"Hello, My name is Hans!"
Bizzare session stories.
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NotHisRealName
- Post Master General
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- Joined: 26 Oct 2002 03:43
- Location: Brisbane, Australia
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Spadrick
- Atomsmashasaurus Dex
- Posts: 859
- Joined: 04 May 2003 17:15
- Location: Toronto Ontario, Canada
My story isn's as grand as some of these, but still pretty good.
One saturday, I came out to the park early for the shred that was to take place that day. Beautiful park to say the least, frequented by docile homeless people, never any trouble. But this saturday would be different. I just got to the park after going to the store to buy two bottles of Gatorade. I got to the park and started stretching and i cracked open one of the bottles of Gatorade. This guy in a kilt, on a bike, with a barbell (100 pounds or less to give you an idea) on his handlebars, high socks, no teeth and crazy shoes stops in the middle of the park, right beside me.
I thought he was going to challenge me to a bagpipe contest, if you have seen that Money Mart commercial on TV, for ' Dear old uncle angus to lend you 200 dollars till next payday ' he was like that. So he sees me drinking and pulls up and asks me for a spi of my water. Not wanting to spoil a whole bottle, i reached in my bag and pulled out the other bottle and said "Here".
Figured I would do my good deed for the day, as I watched him down it all in one gulp. Afterwards he exclaimed, "I AM REFRESHED! FROM GATORADE! DRINK OF THE GODS!!!".
A little weirded out, I started to shred, he went off behind a tree and started removing layers of clothing and lifting his barbell up and down like a weightlifter.
Johnny and Jarrett showed up.
I told em about the guy and he came back from wherever he went. He started talking about porridge and cream of wheat, and how they were the most wholesome of meals.
Then he started dropping leaves and stuff into our circle where we were kicking. We were sitting having a break and he came back from some churches and dropped some church flyers into the cirlce.
Later we saw him get kicked out of a church from riding his bike into it. There was lots more crazy stuff that he was sayin, but it was all schitzo.
One saturday, I came out to the park early for the shred that was to take place that day. Beautiful park to say the least, frequented by docile homeless people, never any trouble. But this saturday would be different. I just got to the park after going to the store to buy two bottles of Gatorade. I got to the park and started stretching and i cracked open one of the bottles of Gatorade. This guy in a kilt, on a bike, with a barbell (100 pounds or less to give you an idea) on his handlebars, high socks, no teeth and crazy shoes stops in the middle of the park, right beside me.
I thought he was going to challenge me to a bagpipe contest, if you have seen that Money Mart commercial on TV, for ' Dear old uncle angus to lend you 200 dollars till next payday ' he was like that. So he sees me drinking and pulls up and asks me for a spi of my water. Not wanting to spoil a whole bottle, i reached in my bag and pulled out the other bottle and said "Here".
Figured I would do my good deed for the day, as I watched him down it all in one gulp. Afterwards he exclaimed, "I AM REFRESHED! FROM GATORADE! DRINK OF THE GODS!!!".
A little weirded out, I started to shred, he went off behind a tree and started removing layers of clothing and lifting his barbell up and down like a weightlifter.
Johnny and Jarrett showed up.
I told em about the guy and he came back from wherever he went. He started talking about porridge and cream of wheat, and how they were the most wholesome of meals.
Then he started dropping leaves and stuff into our circle where we were kicking. We were sitting having a break and he came back from some churches and dropped some church flyers into the cirlce.
Later we saw him get kicked out of a church from riding his bike into it. There was lots more crazy stuff that he was sayin, but it was all schitzo.
Adam Dexter
Rory and I were kicking on the HMV stage again. Usually we don't get trouble if it's just the two of us. The time we got kicked out, there was like 6 of us.
Anyway.
I'm shredding, did a decent run, and caught out of the corner of my eye, these three kids, maybe 14 years old, "Popular choch"-style. I finish up, pass teh bag to Rory, and glance over at them.
The one kid did the ever so popular "mimic the funny man playing hacky sack" thing. Then the next kid pulls out a book of matches, and gestures to his friend like he should light it and throw it onto the stage at us.
His friend takes it from him, pulls a match off, and then looks at me, and suddenly realizes I'm standing a lot closer than I was before, and I've been watching him for the past 30 seconds. They all look startled and were like....weakened or someshit, like their "tough popular guy" image had run thin.
I just said, "You're kidding right?", kinda pissed off.
"What?"
"You're still holding the matches."
"Oh we...uhh..."
"Grow up. Fuck off."
And they left. Stupid fuckers.
Anyway.
I'm shredding, did a decent run, and caught out of the corner of my eye, these three kids, maybe 14 years old, "Popular choch"-style. I finish up, pass teh bag to Rory, and glance over at them.
The one kid did the ever so popular "mimic the funny man playing hacky sack" thing. Then the next kid pulls out a book of matches, and gestures to his friend like he should light it and throw it onto the stage at us.
His friend takes it from him, pulls a match off, and then looks at me, and suddenly realizes I'm standing a lot closer than I was before, and I've been watching him for the past 30 seconds. They all look startled and were like....weakened or someshit, like their "tough popular guy" image had run thin.
I just said, "You're kidding right?", kinda pissed off.
"What?"
"You're still holding the matches."
"Oh we...uhh..."
"Grow up. Fuck off."
And they left. Stupid fuckers.
- Kevin R.
F = G*((m1*m2)/r^2)
Know thy enemy.
F = G*((m1*m2)/r^2)
Know thy enemy.
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Chris Hanratty
- Mr. Jokey...Joke Maker
- Posts: 1419
- Joined: 17 Nov 2003 12:48
- Location: Nova Scotia
OH, MAN!!! Thanks for the memory!Damon wrote:Then around the corner rolls out a crippled war veteran with one leg.
That was hilarious, and you really tell stories well; even as good as Sunil! Just wanted to mention, that crazy guy in the wheel chair was arrested one day (maybe a month after our altercation) for taking a shit in a washing machine at the corner laundromat! Can you imagine??
Yeah, i really do feel sorry for guys like that. I can imagine losing my mind- God knows I have temporarily- so I think a little compassion is in order.
Man, that day was really disturbing. Damon, you forgot to mention that both the wheelchair and bmx rider incidents took place on the same day.
Just goes to show, you never know what's going to happen at Mission Beach. 
Oh, god I miss that place!Ellis Piltz
Flipsider, The New.
Flipsider, The New.