Curious but True News Items from Around the World

[Zac Miley]

That's awesome. Good for him!

[Zac Miley]

http://www.tvshark.com/read/?art=arc2513

"Sarah Palin Porn Movie Finds Its Lead Actress

After putting out a casting for a Sarah Palin lookalike, 'Hustler' founder Larry Flynt has found an actress to star in an X-rated flick featuring the Alaskan governor.

The movie called "Nailin' Paylin" will star adult actress Lisa Ann with Palin's signature glasses and hairdo. And knowing how important the story is, the company has released a short summary of what to expect:

"Nailin' Paylin will take the viewer on a naughty adventure to the wild side of that sexy Alaska governor. Sara Paylin will not only be showing us some girl-on-girl lovin' but will also be nailing the Russians, who come knocking on her back-door and in a flashback young Paylin's creationist college professor will explain a big bang theory even she can't deny!"

And we all know good dialogue is just as important so below are some released excerpts from the script, which includes a late-night visit from the tanning bed repairman.

PALIN: My oh my. That's quite a toolbelt you have on. It looks heavy.
JOE: I have a big hammer.
PALIN: Oh, I betcha do. I love a big hammer. But I love screwdrivers, too! And wrenches. The fact is I love and respect all of America's diverse tools, big and small. They're what helps make us so great as a nation. Here, let me take that off for ya.

JOE: Looks like there are just a bunch of screws loose.
PALIN: You're in luck. I fully support off-shore and on-shore drilling.
PALIN: God almighty! You are hung like a moose. Now I have to eat ya!
JOE: I'm bigger than a moose. Do you have any contraceptives?
PALIN: It's okay. I already took a morning-after pill.
JOE: Um, are you sure it works that way?
PALIN: Are you asking me if I know what a morning-after pill is? Because I totally do! I'll get back to ya with specifics.

PALIN: Pound me until my head is so empty that I can't even remember the name of the one Supreme Court case I actually know! I want it to burn. Burn like a banned book. Oh God, Oh God, OH MY GOD! MAKE ME SEE RUSSIA FROM HERE!
PALIN: Wow-eee. I haven't had a ride that good since Todd took me for a spin on the back of his Yamaha at the Tesoro Iron Dog.
JOE: That was amazing. What now?
PALIN: I feel so alive! Let's grab my gay friend and go shoot wolves from the safety of a helicopter.

Production is evidently being fast-tracked so it can be released before the November election."

[Jeremy]

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008 ... 391257.htm

Man making kebab next to corpse hit by ban

Posted 9 hours 29 minutes ago

A man discovered making kebabs near a corpse has been banned from managing food businesses and fined 3,800 pounds ($9,435), England's Wolverhampton City Council says.

Jaswinder Singh, 45, was found by police making kebabs at Pappu Sweet Centre and Catering in Wolverhampton in August in a kitchen where a dead man was lying on a sofa.

As well the corpse, the policeman discovered another man smoking and spitting repeatedly on the floor, while in a room near the kitchen, a defrosting chicken, oozing blood and juices, was covered with flies.

Environmental health officers had visited the shop over a number of months previously where they had warned Singh to improve his food hygiene standards after finding rat droppings as well as a dead rat beneath a pot.

"We were called to reports of a sudden death," said West Midlands Police spokeswoman Joanne Hunt. "A post mortem was carried out, but found the death was not suspicious, so the matter was referred to the coroner."

Wolverhampton's city council's chief environmental services officer Nick Edwards said: "The council will not tolerate those who put the public at risk by preparing food in insanitary conditions.

"We are pleased that the council's actions have resulted in the courts banning this individual from ever running a food business again."

[Jeremy]

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008 ... 396916.htm

Woman 'torched car to avoid breath test'

A woman has gone to unusual lengths to avoid having to undertake a police roadside breath test on the New South Wales far south coast.

When officers on the Princes Highway stopped the 25-year-old from Broulee, in the Eurobodalla region, she allegedly refused to submit to the test and drove off at high speed.

A short while later, police responded to a report of a vehicle having crashed off the George Bass Drive at Malula Bay, where they say the driver was attempting to set her car alight.

Police say the woman was taken to the Batemans Bay police station, where she finally underwent the breath test, returning a high-range reading.

They say the woman's car was destroyed in the fire.

She is due to appear in court at Batemans Bay soon on a number of charges.

[Jeremy]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... ottom.html


Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom


A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom - and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked.


The clergyman, in his 50s, told nurses he had been hanging curtains when he fell backwards on to his kitchen table.

He happened to be nude at the time of the mishap, said the vicar, who insisted he had not been playing a sex game.

The vicar had to undergo a delicate operation to extract the vegetable, one of a range of odd items medics in

Sheffield have had to remove from people's backsides or genitals.

Others include a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll – and a carnation.

Speaking of the vicar, A & E nurse Trudi Watson, of Sheffield's Northern General Hospital, said: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

"But it's not for me to question his story. He had to undergo surgery to have it removed."

She advised anyone tempted to use such objects in sex games to think again.

"It can be very dangerous and potentially life-threatening," she said.

"Surgery can lead to infection, nasty scarring, and it could possibly end up with the person having to use a colostomy bag as a result."

A hospital trust spokeswoman in Sheffield said: "Like all busy hospitals we do see some unusual accidents.

"But our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way."

[Cope]

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008 ... 396916.htm

Woman 'torched car to avoid breath test'

A woman has gone to unusual lengths to avoid having to undertake a police roadside breath test on the New South Wales far south coast.

When officers on the Princes Highway stopped the 25-year-old from Broulee, in the Eurobodalla region, she allegedly refused to submit to the test and drove off at high speed.

A short while later, police responded to a report of a vehicle having crashed off the George Bass Drive at Malula Bay, where they say the driver was attempting to set her car alight.

Police say the woman was taken to the Batemans Bay police station, where she finally underwent the breath test, returning a high-range reading.

They say the woman's car was destroyed in the fire.

She is due to appear in court at Batemans Bay soon on a number of charges.

Those crazy bay kids, that sort of thing never happens in the Oom!

[Jeremy]

Perhaps no the most appropriate topic for this, but it's so hilarious;

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009 ... 461544.htm

US media jumps on Howard's Obama bump

Former prime minister John Howard and his wife are coming in for a bit of stick in the United States for their role in bumping President-elect Barack Obama and his family from the presidential guesthouse in Washington.

Mr Howard accepted an invitation to stay at historic Blair House on the night before he receives the presidential Medal of Freedom from President George W Bush.

Mr Howard says he had no idea he was going to displace Mr Obama when he accepted a White House invitation to stay at Blair House some months ago.

But in doing so he has inadvertently denied the Obamas from using the palatial guest house, the place where incoming presidents usually stay before their inauguration.

Mr Obama asked to stay at Blair House but was told no, so he and his young family are now living at the luxury Hay-Adams hotel, just around the corner.

The President-elect wanted to move in at the start of the year so his daughters could get settled and start at their new school.

But now the Obamas will not be able to move into the official guest house until after the Howards leave.

One lucky Australian"

The affair has caused a minor stir in the US. The Washington Post is running a story with photos of Blair House and John Howard below the headline: "119 rooms, 70,000 square feet and one lucky Australian".

Washington talk radio show Bill Press has also expressed his astonishment.

"I have to say with all due respect to our friends in Australia that I think our future leader far outranks, or should far outrank your former leader," he said.

"I think it's an insult to the American people. I think it's an insult to Barack Obama and I think it is George Bush just paying off one of his old pals.

"There are a lot of hotels in Washington that John Howard can go rent a hotel room. Rent a Holiday Inn, rent a Hilton inn. Get a room at the Hilton inn. Sleep in the park. But to put him in the Blair House over Barack Obama I just think is outrageous."

Mr Howard's stay at Blair House was also the subject of an on-air chat between the veteran political columnist Margaret Carlson and MSNBC presenter Keith Olbermann.

"It would have been a small thing for the Bushes to say yes. They still have control over Blair House and they decided to say no," Ms Carlson said.

Mr Olbermann responded: "There's one caveat here. Given how unpopular John Howard is in Australia at the moment, it's possible that he's coming here to seek political asylum so he might need the whole place."

"Right, and that no hotel would take him," Ms Carlson added.

Mr Howard and Barack Obama have a bit of history, of course.

They clashed swords in early 2007 over Mr Obama's plan to withdraw US troops from Iraq - which would have made sharing Blair House more than a bit awkward for both men.

-Adapted from a report by Michael Rowland for AM.

[BainbridgeShred]

Vicar went to hospital with potato stuck in bottom


A vicar attended hospital with a potato stuck up his bottom - and claimed it got there after he fell on to the vegetable while naked.

"Million to one chance doc, million-to-one..."

[Jeremy]

What I love most about that story is the last line.

"Our staff deal with them in a discreet, professional and kind way."

I'm not prepared to accept that when a story gets reported all around the world, that the staff behaved discreetly. It's not discreet to call the newspapers immediately after discharging a patient and telling them all about it.

I also like the way the nurse says "It's not for me to question his story," and then goes on to advise people who are thinking of using such objects in sex games to think again. "It's not for me to question his story, but I will anyway, because we all know it's ridiculous."

[Blue_turnip]

lol

[Jeremy]

This is pretty mental;

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009 ... 469606.htm

Rescuers dumbfounded by men who survived month at sea in esky

The Australian Maritime Safety Authority says it has no reason to doubt two Burmese men who say they drifted in a large fishing esky for nearly a month before they were found by a Coastwatch plane in the Torres Strait.

The men in their 20s say they were on a 12-metre Thai fishing boat with 18 others when it sank in rough seas two days before Christmas.

The men say they last saw the others swimming in open seas without life jackets.

The Authority's Tracey Jiggins says it is an incredible story.

"That is the story that we have been given by the two survivors. Both of them have been very adamant about their story so we can only take their story on face value and follow through on the information they have provided to us," she said.

"Other authorities; Immigration, the Department of Foreign Affairs will now follow through on other aspects of this."

Helicopter pilot Terry Gadenne helped rescue the pair, and says it was a textbook procedure.

"We winched him up and got to the other fellow soon thereafter and they were both desperate to get some water in," he said.

"They were certainly thirsty. They put down two litres of water really quickly each. They had some boils or damage of some sort to their legs and that was given first aid and we flew straight to the hospital from there."

The two men remain in hospital at Thursday Island in far-north Queensland.

Ms Jiggins says the men were spotted by a Coastwatch plane on Saturday floating in the commercial fishing esky.

She says it is unlikely there are other survivors.

"There were other people onboard the vessel at the time, they saw two groups of crew; one of 11, one of seven go down with the vessel and neither group had any flotation device with them," she said.

"With the time that has gone by it would be unlikely that there would be any survivors from the vessel if they were in water with no floatation devices."

She says there will not be a search for more survivors.

"We understand the vessel was boarded in Thailand and that the crew onboard were Thai and Burmese and we consequently notified all the relevant Australian authorities that will notify the government of those two countries," she said.

The Immigration Department is trying to verify their identities and will speak to the men again.

Thursday Island tour operator Greg Edwards told ABC Radio's AM program seas in the area have been treacherous.

"Very strong north-westerly winds maybe gusting up to 50 knots and squalls moving through the place," he said.

He says the men are lucky to have survived their ordeal.

edit; Picture.

[Jeremy]

I'm not sure this is really the appropriate topic for this, but whatevs.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009 ... 478546.htm

Alderman claims Liberal discrimination

A Hobart City Council member claims he has been discriminated against by the Tasmanian branch of the Liberal Party.

Alderman Marti Zucco has lodged a complaint with the Anti Discrimination Commission.

He said his application to become a Liberal Party member has been deferred because of a sexual discrimination case against him almost 20 years ago.

"Another is relevant to a sexual harassment case where I said the words, and am quite prepared to say it now, 'while you're down there' in 1992," Alderman Zucco said.

"The matter was actually dealt with by the Anti Discrimination Tribunal and under the Anti Discrimination Act no person should be questioning me on that particular matter because it was resolved," he said.

The Tasmanian Division of the Liberal Party says it informed Mr Zucco that he would not be a suitable candidate to stand for the Party.

But the State President, Sam McQuestin, denies that Mr Zucco's membership application was refused.

Marto Zucco is somebody I've met a few times, and also know his daughter. He's pretty mental. This explains why he's claiming that the Liberal Party is discriminating against people who have a history of sexual harassment. I also love his little quote about how he basically has no problem with saying to somebody; "While you're down there..."

[Moxie]

Saved by my iPod: Girl survives lightning strike after wire diverts 300,000 volts


A teenage girl survived a terrifying lightning strike after she was saved by the wire of her iPod. Schoolgirl Sophie Frost and her boyfriend Mason Billington, both 14, stopped to shelter under a tree when a storm struck as they were walking near their homes. Doctors believe Sophie survived the 300,000-volt surge only because it travelled through the gadget’s wire, diverting it away from her vital organs.

Both are expected to make a full recovery and Sophie may not even have a permanent scar. Sophie, on her hospital bed, said she was saved by headphone wires diverting the bolt away from her body. She will be thankful she was wearing her iPod, which she had been given four days earlier as a gift from her grandmother.

Returning from hospital yesterday after three days of treatment, she said: ‘I’m just glad to be alive. I don’t remember a thing about what happened, but from what everyone tells me it’s a miracle I’m still here.

‘Everybody’s said the iPod must have diverted the lightning away from my body, which probably saved my life. I’ve got a few burns, but it’s all healing OK.’

Sophie and Mason were knocked unconscious by the lightning bolt while holding hands and taking shelter in a field on Monday night. Mason came round and carried Sophie, who was scorched and unconscious, to a nearby road where he flagged down a female motorist who took the couple to Southend hospital.

Sophie suffered burns to her body and legs, some temporary damage to her eyes and a perforated eardrum. Dr Ian Cotton, a reader in electrical engineering at Manchester University, said Sophie could have been saved by her iPod.

‘If lightning hits a person it can do one of two things. It can go down the outside of the skin, which is more likely if someone is caught in a storm and their body is wet.

‘Or it can puncture the skin and go into the body. Potentially a metal wire, which is highly conductive could divert the electricity away from the heart and save someone’s life.’

Sophie was reunited with her boyfriend and family in Rayleigh, Essex, yesterday after being transferred to the Broomfield Hospital for burns treatment. She said Mason, whose eyesight is now back to normal, was a hero. ‘My mum thinks he’s wonderful,’ she added.










(Another article I read credited her life to both the ipod and the fact that she was holding hands with her boyfriend, both of which grounded electricity. -Emily)