My girlfriend never calls me.

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Sergey
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My girlfriend never calls me.

Post by Sergey »

Ok guys, here is my story. I've been in Canada for 1 year now, but this summer when I got back home, met a girl and we started dating. We both fall in love (I couldn't find a better way to express my feelings :roll: ), but time passed and I had to flight back to Canada. At first I thought I we'd never be together again and it was just killing me. But discussed our problem and decided to be together as long as possible (of course the easiest way was to split up right away and don't suffer no more) no matter whether I'm in Canada or Russia. The good news is that I can be with her for a few weeks every winter and the whole summer (4 months to be precise) and the bad news is that she neither calls me nor sends e-mails and I can't find any explanations why this shit is happening. Ok, she doesn't have Internet access at home, but she can go to an Internet cafe and pay there like 10 cents to send me an e-mail. Furthermore It's not that expensive to give me a call once a month if you are using a special phone card. When I was talking on the phone with her yesterday (I called) I said something like that: "You know, I've been talking to my parents and we talked for 2 hours! The card they are using is cheap and they can get it anywhere, that's so cool!" As you can guess I thought she would ask what my phone number was or what's the name of the card, but she didn't.

It may seem to you that I'm complaining, but in fact I'm not. Purpose of this post is to get some feedback from you, footbagers. I really want to understand why she's not calling me. She doesn't care? She is too lazy to buy the fucking phone card? Am I a paranoid and there's no problem at all? I dunno. If she were abroad and I stayed at home I would call her once a week, I swear to god. I would do that, because I know how cool it is to hear someone who means something to you.

Any constructive feedback is very much appreciated.
Last edited by Sergey on 22 Sep 2004 17:43, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Posi-Cole »

I think the best way to find out what is going on would be to honestly ask her.

If you just dodge around the issue that it is unlikely to be resolved. Simply ask her, why do you not call me? Why do you not e-mail me? Ask her those questions directly and see what she says. If she has a good reason, then so be it, try to help her solve whatever the problem is. If she doesn't have a good reason, then that be the time to start worrying.

I think you just need to ask her first.
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Post by lightningbolt »

Okay, you may not want to hear this:

It sounds, IMO, that's she MIGHT want to break up. She doesn't have the guts to tell you. So, she becoming very distance. My sister did this same thing with most of her boyfrined because she wanted to break up. Most likely I am worng. Hell, I am only 15 so my advice might mean shit.....

I would ask, foshizzle. She might have no idea what she doing.
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Post by Sergey »

Yea man, I was thinking about asking her and I'm 100% sure if I ask her about it she will start calling me, etc. But the thing is that I don't want her make me call, I just think she's old enough to realize how it is important to do so sometimes. I want to understand why she's not doing that and that's it.
I'm not gonna ask her about it until I see her this winter.
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Post by FlexThis »

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Last edited by FlexThis on 13 Jul 2005 09:03, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by full nelson »

First, If she's under 20, I think lightningbolt hit it on the head. Young girls seem to be able to turn feelings on and off like lightswitches especially if you rarely see them.

Second, long distance is tricky business. Since, you're not wanting to tell her to call, I just wouldn't contact her anymore either and start the moving on process. If she's still into it, she'll get ahold of you. Don't seem needy to her. It's a killer.

Those are just lessons from my own personal experience. The best way to do it would be to talk about it and really get to the bottom of it as soon as possible. Waiting around for a few months seems like a nice thing to do, but if you wait around and she's not wanting to be with you when you get back, that's a lot of wasted time and heart ache.
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Post by Muffinman »

Do you ever phone her?
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Post by Sergey »

FlexThis wrote:Why set yourself up for disappointment? I mean if she cares she will call, sounds like you care more. Balance is important in a successful relationship.

But what do I know, I'm married with kids. :lol:
Word to that. :D

Chan wrote:Do you ever phone her?
Yes, I call her once a week and we usually talk for an hour or so; I also send her SMSs during the week.
full nelson wrote: First, If she's under 20, I think lightningbolt hit it on the head. Young girls seem to be able to turn feelings on and off like lightswitches especially if you rarely see them.

Second, long distance is tricky business. Since, you're not wanting to tell her to call, I just wouldn't contact her anymore either and start the moving on process. If she's still into it, she'll get ahold of you. Don't seem needy to her. It's a killer.

Those are just lessons from my own personal experience. The best way to do it would be to talk about it and really get to the bottom of it as soon as possible. Waiting around for a few months seems like a nice thing to do, but if you wait around and she's not wanting to be with you when you get back, that's a lot of wasted time and heart ache.


She is 21 now. And I do know that she will not turn her feelings, that's not my case. Of course maybe I'm saying that only becasue I lover her and don't want to see the bad side, I don't really know.
Last edited by Sergey on 21 Sep 2004 16:59, edited 3 times in total.
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Post by max »

hmmm got yourself in a tight spot there Ling.
I'd advise to stay WELL AWAY from long-distance relationships. They are a nightmare to work. If you're under 25 you havn't been seeing each other long before, just put it on hold. It's too emotionnaly draining otherwise. And you can get paranoid pretty quickly.

Anyway my opinion: doesn't sound good.
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Re: My girlfriend never calls me.

Post by mc »

ling wrote:My girlfriend never calls me.
that's funny, she calls *me*...

;) just kidding man. Dump her. Long distance is nonsense. You'll both be happier, and you won't miss out on anything. believe me, you can have the same nice, positive experiences with someone a lot closer.

Don't let the TV image of romance and relationships twist your mind into doing something pointless and stupid for a long period of time that you're going to regret with your whole heart afterwards...

........... like I did.

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Post by Shredster »

ling wrote:
My girlfriend never calls me.
that's funny, she calls *me*...
Excellent comeback!

Actually, i have a friend that somewhat had the same problem as you. One of them was moving away. So they made the decision to break up with each other. I can't see how you can stand it being away from each other for so long!!! HOWW???? I remember when i had a girlfriend, i couldn't stand to not see her for a week.

If she doesn't call you, i agree with lightningbolt in that she may want to break up with you. Thought that might break your heart, it may be in the best interest of both yourself and her.

At least thats what i would think. That, or she's extremely busy. I have a fat, lazy, *ex friend* i guess you could call it that never called me or anything and claimed he was always busy. But whenever i'd talk to that guy's ex girlfriend on the internet, sure enough, my *ex friend* would be talking with her...fricked up imo.
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Post by No_games »

As a girl i can reccomend you this: every girl wants to hear that her boyfriend loves her. Maybe you should tell her that you LOVE her. It will help her to realize that you realy want your relationship to become a bit more serious.
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Post by Matt »

my girlfriend doesn't. When i say that shes like "but you cant seriously LOVE me"


or maybe that was just before when she hated me. I dont know
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