This post will be called: "Some thoughts and PA Net Championships". Here goes nothing.
I’ve been writing down my thoughts lately because in reality, I don’t have anything better to do at this point.
Just looking back at the past year, maybe the past 3 years, I have noticed that I am fairly optimistic. I am happy with who I am, I don’t have many regrets, and I feel good about myself physically and mentally. I look at life a bit like a game – there are days when I am winning, days when I am just getting through, and just recently, I have days where I lose. In this so called game with which I am describing my everyday experiences, it all comes down to how I feel during that moment. Averaged out, I can see if I felt good that day, just felt like I was passing the hours, or if I was struggling. I only really stop to think about this sort of thing at the end of a long day or when I have nothing to do, but this type of self-reflection usually helps me feel accomplished and happy with myself.
It doesn’t take much for me to have a day where I feel as though I am winning. It could just be getting up early and finishing an assignment a few days before it is due, or timing the laundry just right so that I don’t have to do the sniff test the next day. Assuming the rest of the day goes off without any serious problems, that day leaves me feeling good about life. On a “meh” day, everything is just ordinary. I do the bare minimum needed and don’t get punished for it. I don’t regret those days, because it just doesn’t really bother me if I don’t put in 100% effort into something and it still works. I call that efficiency and resource allocation. My mom calls it being lazy and halfhearted. I think she is crazy and doesn’t react well to changing circumstances, but I still love her.
This kind of mentality might help you understand why I wasn’t too upset when I snapped my Achilles tendon at PA Net Champs. That event was so fun, I was really happy with how well I was playing doubles net and we were winning. I admit, going into that tournament, I never tried to play net seriously – I played a few points at Worlds and instantly regretted it because I was wearing lavers. I got paired up with Jim Hogan who always set really well for me and did his best to salvage points when I had to deal with serves coming my way. We were winning our semifinal match and I was going for a ball that Drew got over the net. I wasn’t stretching for it or anything, just reacted to get my feet in position to set the ball. I felt a hard snap in my left ankle and immediately lost all feeling in my foot. I think I just collapsed down, tried to move my ankle and couldn’t. I saw that my Achilles tendon no-longer stretched from my hell to my calf, instead there was just an indent of skin where it used to be. “Cool, this is how it feels” was my first thought, and I remember it vividly. In fact, I don’t really remember how it felt, not do I remember my instant reaction that well – I think I might have fallen and gasped out of surprise, but I don’t think there was really any pain past the initial shock.
All of that happened immediately and I remember Jim, Drew, and Aintno coming towards me asking what had happened. At that point I knew what was wrong and I knew what had to be done. Most importantly, nothing actually hurt, but I was too scared to move my leg. I just told them that my Achilles was gone and that I needed to go to the hospital. I said no to ice, although I probably should have accepted it, and slowly (relative to how quickly things happened in my head at the moment) people started coming up and checking on it, someone got directions to the hospital, ect. I don’t really remember everyone who came up to me when I was down, I just remember it being nice and sunny and I was happy because nothing hurt. That was literally my life that that moment, and I was winning. And smiling. Probably looked like an idiot, but who cares, I had a good time even though most people thought I was suffering horribly.
On that note, I would like to point out that I really hoped people would stop worrying about it and just go back to enjoying their day. Unfortunately, I don’t think I was in a position, or had the mental capacity to make that clear to everyone, even though I tried to reassure people that it wasn’t that bad. Next time I play net, I will wear a shirt that says “If I rupture my Achilles, please keep playing, I’m in my happy place right now”. In fine print it will say “but really, if you could take me to the hospital, I’d be even more stoked”. That was one of the reasons I wanted to stay the night there – I wasn’t finished enjoying my tourney experience and if there was going to be no pain and the soonest I could see a doctor was Monday, I might as well make the best of it and soak up the sun. Plus I was surrounded by my best friends and one of the nicest settings for any footbag event I have ever been to.
I owe a huge thanks to everyone who was there, especially the Solonoski family for being such gracious hosts. Adrienne and Ryan, you guys were so awesome for driving me from the middle of nowhere to the nearest hospital, getting lost a few times along the way. You made the hospital stay a bit more bearable. Funny story about that, the nurse was trying to take off my shoe so they could Xray the foot and she just untied it and tried to get it off. I was wearing my low cut hiking shoes so needless to say that caused me a bit of discomfort and got us nowhere. I don’t know about you, but if I need to take a shoe off an injured foot, I will unlace the darn thing until the laces are separate from the shoe, remove the tongue, and then try to take the shoe off. Oh well, no harm done. If I didn’t thank you personally, it’s not that I don’t appreciate your support and help, these past few days have just been a bit hectic for me.
. Sad to hear about the injury, but I know you'll be good, in time. And hopefully when that happens, we can finally get our shred on. Looking forward to the Arts Jam video.
