Ryan's Footblog: JOULUKALENTERI 2018!

[DC Clinks]

Keeping it meaty mm mmm.
[youtube]https://youtube.com/watch?v=R6PkDHuaXi8[/youtube]

[F[uns]tylin' Eclectic]

Yesss. Very nice highlights dude. The fact that you're up to Ducking Clipper x10 is really exciting. You could start pushing Ducking Butters now probably. We're both making improvements on Pixies! Props on that, too. You're going to have a solid Guiltless flowy game before you know it.

[Ryan_Morris]

Birthday sesh! Better than birthday sex? ...Or waaaay better than birthday sex?

Toe drifter > DLO was the drill of the day. Hit it both sides and got pretty close to bsos towards the end of the session. Any other day I would have continued until I hit the drill or hit the wall with my bag. But I don't want to be mad on my birthday. Today, I will let myself be quietly contented with an "almost" success.

[Ryan_Morris]

Valentimes Jam at Penn State!

What better way to spend this most momentous weekend in February than playing footbag with the PSU crew? Three days of shred actually feels pretty good.

On Friday, Nick Polini, Ivan, and I rolled into town in our separate modes of transportation and met up with Khoa, Greg, and Ben. I didn't play exceptionally well that day, but I had a few good-enough strings. After the session we all went back to Greg's place for chili and Tetris. If I ever get injured and have to give up footbag, I am going to take up competitive Tetris.

Footbag continued on Saturday. That was a short session for me, since I left early to go to my grandmother's 90th birthday party. Happy birthday, Grandma! Right before I left the session, some dickbag who works in the athletic building at Penn State kicked us out of the squash courts for not playing squash. I call bullshit because there weren't even any squash players trying to use our court! I call extra bullshit because the PSU crew has been using those courts for at least the past four winters, if not longer.

Later that night, we all went to see Deadpool. I can't recommend that movie enough. What's more, even hardcore fans of the comics were pleased. (Not an easy thing to do!) Ben Babyak, tell me where to start reading!

Anyway, today we had our final session of the weekend. Everybody was sore and tired, but we shredded on dutifully. I was super stoked to hit PLO x4 (new PB). When my legs got tired, I held onto a pull-up bar and did tricks in the air! We also got a soccer player to kick some hackysack with us! Cool guy. I hope he gets his whole team to do it.

I had a blast. I love hanging out with these guys. But no worries, Michigan Footbag, I'll be back on Monday

[F[uns]tylin' Eclectic]

I had a great time kicking with you. You may not think you played the greatest, but I was very impressed by your fluidity and consistency. It's all looking so solid. Maybe just try holding onto the bag a little longer before setting it, to improve string length. But your trick selection is really coming along and your freestyle flow is refreshing to watch. I had a great time with all of you guys. Sorry I bailed early. I wasn't feeling VDay. It wasn't because of anything with yous guys. Yous guys made me feel a lot better by just hanging out and being around yous all. I'll see you during Jamps or sooner. Keep pushing your crew in Michigan. Later man.

[Ryan_Morris]

Nick: I'm super glad I got to hang out with you that weekend, man. Thank you for your encouragement and advice. Looking back on it, I actually played better than usual, but my frustration often blinds me in the moment. I was a bit bummed that you had to leave early, but I absolutely do not take it personally. I hope you're feeling better now.


And now, let me tell you why I FEEL SO GOOD!

toe ss butterfly > stepping ss mirage repeat x4 (personal best)
ripwalk to ripwalk (personal first)

I am in love with the stepping! Matt Kemmer, the advice you gave me at NYJ has helped immensely. There is still much drilling to be done, but I can already see it starting to pay off.

Going back in time a few days, I had not one, but two sessions on Saturday. 60 degrees and sunny in a Michigan February is like finding a leprechaun riding a unicorn, and oh boy it was perfect. I was kicking solo outside my apartment for about an hour before Zach Jahner calls me up and asks if I want to have a session. Hell yeah! We both played pretty well. I had a lot of decent-length guiltless strings and I learned how to do diving pickup/legover.

<3 footbag

[Nathan8]

And now, let me tell you why I FEEL SO GOOD!

toe ss butterfly > stepping ss mirage repeat x4 (personal best)
ripwalk to ripwalk (personal first)

I am in love with the stepping! Matt Kemmer, the advice you gave me at NYJ has helped immensely. There is still much drilling to be done, but I can already see it starting to pay off.
<3 footbag

YYYEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS. This makes me so happy.

[F[uns]tylin' Eclectic]

Wooooo! Yeah, I knew that was coming for you soon. I don't know if you remember it, but we were walking around PSU when we both were in school (I think we were walking to or from a session) and I was telling you how I saw your legs were similar to mine and they are the kind of legs that are great for stepping sets. Well.. told ya I always knew Stepping would click for you and become one of your strong areas. Props, man. Ripwalk> Ripwalk is a really great milestone. Make it a really good milestone by hitting it b2b starting on your other side. The sooner you start working at that, the better.

[Ryan_Morris]

I really don't keep up with this blog anymore. Looks like Modified is pretty much dead, anyway. I suppose that makes this a good place to write some seriously negative shit. There's no reason to bum out the freestyle footbaggers facebook page, but I got some serious bitchin' to do and here it fucking goes.

Footbag makes me angry and depressed.

Let me back up. In the months since I last posted, there have been a lot of successful sessions and happy times I could have written about. I wish I could remember them more clearly right now, because it might help pull me out of this pit. Instead, I'm dwelling on how I've failed to show my best at every single competition in the five years I have been playing. Never once have I been satisfied with my performance in circle comp (and definitely not with the one time I tried a routine), not in intermediate and definitely not since I started competing in open. It never comes as a surprise. In the weeks before competition, I test my abilities to pre-assess how well I will do. It's never good. No matter how much I practice during the preceding months, it never culminates in a consistent improvement.

To be clear, I can do many things now that I could not do 1 or 2 years ago. But I still can't consistently freestyle. 10 guiltless is rare for me. Even BOPs escape me, mostly because my flip clipper has actually gotten worse despite constant practice. The past few months I tried to focus on only a few three-adds that I assumed I could more or less master: DLO, symp mirage, ducking clipper, pdx mirage. There have been moments where it seemed like I had these tricks consistently, but in the last two weeks I have done nothing but drop and drop and drop and drop. Whatever improvement I thought I made was apparently an illusion (no pun intended; I'm too angry for those). I simply cannot put together a decent string, even with my "core" concepts, much less any of the stepping or drifters or atomics or spinning I've drilled this year.

NYJ is coming up. In preparation, I have practiced 4-5 days a week for at least an hour per session for the past several months. It hurts--it's fucking embarrassing--to see how little I've progressed toward my goals. I tried to freestyle today. I did my very best and it was worthless. People who know me know that I lose my cool easily, but today was worse than usual. I have cuts and bruises on my hands from punching my floor and walls and doors and other objects. My shirt is in tatters and my shower curtain is no more. I feel lower than I can ever remember feeling. I want to scream and rage and break things, but my apartment neighbors would hear and there would be a lot of damage to pay for, so I'm resigned to this feeling of crushing defeat and hopelessness.

I had no illusions (shut up) of taking home any awards at NYJ, but I had hoped that by focusing on my core tricks I would at least be able to have some pride in showing my abilities. Right now I have no pride, no confidence, and no hope of ever achieving my goals.

I'm not going to quit footbag. I've had many god-awful sessions before--never this bad--but I always push through them because eventually I get one awesome session and I ride that high for a while. I'm posting because I need to bitch at an empty room. I have to put into writing how fucking bizarre it is that I play a sport that I hate 90% of the time, but still think about each day, all day.

I hope I feel better tomorrow because I don't know how much longer I can keep from smashing all my stuff.

[bustinjustin]

I identify with your post a lot.

1. I update my Modified blog often because it's nice to have a safe space to say whatever I want. Generally I make mundane progress updates, but I take solace knowing when I want to bitch about something, like how I'm so sick of seeing consecutive whirr, I can do so.

2. In my experience expectations are the enemy. They will make footbag harder. The more you expect, the more you convince yourself that you are at a particular level in footbag, the worse you will do. It fuels the anger, and while that pushes you to try harder the efforts are fruitless because they are misguided. It's taken me years to figure it out. To accept that I am only as good as how I'm able to perform at that moment, in that session, and be okay with it. As soon as you are okay with your ability and relaxed your footbag game will progress. Don't play to get better, don't think you have to see improvement. Focus on the work. Work as hard as you can. Find enjoyment in knowing you gave every ounce of effort you possible had into a session, whether good or bad. Once you let go of needing to see improvement and focus on enjoying every second you spend playing footbag you'll start improving faster than ever before. It will just happen.

3. How much are you filming yourself? How much film are you watching of your favorite players? You can speed up the improvement process when you are not playing as well. For years I would have a routine of watching my previous session, then playing and filming that session, then watching that session. I would get to reinforce the work I was putting in 3 x 1. I'd go into my next session having seen every drop, why I dropped and what I needed to do to change it. It's often making a subconscious adjustment to move your toe an inch over, or extend that clipper a little further out, or the flip side set is a little off compared to good side. Instead of working it out through hundreds of reps I know exactly what needs to change and I'm making those changes within 10 reps. I would then spend my nights, after watching all that footage of myself and knowing exactly what my game looked like, watching the players I wanted to mold my game after. Watching how Vasek lands when he completes a trick or how high he sets and where he dexes his blurry whirls, how Claven's foot is positioned when he completes barfly, how Gatesman's hips turn when he does pdx dirfter, where Lon and Allen put their hands when they spin, etc. I look for very specific things. I'm not watching their combos in awe or as a whole, I want to see a particular millisecond of a trick or combo over and over and over again until I can visualize my body doing the same thing. Then when I go play again, with a little effort my body naturally makes the change.

4. I did terrible in competitions for years, many of us do. Very few are somehow gifted in this regard. I think it was more than 10 years before I felt I played well at a tournament, so don't beat yourself up too much. You're on the right track.

5. I was the king of having pissed-off sessions when I was as far into footbag as you are now. Here's a clip from 2008 where I got so mad I was dropping a move I took off my shoe and threw it as hard as I could: https://youtu.be/ruaetX6WofI?t=477
The friend that made that video included the peaceful message at the end because I needed it.
I've punched my legs and feet so much I've lost track (why you no work right!?!). I've made myself miserable over combos, but none of it's worth it. This sport is a blessing and with patience your level will improve.

I've often thought watching your videos, "I wish we got to train together." Looking forward to our next session.

[boyle]

I really like that point number 2, I think that's a great piece of advice. Competition is hard, it's always a disappointment when you don't reach your aims. Most times I have competed in circles I have been a long way off what I hoped for. It could be worth trying routines a few more times, I like the process of creating and training for the routine.

[C-Fan]

Thanks for the super honest post. I think you'd be surprised how many people can relate to what you're going through. Mastering your temper and mental game is definitely a challenge, but its the only way to improve. I've been playing close to 20 years, and I still have sessions where I feel the old feelings of anger creeping back in.

I will say that it's worth it in the end though. I didn't feel good about any of my competition performances for the first 6 years or so of playing. It wasn't until my 9th year playing that I started feeling even somewhat consistent in comp, and not until the last couple years that I've felt like a "good" competitor. And even then, I still have moments in comp where I feel like I've let myself down, and I feel devastated. But when you do get that one good tournament, that one dropless routine, that one perfect Shred30...it makes it feel like it was all worthwhile.

You've put in the sweat and you obviously care about footbag. You've come this far...why not go just a bit farther? Work on controlling the emotions, play smart not hard (Justin's advice is great), and when you feel that anger coming on redirect it. Drill something else, try a different combo, set a new record for consec kicks, whatever. Make a point to not throw your bag, not punch anything. Reward yourself for making it through a session without doing these things. Stick with it.

[Ryan_Morris]

• ss clipper > ducking clipper rpt ~10 contacts

• butterfly > pdx mirage ~15 contacts

• butterfly > pdx illusion 8 contacts

• diving clipper > weaving clipper > ducking clipper repeat 6 contacts

Been struggling a lot with this link the past several sessions: toe ducking mirage > ss symp mirage

Did a few decent pixie sets, and several wimpy ones. Got smear a couple times flipside. Must remember to keep ankle and toes flexed out during the set so as to transfer more energy to the bag.

Changing my form on butterflies. Less dexing, more hip-turning. Also changing my clipper form (have been for like 2 years). As of now, strong side and weak side have flipped, and my left side (now weak) clipper hits the ground a lot. Learning how to move the stalling leg less, and the planting leg more.

Trying to make this "shred 16" consistent. I hit it twice several sessions ago, but not since
Toe DLO > toe ducking clipper > diving clipper > pdx mirage, repeat flipside
toe ducking mirage > ss symp mirage, repeat flipside
butterfly > pdx illusion, repeat flipside

Justin and Ken, I never thanked you for the encouraging words above. Thank you. And thanks, Justin, for your recent mentoring. It's helping in a lot of ways.

[boyle]

I find a good exercise for improving the clipper strength is this one - you do an inside stall down low, hold it for about 5 seconds, then raise it up to a "high" inside stall. Do a wrap and do the same thing (low then high) with clipper, then change to the other foot. Keep doing this until you drop it, then do it again a few times for good measure.

Sounds like you are putting a lot of thought into the movements of the body to keep learning more tricks, nice work getting the pixie sets on the improve.

[Muffinman]

Good work on the drills.
If you're really struggling with the ducking mirage > near symp mirage drill, why not try dialing it back to weaving toe stall > near mirage and repeat for at least, like 12 contacts.

Also how's your osis?
Could you do pdx mirage > butterfly > osis repeat?
And osis > far osis repeat?

What about 30 contacts of tiltless?


I can't picture ho you do butterflies, but it helps to try to just fall into the trick instead of attacking it or jumping into it.
I look forward to shredding with you again at NYJ!

[Ryan_Morris]

From today:

• Ducking clipper: best consecutive = 9, total reps = 51, average consecutive = 4.6

• DLO: best consecutive (personal record) = 11, total = 25

• ss butterfly (left/right): best consecutive = 3/3, total = 15/12

• ragequit

@ Dan: That sounds like a good warm up. I'll try it! Thanks!
Btw, wanna come to New Years Jam?

@Erik: My osis isn't great, but not for lack of trying. Been working more on osis and butterfly lately with Justin Dale. I do the pdx mirage > butter > osis drill regularly, and the best I can remember doing is ~12 contacts. I don't do much far osis. 30 tiltless is no problem and I always warm up with a bunch of tiltless drills.
So stoked you're coming to NYJ!!! Let's get a circle going, since I haven't really shredded with you all that much, even though we've been to a bunch of jams together. Hopefully I can show you some real progress by then!

[boyle]

A bit far for me, though I would love to come some year. Sounds like a fun event.

[Tjuggles]

Good practicing brah. Any vids to show?

[Ryan_Morris]

@TJ: I don't have any video that I think is worth sharing right now. Maybe by the end of the year.

Had a great time doing a two-man session with Adam Keith today. First good session in weeks. I've been struggling with all the things from my last post and I'm getting pretty pissed off.

From today:
New trick! Diving osis on both sides
Mid-string stepping
Stepping ss clipper > spinning clipper
Adam said my gyro mirage looked good
A few decent guiltless strings

[Muffinman]

Good stuff