These are the Chronicles of Tsiangkun Tzu, do not post or reply to this thread.
I can be reached at Tsiangkun at priest dot com.
Tsiangkun Tzu -Unearthed Chronicles
***Cracker What ? **** 6.24.04
So i'm at the park yesterday doing my shred and this
little kid comes out of nowhere and asks if he can
have some of my water. The Drinking fountain is
about 25 yards away from the kick spot, so I tell
him no, but there is a drinking fountain right over
there.
This young lady hears this, and starts screaming
"that cracker won't share his water with the black
kid. You don't want none of that white water" .. .
cracker this, honkey that,racist in the park, devil
something or another. Clearly she is trying to get
one of the many people in the park to kick the crap
out of me. So I start sizing up the poeple in the
area, and determine that if need be, I can take on
two at a time. Oh yeah, I haven't had a cig in two
weeks, so I am just looking for a reason to unload
on someone.
I watch her go around telling her story to everyone
in the park, but nobody really seems too interested,
so I just keep playing. About 30 minutes later
she comes back walking with 5 dudes. I spotted them
about 100 yards away, across the park. I just keep
playing, and by the time they get about 40 feet
away, only two of them are still walking with her.
I figure I have time for another run, so I do some
more heinous shit, and another one turns around and
walks back to the group of other pansies.
Now it looks like it's gonna be two on 1, so I throw
down the bag and start walking towards them with the
"what the fuck do you want to do about it" arm position. As I'm
walking towards him, one of the local ballers grabs
the last dude and says something like "I know him,
he's cool ". So i get to the guy, and he says
something like "I'm cool, just a misunderstanding".
*SWEET*
*OR IS IT *
So he leaves, and I get back to the session . . .
this stupid ass bitch starts talking that devil
cracker honkey shit again running around like a
lunatic with a 8 foot stick up and down the ball
court. Eventually she finds some more people
somewhere, but as soon as they round the corner,
they say "oh, I know him, he's cool". I start
laughing, because it's just too damn funny not too.
She takes a swing with the stick and I catch the
thing and rip it away from her. Then I loose my
temper. "Look bitch, you've been walking around this
park for almost an hour now just trying to get
somebody to beat me up. Let me help you out. "
EXCUSE ME, CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE. IS
THERE ANYBODY HERE THAT CARES TO DEFEND THIS LADIES
CRIES OF RACISM BECAUSE I DIDN"T SHARE MY WATER
BOTTLE ? "
Then I explain the situation to her. I'm the only
white guy in the park. EVERYDAY, I'm the only white
guy in the park. Everyone here knows what I do when
I come here, and I don't cause trouble, I'm good to
the kids, and I talk with the parents. You already
been up to everyone, nobody hears what your're
saying, your credibility isn't as strong as my mine
in this park, regardless of my skin color. Eventually
she gets in her car and drives back to her own hood,
and I get to finish my session.
I'm glad I put in all those hours in the park making
sure I was established as the new guyin the
neighborhood . . . I think it might have saved me
from a beat down.
So i'm at the park yesterday doing my shred and this
little kid comes out of nowhere and asks if he can
have some of my water. The Drinking fountain is
about 25 yards away from the kick spot, so I tell
him no, but there is a drinking fountain right over
there.
This young lady hears this, and starts screaming
"that cracker won't share his water with the black
kid. You don't want none of that white water" .. .
cracker this, honkey that,racist in the park, devil
something or another. Clearly she is trying to get
one of the many people in the park to kick the crap
out of me. So I start sizing up the poeple in the
area, and determine that if need be, I can take on
two at a time. Oh yeah, I haven't had a cig in two
weeks, so I am just looking for a reason to unload
on someone.
I watch her go around telling her story to everyone
in the park, but nobody really seems too interested,
so I just keep playing. About 30 minutes later
she comes back walking with 5 dudes. I spotted them
about 100 yards away, across the park. I just keep
playing, and by the time they get about 40 feet
away, only two of them are still walking with her.
I figure I have time for another run, so I do some
more heinous shit, and another one turns around and
walks back to the group of other pansies.
Now it looks like it's gonna be two on 1, so I throw
down the bag and start walking towards them with the
"what the fuck do you want to do about it" arm position. As I'm
walking towards him, one of the local ballers grabs
the last dude and says something like "I know him,
he's cool ". So i get to the guy, and he says
something like "I'm cool, just a misunderstanding".
*SWEET*
*OR IS IT *
So he leaves, and I get back to the session . . .
this stupid ass bitch starts talking that devil
cracker honkey shit again running around like a
lunatic with a 8 foot stick up and down the ball
court. Eventually she finds some more people
somewhere, but as soon as they round the corner,
they say "oh, I know him, he's cool". I start
laughing, because it's just too damn funny not too.
She takes a swing with the stick and I catch the
thing and rip it away from her. Then I loose my
temper. "Look bitch, you've been walking around this
park for almost an hour now just trying to get
somebody to beat me up. Let me help you out. "
EXCUSE ME, CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE. IS
THERE ANYBODY HERE THAT CARES TO DEFEND THIS LADIES
CRIES OF RACISM BECAUSE I DIDN"T SHARE MY WATER
BOTTLE ? "
Then I explain the situation to her. I'm the only
white guy in the park. EVERYDAY, I'm the only white
guy in the park. Everyone here knows what I do when
I come here, and I don't cause trouble, I'm good to
the kids, and I talk with the parents. You already
been up to everyone, nobody hears what your're
saying, your credibility isn't as strong as my mine
in this park, regardless of my skin color. Eventually
she gets in her car and drives back to her own hood,
and I get to finish my session.
I'm glad I put in all those hours in the park making
sure I was established as the new guyin the
neighborhood . . . I think it might have saved me
from a beat down.
-
richardabshire
- Fearless
- Posts: 606
- Joined: 07 Nov 2003 19:27
- Location: San Diego, California
Holy shit Cameron. Shredding hard in Oakland earns you a rep in the hood. Your street cred is through the roof and will stay that way. You know though, you have to go epic all the time now. Haha, you already do. Keep it up and remember, if you see a gun, run run run run run and live to shred another day.Richie
log of the general; 04f2
So my coach was in the park again the other day. It's always interesting to hear what other people think you should do to hit the tricks. Apparently this guy knows dance moves or something. He kept drawing comparisons between how a drifter is just like a such such and shuffle is sorta like something or another. He might not know a thing about dance, and just be another unemployed homeless dude that used to have a good life. Who knows. All I can be sure of is that he watches shred and then feels compelled to toss me the bag so I don't have to do it myself, and tell me his opinion of what I hit.
Anyhow he watches for a while, before he goes into coach mode. His advice generally centers on three things.
I need to stop looking at the damn bag, because I never have problems catching it. Quit focusing on the bag, and pay more attention to what I am doing with my legs.
I need to quit thinking about moving my leg over the bag and just do it like the other side. I'm thinking too much and not moving enough.
I need to stop watching the bag hit my leg, and start watching the bag come up like the other side.
I think it's pretty sound advice for someone that doesn't know what he's watching.
blurrier-:->blurrywhirl-:->blurriest-:->pdxmrg-:->pixiewhirl-:->pdxwrl-:->
pdxwrl-:->pdxwrl-:->fog-:->pixie dbl ovrdwn-:->drifter-:->ps whirl-:->
osis-:->drifter-:->dn dbl dn.
Player.setMaxFiveCount(6);
Anyhow he watches for a while, before he goes into coach mode. His advice generally centers on three things.
I need to stop looking at the damn bag, because I never have problems catching it. Quit focusing on the bag, and pay more attention to what I am doing with my legs.
I need to quit thinking about moving my leg over the bag and just do it like the other side. I'm thinking too much and not moving enough.
I need to stop watching the bag hit my leg, and start watching the bag come up like the other side.
I think it's pretty sound advice for someone that doesn't know what he's watching.
blurrier-:->blurrywhirl-:->blurriest-:->pdxmrg-:->pixiewhirl-:->pdxwrl-:->
pdxwrl-:->pdxwrl-:->fog-:->pixie dbl ovrdwn-:->drifter-:->ps whirl-:->
osis-:->drifter-:->dn dbl dn.
Player.setMaxFiveCount(6);
-
the Executioner
- BSOS Beast
- Posts: 447
- Joined: 13 Mar 2003 16:18
- Location: Laurel, MD
log of the general--04g12
I took my first vacation in 10 years the past week. I got to see old friends and friends my brother and sister have. I missed my sister growing up. It was a special time to get to catch up and get to know my family a little better. I was able to contact every person who I considered a friend except one, and spent quality time with all of them. Some of them are married with children, others are finishing up medical programs and looking for work. Two of my best friends are gay, and scared for their jobs.
I didn't get my lansing crew [Grasshopper footbag club] to contact me, but Smoothie is as ready to kick as he was back in 96 when I met him at the flint Xmas jam. I traveled to Ann Arbor on memory and met up with him and TJ and kicked for about 3.5 hours. I didn't hit too much, been sitting too long in a car for too many days in a row. I got off most of my combos, and for using a sandbag I thought I did ok. I'm not bagging on the sandbags, it's just a slight difference that I'm not used too. He wasn't into the mini abshire, so I figure home field must come with some advantages and used the MR, and mostly played by the no self serve rules.
I hit blurrywhirl-:->blurrywhirl a few times, and was pretty stoked on that. I also whipped out a few shooting mirages, which I never did before. GF hit a bunch of sick 6 and 7 add tricks, and some rediculous routine combos I hadn't seen before. I guess he and TJ were tired from the 4 hour session the day previous.
I showed my parents my shred, and they were typically unimpressed. As I get older, the rain makes it hard to kick . . . as does the 5am time of day I was playing.
Yesterday, on 40 hours without sleep, I played in the park. I hit everything I wanted to hit. I can't say there was anything exceptional, but it was solid.
I met a juggler who kicked with me for a bit. DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW who is the shredder that it one of the best players in the world, has tatoos on his leg[s], and can do foot and hand juggling and the same time ??? He is also described as crazy with juggling clubs, and 5 ball tricks is his game. It's not tim kelly, he knew him. Somewhere around Eureka ???
Oh well, it was a good past week. Glad I could return to oaktown in time to deal with a catastrophic computer failure.
--Tsiangkun
I didn't get my lansing crew [Grasshopper footbag club] to contact me, but Smoothie is as ready to kick as he was back in 96 when I met him at the flint Xmas jam. I traveled to Ann Arbor on memory and met up with him and TJ and kicked for about 3.5 hours. I didn't hit too much, been sitting too long in a car for too many days in a row. I got off most of my combos, and for using a sandbag I thought I did ok. I'm not bagging on the sandbags, it's just a slight difference that I'm not used too. He wasn't into the mini abshire, so I figure home field must come with some advantages and used the MR, and mostly played by the no self serve rules.
I hit blurrywhirl-:->blurrywhirl a few times, and was pretty stoked on that. I also whipped out a few shooting mirages, which I never did before. GF hit a bunch of sick 6 and 7 add tricks, and some rediculous routine combos I hadn't seen before. I guess he and TJ were tired from the 4 hour session the day previous.
I showed my parents my shred, and they were typically unimpressed. As I get older, the rain makes it hard to kick . . . as does the 5am time of day I was playing.
Yesterday, on 40 hours without sleep, I played in the park. I hit everything I wanted to hit. I can't say there was anything exceptional, but it was solid.
I met a juggler who kicked with me for a bit. DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW who is the shredder that it one of the best players in the world, has tatoos on his leg[s], and can do foot and hand juggling and the same time ??? He is also described as crazy with juggling clubs, and 5 ball tricks is his game. It's not tim kelly, he knew him. Somewhere around Eureka ???
Oh well, it was a good past week. Glad I could return to oaktown in time to deal with a catastrophic computer failure.
--Tsiangkun
log of the general 04g13
On people choosing to be gay.
I've taken this from the discussion section to my blog here to post my final thoughts on the matter. I believe what I do, others think differently.
In the opinion of my self,
saying one chooses to be gay is the same as saying I choose to have a thick beard and hairy body, or the squirrel choose not to be a bird, or the sun chooses to display it's radiance daily. You are what you are, and you know it without having to choose between anything. Anything that would place an artificial limit on the self, is in it's very nature a violation of what I believe to be the greatest rights granted with sentience.
How would life feel if you were constantly aware that you were unable to be yourself, or even worse; you are not yourself.
--Tsiangkun
There is already a nice discussion rolling on this elsewhere, comment there to avoid clogging this thread. [/b]
I've taken this from the discussion section to my blog here to post my final thoughts on the matter. I believe what I do, others think differently.
In the opinion of my self,
saying one chooses to be gay is the same as saying I choose to have a thick beard and hairy body, or the squirrel choose not to be a bird, or the sun chooses to display it's radiance daily. You are what you are, and you know it without having to choose between anything. Anything that would place an artificial limit on the self, is in it's very nature a violation of what I believe to be the greatest rights granted with sentience.
How would life feel if you were constantly aware that you were unable to be yourself, or even worse; you are not yourself.
--Tsiangkun
There is already a nice discussion rolling on this elsewhere, comment there to avoid clogging this thread. [/b]
Isn't it great to track packages in realtime. Mine left the werehouse, traveled for 12 hours, arrived at the same werehouse it left earlier that day, got reshipped, went back in time, AND got delivered to the wrong address. Sweet. Just fucking sweet. I thought my shoes would make it for another few weeks, but they are toast and I really want to know what's going on with my shoes.Package Progress:
Jul 23, 2004
10:58 A.M.
EARTH CITY, MO, USA--DEPARTURE SCAN
Jul 22, 2004
7:44 P.M.
EARTH CITY, MO, USA--ORIGIN SCAN
BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED
Apr 21, 2003
4:54 P.M.
E. SYRACUSE, NY, US--DELIVERY
Tracking results provided by UPS: Jul 26, 2004 6:04 P.M. Eastern Time (USA)
If anyone out there is living in April, 2003 could you check and see if you got my shoes by mistake ?
Yes, My shoes have been delivered to the FRONT DOOR. I really hope my package is on it's way to my door. I'm reasonably sure the tracking results are a computer error. I have a bad fealing that my shoes are never going to make it to my home.Status:
Delivered
Delivered on:
Apr 21, 2003 4:54 P.M.
Location:
FRONT DOOR
Delivered to:
SYRACUSE, NY, US
Shipped or Billed on:
Jul 22, 2004
log of the general 04i2
*** PRO SHRED TOUR IN CALIFORNIA *** (*)
So I have been kicking well lately. Then I rolled one ankle and crushed another. Unfortunately Ales was in town, and Torch was playing again. I had to play, so I did. Four ruthless sessions of supercollosso length. I could barely walk for a few days without the pain being a conscious reminder of why I hate pain. I iced and rested for a few days. I still kick it in the park.
Since I wasn't playing, I had time to chill out a bit and kick it with a few neighbors. I've met blu, naz, and jerome a few times. We kick it over blunt fire on occasion. Blu was the dude that helped me out of the water boy incident (WBI). He said he was supposed to meet me because I have the balance. Amina is a nice girl I see everyday. Prolly 12-13 yo ?, doesn't seam to have any interest in playing. She doesn't think I belong in the park. Kids are so cute. Preacher I met a while ago, and didn't hear from him for a while. I had been kicking less due to injury.
Preacher. Preacher is an organizer for "private" parties. He asked me to perform at a series of events throughout California. I'm definately down to perform once a (month or week) I forget, for a event series.
So like I said I'm down, and I can do this solo. He think it would be dope if we did something like my idea. SO let me tell ya, about my idea.
There is the DJ and the emcee entertainment doing their thang. We have the stage, for up to 30 minutes. We want this to be tight, and not get boring. Our job is to keep the jaws open while they get ready for the next event back stage. Preacher and I kinda thought 12 minutes would be sweet. The music is kicking. The crowd is invite only. The time is 7pm. The scene is strictly ghetto. (think "Southern" fried chicken blunt typd of g h e t t o )
No, Seriously. Is anyone down for this yet ?
The format I think would work is a modified "I" formation. Instead of operating out of a low profile "I" formation, we switch to the stage filling "--" formation. Players bounce around like they can dance. Who ever is fealing the beat calls for the bag, and busts the bestist bling strings "for the crowd". You wouldn't need to be "pro". This crowd has never seen footbag. Most of them never seen a srawny white boy upclose. This isn't a low pressure environment, quite the opposite. You would need to have a sense of rhythm. Seriously. You need to be able to play on the beat to please the crowd for this show. Anyone interested yet ?
The level doesn't have to be guiltless or anything close to it, it's not a competition. This is a paid performance. Tight and entertaining. Whatever you think it the dopest thing you can present to the crowd, for the crowd. It's $200 for 15 minutes on a tuesday night in the oakland underground. It's moving out of oakland and head ing south in a few weeks . . .
Is anyone out of the oak looking to make some ca$h ?
The event we are filling is an applebottom contest. Anyone interested yet ?
Have you Ever wanted to be in a hiphop video ??? Oakland footbag, thats where we are headed. Our net team is #1 in the world, and our freestyler parties with the Apple bottom contest. Someone should move to oakland to participate in this rare opportunity to promote footbag across race and economic boundaries. Anyone interested yet ?
Prizes ($$) are given out to the guests too, so don't bring no hideous scags, or dud ass dudes. Even if you never had a date before, beautiful shallow people are dying to go to these secret events. Just post an ad on the internet saying something like
" Hot Apple Bottom wanted for underground contest $$$$$ , send $40 and your cell number to $ADDRESS. "
Anyone interested yet ? I didn't think so. I told Preach I would check and see if anyone else was interested. Oh well. I'm definately down for the oaktown event in a few weeks. I'm dying to check this out.
--
*ok, it isn't a shred tour. It's an apple bottom contest featuring shred during the event breaks. $200, massage table, apple bottom event, after party (GET CRUNK.GET CRUNK), security, lower probability of violence than if you aren't a performer at the event
So I have been kicking well lately. Then I rolled one ankle and crushed another. Unfortunately Ales was in town, and Torch was playing again. I had to play, so I did. Four ruthless sessions of supercollosso length. I could barely walk for a few days without the pain being a conscious reminder of why I hate pain. I iced and rested for a few days. I still kick it in the park.
Since I wasn't playing, I had time to chill out a bit and kick it with a few neighbors. I've met blu, naz, and jerome a few times. We kick it over blunt fire on occasion. Blu was the dude that helped me out of the water boy incident (WBI). He said he was supposed to meet me because I have the balance. Amina is a nice girl I see everyday. Prolly 12-13 yo ?, doesn't seam to have any interest in playing. She doesn't think I belong in the park. Kids are so cute. Preacher I met a while ago, and didn't hear from him for a while. I had been kicking less due to injury.
Preacher. Preacher is an organizer for "private" parties. He asked me to perform at a series of events throughout California. I'm definately down to perform once a (month or week) I forget, for a event series.
So like I said I'm down, and I can do this solo. He think it would be dope if we did something like my idea. SO let me tell ya, about my idea.
There is the DJ and the emcee entertainment doing their thang. We have the stage, for up to 30 minutes. We want this to be tight, and not get boring. Our job is to keep the jaws open while they get ready for the next event back stage. Preacher and I kinda thought 12 minutes would be sweet. The music is kicking. The crowd is invite only. The time is 7pm. The scene is strictly ghetto. (think "Southern" fried chicken blunt typd of g h e t t o )
No, Seriously. Is anyone down for this yet ?The format I think would work is a modified "I" formation. Instead of operating out of a low profile "I" formation, we switch to the stage filling "--" formation. Players bounce around like they can dance. Who ever is fealing the beat calls for the bag, and busts the bestist bling strings "for the crowd". You wouldn't need to be "pro". This crowd has never seen footbag. Most of them never seen a srawny white boy upclose. This isn't a low pressure environment, quite the opposite. You would need to have a sense of rhythm. Seriously. You need to be able to play on the beat to please the crowd for this show. Anyone interested yet ?
The level doesn't have to be guiltless or anything close to it, it's not a competition. This is a paid performance. Tight and entertaining. Whatever you think it the dopest thing you can present to the crowd, for the crowd. It's $200 for 15 minutes on a tuesday night in the oakland underground. It's moving out of oakland and head ing south in a few weeks . . .
Is anyone out of the oak looking to make some ca$h ?
The event we are filling is an applebottom contest. Anyone interested yet ?
Have you Ever wanted to be in a hiphop video ??? Oakland footbag, thats where we are headed. Our net team is #1 in the world, and our freestyler parties with the Apple bottom contest. Someone should move to oakland to participate in this rare opportunity to promote footbag across race and economic boundaries. Anyone interested yet ?
Prizes ($$) are given out to the guests too, so don't bring no hideous scags, or dud ass dudes. Even if you never had a date before, beautiful shallow people are dying to go to these secret events. Just post an ad on the internet saying something like
" Hot Apple Bottom wanted for underground contest $$$$$ , send $40 and your cell number to $ADDRESS. "
Anyone interested yet ? I didn't think so. I told Preach I would check and see if anyone else was interested. Oh well. I'm definately down for the oaktown event in a few weeks. I'm dying to check this out.
--
*ok, it isn't a shred tour. It's an apple bottom contest featuring shred during the event breaks. $200, massage table, apple bottom event, after party (GET CRUNK.GET CRUNK), security, lower probability of violence than if you aren't a performer at the event
I talked to preacher last night. We think November would be a good time to bring the show to SD. I know renegade is down to shred an ass contest . . . and J could prolly be convinced to join in too. We won't know if the event is self sustaining or not until we throw a few to get the ball rolling.
OOOOOOOOH
I think I found the name for my company, my companies product line, and my crew of sponsored individuals. It's a pretty good name. Everything around here revolves around this name. People get rich off it, fight wars over it, spend their lives on worrying about getting the next bit, it's what makes the world go `round,and the name has that street edge that will make the white kid in the burbs want to be a part of the action too. Oh, and I left myself with infinite logo opportunities, but I need the first one to be the bomb for recognition purposes before branching out.
I Just need to find some artists to mock up logo designs and brochures.
I have some killer ideas for sweatshirts designs that I want to get made ASAP to start hyping the branding.
The October Oakland show is going down October 9th, unoffical apple bottom show.
I'm bored, I'll write more later.
OOOOOOOOH
I think I found the name for my company, my companies product line, and my crew of sponsored individuals. It's a pretty good name. Everything around here revolves around this name. People get rich off it, fight wars over it, spend their lives on worrying about getting the next bit, it's what makes the world go `round,and the name has that street edge that will make the white kid in the burbs want to be a part of the action too. Oh, and I left myself with infinite logo opportunities, but I need the first one to be the bomb for recognition purposes before branching out.
I Just need to find some artists to mock up logo designs and brochures.
I have some killer ideas for sweatshirts designs that I want to get made ASAP to start hyping the branding.
The October Oakland show is going down October 9th, unoffical apple bottom show.
I'm bored, I'll write more later.
Log of the general 04i16
Stupid presta valves.
So here I am, 5:78 AM (6:18, but 5:78 sounds earlier) , I have my flak jacket on . . . my bags are packed and I'm out the door . . . but wait, maybe I should check my tire pressure.
So I check the pressure, and I"m running low, only about 65 psi in the tubes, and I normally ride these crappy rubbers at 115 psi. I decide to pump them up a bit, and PSSSSSHSSTSTSSSHSTS I broke the friggin valve on the back tire . . .which means I don't have time to change it and clean up the greasy hands and ride to work.
So I dump out my backpack and grab some shred grear and head to work. It sucks kicking in the morning. I managed to get loosened up and hit a few things. I hit two nice barraging sets, one per side. I hit a few combos that I won't mention because the only person who thinks they are cool is me.
So anyways, I'm kicking in this red rectangle that no cars are supposed to park in . . . when this BMW driving heifer approaches. I dropped my bag, and I'm about to pick it up when I am forced to dive for my life as the Latte sippiing, Jerry Springer watching, cell phone holding bitch comes flying into the no parking zone. My bag is now under her car, so I crawl under and fish it out.
This bitch gives me some shit about how I need to grow up and be a responsible adult.
I make some snide remarks before she launches into the typical rant about pot smoking hippie hacksack . . . and I cut her short.
" Watch this trick very carefully. * Drop bag on toe * Ta Dah ! "
"sooooo", said she , even though I thought the cow said 'MOOOOOO'.
"SO ??? SOOOOOOO ??? I don't think you realized what I just showed you. I'll break it down for you, so you can appreciate it.
I can see your feet.
You can see my feet.
I can see my own feet, but
you can not see your own feet .
This simple trick would require tons of commitment and personal responsibility on your part
just to loose enough weight to see your feet again. Only then would you have any chance to see the bag land on your foot. "
*oh boy, you should have seen the look on her face once she realized I just called her fat *
She left, understandably. I wouldn't want to talk to a pissed off shredder that I almost hit with my car that just called me a fat ass either.
I finished my session, grabbed a shower and started work.
Stupid ass presta valves.
So here I am, 5:78 AM (6:18, but 5:78 sounds earlier) , I have my flak jacket on . . . my bags are packed and I'm out the door . . . but wait, maybe I should check my tire pressure.
So I check the pressure, and I"m running low, only about 65 psi in the tubes, and I normally ride these crappy rubbers at 115 psi. I decide to pump them up a bit, and PSSSSSHSSTSTSSSHSTS I broke the friggin valve on the back tire . . .which means I don't have time to change it and clean up the greasy hands and ride to work.
So I dump out my backpack and grab some shred grear and head to work. It sucks kicking in the morning. I managed to get loosened up and hit a few things. I hit two nice barraging sets, one per side. I hit a few combos that I won't mention because the only person who thinks they are cool is me.
So anyways, I'm kicking in this red rectangle that no cars are supposed to park in . . . when this BMW driving heifer approaches. I dropped my bag, and I'm about to pick it up when I am forced to dive for my life as the Latte sippiing, Jerry Springer watching, cell phone holding bitch comes flying into the no parking zone. My bag is now under her car, so I crawl under and fish it out.
This bitch gives me some shit about how I need to grow up and be a responsible adult.
I make some snide remarks before she launches into the typical rant about pot smoking hippie hacksack . . . and I cut her short.
" Watch this trick very carefully. * Drop bag on toe * Ta Dah ! "
"sooooo", said she , even though I thought the cow said 'MOOOOOO'.
"SO ??? SOOOOOOO ??? I don't think you realized what I just showed you. I'll break it down for you, so you can appreciate it.
I can see your feet.
You can see my feet.
I can see my own feet, but
you can not see your own feet .
This simple trick would require tons of commitment and personal responsibility on your part
just to loose enough weight to see your feet again. Only then would you have any chance to see the bag land on your foot. "
*oh boy, you should have seen the look on her face once she realized I just called her fat *
She left, understandably. I wouldn't want to talk to a pissed off shredder that I almost hit with my car that just called me a fat ass either.
I finished my session, grabbed a shower and started work.
Stupid ass presta valves.