The Dentist

[innersmile]

Wow, I'd forgotten just how much that sucked. I had been a bad little boy and not gone in a while but I went today. Shit, you'd think with all our amazing advances with technology and lasers etc that people would have come up with a more pleasant and less nerve racking way for humans to keep their oral hygene up. Even without the technology, surely people must have had the motivation to seek better ways to keep the smiles bright? Shit, once a decade would be bad enough!

The whole ordeal is just so unpleasant. Right from the word go when you start your steady decline in the chair. Then the light has to be adjusted, so it must burn a bit of your retenas before finding your mouth. You open wide and gag on the plastic x-ray thingy and told to just bite for a few secs while he goes to push the button. All the while the tears are streaming down your face and the gag reflex is pushed to new, unfathomable limits!

Small talk from both the assisstant and the Dr, hows work- great; hows life- was great until 5 minutes ago; you still smoking- yes; how are we going to get you to stop- I think this has done the trick etc etc.

Then, the curved, sickle like steel tooth pick, picking merrily around your teeth and gums while being closely examined with the mirror thing...Relax your tongue- I will if you take that fucking thing out of my mouth.

Time for a clean. Lots of noise, lots of water, lots of spit and plenty of sensitivity! That tiny spinning torture device they say is meant to clean your teeth, a lie! They used to use it to get answers in the military, its ability to clean teeth while destroying even the most sturdy of persons' will was an unplanned coincidence.

After a good 25 minutes of solid haydes, covered with sweat from tensing up and exhausted from gripping the handles I finally felt the chair groan as it began it's patient journey to uprightedness.

Unfortunately my tail of woe did not end there. I have to go back for a filling, sigh. Never again! They asked me if I wanted to come back later today- sure. Lemme have a smoke and hop right back on. Um, actually no, lets do it another time. I have engagements to keep and I can't be late.

21 Oct is when I'll have my first filling... If I could go under a local, Id do it in a flash. I'm so thankful I never needed braces...

[Zeke]

That reminds me, I have to go to work...

[Spadrick]

Man, I share your sentiments.

The dentist fuckin BLOWS. I hate it. i don't have perfect teeth and the dentist makes me VERY aware of that every time I visit. Here is my horror story.

I went in to see about getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I just wanted them to take a look and make an appointment. I got in there and got in the chair, and they started in on the whole open wide bs. They cleaned my teeth! Afterwards I said; "That was nice of you, now how about we look at my wisdom teeth? Hmm?". They gave me a odd look and they said that I needed an xray and that would be $10 up front. I said that I had an xray done a while back and it should be on file. They looked, and came back and told me that I needed to go to their other franchise of dentist devils and pick it up.

I walked an hour to the other side of town and picked it up, walked an hour back to them and sat in the waiting room. The nurse (assistant) came in and said; "Adam?". So I got up and went into the chair again. I had the envelope in my hand and she started to clean my fucking teeth again, saying how DIRTY THEY WERE! Where two hours earlier they were cleaned!

At this point I was livid. I almost screamed at her and said; "This establishment cleaned my teeth two hours ago! HOW COULD THEY BE DIRTY! I threw the envelope at her and said that I was originally here to get my wisdom teeth checked. She had this devious scared look on her face and she looked at me like I was lying, and she said; "That can't be right, your teeth are caked with plaque!". At this point I realized that this ditzy blonde wasn't going to listen to a word I said, so I went back into the lobby with her in tow, and I found the dentist that cleaned my teeth, and I gave him the envelope, briefly told him of the misunderstanding and put the bitch in her place in front of her boss.

I told him to call me with his thoughts on my wisdom teeth cause I was sick of the bullshit.

He hasn't called yet.

I fucking hate dentists. All of them. Even little ones.

[qphox]

Poor Zeke.

[ToxicHippo]

I also hate the dentist. I actually have braces.

A few days ago, I broke a bracket and had to go in. Well, in order to clean off "excess glue" they use a device similar to the drill. It smells the same, smoke comes out of it, you taste it for days to come, except instead of a blade, there is a rotating sharp thingy. So, he drills the fucker and goes to put a new bracket on. Well, THE FUCKER MISALIGNS iT. Instead of ripping off the bracket, he DRILLS part of my CANINE TOOTH AWAY. Without novacaine, I might add. It hurt so bad I was crying.

[Tsiangkun]

I think the two things that strike fear in the hearts of men are
Dentists and that sound a 12 gauge shotgun makes when a shell is racked.

[millenniumtree]

Wow, I've had pretty good experiences with dentists... And I got orthodontics done too... Brackets on my molars, and a big bow thingie I had to wear every frickin' night... And a huge torture device retainer I had to put in for hours every day (even at school) God that sucked... But overall, it wasn't all that bad...

But still, maybe there's a reason I haven't been to the dentist in almost 10 years...

[Whatsfootbag?]

i had an old lady that was tightening my bracis and wow....she was pushing realllly hard trying to tighten em and SLIP......rams the metal plyers into my gums..i let out a small kinda yelp with my mouth wide open and bit down really hard on her hand and the metal tool...she wa slike"oh dear are you ok hunny?" in a very nonchalant manner..i was like"DOES MY GUM HAVE A MASSIVE GASH IN IT!?!?" but i restrained myself and let her proceed...thankfully i never got her again