Footbag jokes

hirskontra · Post by **hirskontra** » 13 Feb 2014 01:32

Hi all,

I'm quite surprised that no such topic exists yet... I once saw a youtube video in which a guy cracked some really funny jokes on footbag. He must have been a footbagger. Alas, this clip has been deleted, and I don't recall what his name was. The only one I remember from it is:

"What do footbag players put on their pasta? Beesauce."

Here are ones I made up:

What is Salvador Dali’s favourite footbag move? Paradox mirage.

Why does Jim Penske walk into a pub, that’s been set afire, carrying a baseball bat? To hit a blazing barfly!

Does anyone know any more? Feel free to make some up, I think we are short of them:))

C-Fan · Post by **C-Fan** » 13 Feb 2014 11:56

The classic one is:

Q: How many footbaggers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to screw it in, one to film it, and three to stand around and say "nice!"

Outsider · Post by **Outsider** » 13 Feb 2014 19:04

Yeah, the "screw in a lightbulb" one is my favorite -- the best footbag joke I've heard. However, I remember it a little differently --- in my recollection, it was one to screw in the bulb, one to say "Nice!" and THREE to film... the joke was, at that time, that it often seemed like there were more people filming than shredding. At least, thats how I understood it. They don't have humor on the planet that I'm from, so I sometimes don't understand jokes well if I'm not paying close attention.

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 13 Feb 2014 20:12

I heard a footbag joke about 9/11 a few years ago, but I think a few people on this forum would find it offensive so I'll keep it to private discussions. It's a bit of a dad joke anyway.

F[uns]tylin' Eclectic · Post by **F[uns]tylin' Eclectic** » 16 Feb 2014 00:55

hirskontra wrote:I once saw a youtube video in which a guy cracked some really funny jokes on footbag. He must have been a footbagger. Alas, this clip has been deleted, and I don't recall what his name was. The only one I remember from it is:

"What do footbag players put on their pasta? Beesauce."

That was my student, George Hayward! He still plays. I was at his show for that. The jokes were the one you said and these:

1) What do you call a sliding car that has a driver with bad vision? A Blurry Drifter
2) beesauce joke
3) What's the most annoying thing you can say to a footbag player? Did you hit it flipside?

I remember when Jon told me the lightbulb joke

Hilarious.

Here's one I just made up:

Q: How many creatures did the footbagger kill in the mystical forest when he accidentally drove through it?

A: Just one, he managed to duck the Fairies but he hit the Butterfly

..and it Smeared all over his windshield.

F[uns]tylin' Eclectic · Post by **F[uns]tylin' Eclectic** » 16 Feb 2014 01:15

What's an intermediate level player's favorite hand-held game?

BOP-It

hirskontra · Post by **hirskontra** » 16 Feb 2014 12:31

Thanks, guys!

Good ones!

Now I remember the blurry drifter one, too:)

The mystical forest is cool, as well:)

Keep 'em coming:)

F[uns]tylin' Eclectic · Post by **F[uns]tylin' Eclectic** » 16 Feb 2014 21:24

Why didn't cops care much when they found the dead homeless junkie footbagger?

He was just a Shooting Drifter (morbid.) *rim shot*

What do you call a bunny rabbit that is having uncontrollable spasms?

A Pogo Flailing Legbeater *rim shot*

h4x354x0r · Post by **h4x354x0r** » 16 Feb 2014 21:55

You peeps want anything out of the old "Hacktionary"? It's a slightly different format, but some of the definitions are still pretty funny.

F[uns]tylin' Eclectic · Post by **F[uns]tylin' Eclectic** » 16 Feb 2014 22:06

No idea what that Hacktionary is but if they're funny, post 'em up!

Sporatical_Distractions · Post by **Sporatical_Distractions** » 16 Feb 2014 22:13

What do u say to a tiltless player with arachnophobia when a spider walks by?

Nice flailing legover

Ohios1 · Post by **Ohios1** » 17 Feb 2014 01:35

Whats a veggie and a trick that is crispy?

eggplant....

Nathan8 · Post by **Nathan8** » 17 Feb 2014 19:40

Why is (a) footbag multi-cultural?

It travels around the world every day.

F[uns]tylin' Eclectic · Post by **F[uns]tylin' Eclectic** » 18 Feb 2014 19:57

Nice ones everybody!

Which goal of Tiltless players can you find in your bathroom?

Nail Clippers

Ohios1 · Post by **Ohios1** » 18 Feb 2014 20:26

what do you call it, when your grandma's farts smell like sourkrawt and you get hungry and turned on?

mind bender

shred4life · Post by **shred4life** » 23 Feb 2014 19:13

Every trick i hit today was blurry... Not the set... I broke my glasses. I can't see shit.

(true story)

F[uns]tylin' Eclectic · Post by **F[uns]tylin' Eclectic** » 23 Feb 2014 20:53

Why did Matt Cross the road?

(No punchline. Joke is punchline)

Why did Matt Cross constantly cry as a child?

He was always "crank"y.

What is Brian Bear's favorite band/musician?

Moby-us.

Did you hear Martha Stewart shreds?

Yeah, I saw her do Eggbeaters> Omelet.

C-Fan · Post by **C-Fan** » 24 Feb 2014 08:02

Not a formal joke per se, but this video never fails to make me laugh out loud:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZVECUHnKM[/youtube]

F[uns]tylin' Eclectic · Post by **F[uns]tylin' Eclectic** » 24 Feb 2014 21:51

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJXKpxGDyGs[/youtube]

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