boyfriend age..is myn to old?

drewzbaby · Post by **drewzbaby** » 17 Sep 2004 19:49

k yall im 14 my bf is 18 we are engaged my gma(leagal gardian) knows bout it and is fine with it. is it ok to be together if we dont do anything sexual?? hope so.

Whatsfootbag? · Post by **Whatsfootbag?** » 17 Sep 2004 20:13

footbag?

Shredster · Post by **Shredster** » 17 Sep 2004 20:25

Wow...amazing how much i can barely understand what you just said.

As long as your happy...

I guess...

My parents would never allow that, thats for sure...

HooD · Post by **HooD** » 17 Sep 2004 20:30

Don't be fooled by this person, he/she is smart enough to use bold tags !

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 17 Sep 2004 20:36

It depends what you mean by "ok"

Personally I think you're making a mistake to commit yourself to marriage at such a young age and I think you'll regret it. Legally what you are doing is fine so long as there is nothing sexual. Morally it depends - personally you should do whatever makes you happy so long as it doesn't harm other people. However I would be a little worried that you are being taken advantage of by someone much older and more experienced than yourself.

Really though I don't think it is my place to tell you what you should or shouldn't do - make the decision yourself - you obviously feel some reservations/insecurities about it or you wouldn't be asking other people if they thought it was ok.

B_Man · Post by **B_Man** » 17 Sep 2004 20:57

Honestly, I think you are too young to make such a drastic decision that will ultimately be a very important part of your future (the engagement).

You may not think so now, but in 2 - 4 years time you may see otherwise.

LameR · Post by **LameR** » 17 Sep 2004 21:01

In my opinion you're too young for anything sexual, but then again what do I know? You're engaged? A 14 year old shouldn't be engaged...ending up pregnant before you even get into high school would be sad, ending up pregnant in high school would be too.

Muffinman · Post by **Muffinman** » 17 Sep 2004 23:56

I agree that 14 is very young. I don't think that marriage is about age, though. I love my girlfriend more than anything and I plan to marry her one day, but I am not going to rush into it. My plan is to wait a few years at least. At this point it seems like at least 4 (this is mostly considering school and other inconveniences). We have been together for a year and a half and I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with her. But to commit yourself to a life-long relationship is a pretty big fucking thing. I don't really understand how not taking, at least, a few years before marriage to understand yourselves and learn to live together could be a mature step in anybodies lives.

Why rush into marriage? Take the time to learn everything you could possibly ever know about your boyfriend (this is probably not possible). Move in together (an important step before marriage, I think). Don't rush.

Sorry I'm dead tired and it's really hot in here. I hope I made sense.

PS: Stephen Barnes -- not everybody thinks and feels the same way you appear to believe they do. Some people want more than sex. Grow up.

LameR · Post by **LameR** » 18 Sep 2004 00:21

Chan's right, especially the end part.

ShredPirate · Post by **ShredPirate** » 18 Sep 2004 02:59

hey im 22 and i thoughti had the girl of my dreams, but then decided im too young to be going after the girl of my dreams.

hope that helps. so at 14, i wouldnt get too comfortable with another person. it might turn into trouble. then again it might not. just have a steady relationship that isn't too involved right now. and then after knowing the person for a much much longer time, then i'd make the decision.

i am a strong believer that marriage IS about age, but that's just me cause i was living with my GF for 3/4 of a year.

Whatsfootbag? · Post by **Whatsfootbag?** » 18 Sep 2004 07:43

well,ive got some time,so ill throw in my .02 cents...

"Till death do us part"

You have to think about that statement.When you marry someone,you are creating a bond that only death should break,but even then in heaven (If you believe), your love can still go on,so I m ean haha how can you look at that lightly?You're 14,Im only 16,but I can tell you,I know that feeling of insane lust and you think you're inlove and you want to be with that person forever.Just do as Erik said,get to know the person inside and out before you decide to spend your life together.You also have to think about financial stuff too ya know?If you're 14,not many places would allow you to work,and he's only 18 and not out of college if he's going,so financially(sp) wise,it would be a huge step to overcome.Just really listen to your heart and not your lust and desires,and give it some time.Also I find the song Aqueous Transmission by Incubus helps to clear my head when I need to think

Good luck.

brian relly · Post by **brian relly** » 18 Sep 2004 07:44

Sorry.

420FootBager · Post by **420FootBager** » 18 Sep 2004 09:38

a bit creepy but I guess it's acceptible

Tsiangkun · Post by **Tsiangkun** » 18 Sep 2004 09:51

14 year, engaged ?
The guy isn't too old . . . but someone should explain to you how much you are going to chang between now and say 25.

AIvanyo · Post by **AIvanyo** » 18 Sep 2004 10:40

I don't think you actually understand true love. It could be one of those things when you're like, "I have a boyfriend so lets get married." I'm not trying to make fun of you, but take your time, you're only 14!

drewzbaby · Post by **drewzbaby** » 18 Sep 2004 10:55

its not a lust thing its a love thing. . . he asked me not the other way around i thot we wur rushing into it to fast it really scared me alot! but i am really comfortable with him and he wont make me do something i wouldnt want to do. his parents r really rich and they kno bout me and they are ok with it. i understand this is a HUGE commitment but i can do it. he isnt my first bf, but my first seriouse one. its alove, not lust

bigdirtyfoot · Post by **bigdirtyfoot** » 18 Sep 2004 11:27

I got engaged at 16. Didn't work out. Wait, maybe I was 15. Either way, it didn't work. But that's just my own two cents anyways. It might work for you; who knows. I know a few friends that got married at either 15 or 16 and they're still married and have a few kids. If that's what you want, I don't think anyone should tell you you can't do it.

max · Post by **max** » 18 Sep 2004 16:14

oh well if he comes from a rich family I guess that puts things into perspective...

Laroche · Post by **Laroche** » 18 Sep 2004 16:41

Garth, marriage is punishment for shop-lifting in some countries.

ShredPirate · Post by **ShredPirate** » 18 Sep 2004 17:23

if he came up with the engagement idea, and you thought it was rushing, then guess what? it's rushing. if you wanna stay with him, and not get married right away, don't lead him on into thinking you agree 100% with his idea. tell him you think it's moving too fast, and he should understand. if he doesn't, then he himself isn't old enough to be making these decisions.

you can get engaged anytime, cause you can always turn back at that point. but just wait on the marriage part. i'm sure you'd like a nice wedding, that you will remember forever, and well, i pesonally don't remember much of when i was 14, so if i got married i wouldn't remember any of it now