's my white roll spike:
http://footbag.org/gallery/show/15615

modified

Jeremy Mirken's Footbag Blog

Leaving for Venezuela