Friends on the internet?!

DoctorJay · Post by **DoctorJay** » 01 Nov 2005 11:13

What is your definition of friendship ?

Do some of the modified members fits this criteria ?

(I wrote down my random thoughts about internet friendshipness in my blog .)

I am very curious what do you think about this .

pips · Post by **pips** » 01 Nov 2005 18:17

Hmm...that's actually somewhat of a hard to describe word...friendship. Friends are the ones that I care for a lot and try to keep in touch with. They are the ones I get along with and can have fun with. They are the ones I appreciate and enjoy being with. All kinds of good stuff, and hopefully they think the same toward me. Something like that. I'd say there's a lot of friendship here on Modified. We all goof around and talk to each other and stuff. We meet up at tournaments and all that. I guess that's a start on describing friendship.

Skeletor · Post by **Skeletor** » 01 Nov 2005 18:32

well... the internet is a bit different these days I find..Its a smidge easier to tell if your talking to someone you actually dig or some crusty old man posing as a 15 year old.

As for footbag players, I think we're a unique community in the sense that you can give your cell phone number out on the net and meet up with someone if you happen to be passing through their city. Or just adding them to your msn list and chatting about footbag and eventually everything else.. you can usually tell whether you consider them a friend or not, whether its just a casual footbag friend or a new found connection. I have had a few of each category.. There is friendship on many levels.. and sadly not all footbaggers are cool so... yeah. you have to judge for yourself case to case usually. The internet is a big place and most people on it are bored or lonely.

Slowsis · Post by **Slowsis** » 01 Nov 2005 18:38

That was a very intelligent response!!

I agree whole heartedly with your description, but i beleive most footbag players i have met, online or otherwise, are aquaintences. My definition of friendship is a little more exclusive to those who i am willing to call up to chill with on a regular basis. Maybe if more footbaggers were in my area, more of them would be my friends. I don't beleive you can become friends with someone until you have spent a considerable amount of time in their presence, and therefore not a big advocate of online friendship.

Slowsis · Post by **Slowsis** » 01 Nov 2005 18:39

Arrrrg beat me to it didn't you Vida!!!!

That first comment was directed at Chrissy......but i guess at your post to!!

pips · Post by **pips** » 01 Nov 2005 19:15

Ah...aquaintences to me are the people I waved to in school hallways and had no clue what their names were (I did feel bad about the fact that I didn't know some of those people's names, too

). You can have long-distance friendships online. I have made plenty of friends online, especially since I started footbag. No. You can't just call a person up that lives on the other side of the nation or even world and say, "Hey, come hang out with me," but you can visit each other every now and then. I have met online friends in person. If I considered online people aquaintences, I would never even attempt to meet them in person. One of the only ways that I, PERSONALLY, agree that online relationships don't work is dating. I've seen it happen. I know it can work, but I don't really think I could handle it myself. I have to be with the person physically to consider us dating. But that could change if something pops up. I dunno. Right now, I don't think I could do it.

And to Vida, I don't know if it is easy to tell if someone is real or not, but usually you don't have to figure it out. Naturally, a friendship will last longer if it's all real.

Slowsis · Post by **Slowsis** » 01 Nov 2005 19:54

I guess i use a limited definition of friendship. I would say i have about 20 friends....and hundreds of aquaintences. Someone else might say they had hundreds of friends. Now....i like some of my aquaintences better than i like some of my friends....i just never really chill with them as much.
I guess i'm being a little to uptight about the term "friendship".

Maybe i should loosen up, then i'd have more friends!!

Skeletor · Post by **Skeletor** » 01 Nov 2005 21:55

uhhhh ionno. the internet is the internet.. if you're wise you can tell the shit from the crap..

thats all i've got..

yay footbag

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 02 Nov 2005 01:56

I think in person friends and internet friends are different. I think the main one is that with an internet friend most of your contact together is just talking about things (or typing) so in many ways you get a much deeper insight into the person. At the same time you really don't get a full idea of their personality and you don't get to have as much going out drinking or whatever with them. Talking to people in text is always a lot less emotional than talking in person and colder - hence I think there are way more arguements on the internet than people would have in person. For example if I meet somebody in person I wouldn't argue with them if they said George Bush was the greatest president ever (at least if I'd just met them) although I might say "that's certainly an opinion" or whatever. However if some guy comes and makes their first post on modified and says that I may take their post apart and strongly disagree (or I would mockingly agree) - either way it's a different way of communicating and I guess a different aspect of myself. I'm really stoked about the friends I've made through the internet and I'd be happy to help them out if they needed help or ask them for help if I needed it - ie. in many ways I'd treat them the same as other friends.

shredzilla · Post by **shredzilla** » 04 Nov 2005 06:30

Yeah I have a friend that I grew up with, but as he went through high school, he developed Social Anxiety Disorder. He never went out much, and hung out on the computer a lot. I remember even before the internet he would find these BBS sites where you could post, and like it was funny cuz we found this one way we could directly chat even before the internet. As the internet formed and became bigger, Yahoo and AIM came around, and eventually I never hung out with him in person again. I talk to this person probably every day or so, and we know each other practically inside and out, but I'll probably never see him in person again. It's very odd. Haha. The funny thing is, he's a lot more sociable online. Like, you'd think you were just talking to a regular person. But he's very quiet in real life. He's the type of guy that goes to movies, bars, etc. by himself and is completely content with that.

As a side note, do you find a lot of people are COMPLETELY different online than in person? I'm probably a horrible example of that. I'm almost exactly the same in person as I am online. Which means you're in trouble...

Guest_2 · Post by **Guest_2** » 04 Nov 2005 07:39

A friend is someone you would miss if you never talked with them again

mc · Post by mc » 04 Nov 2005 08:39

most of my relationships with footbag players occur online. Most of the players that I talk to online, I'll see in real life very rarely, although there's a few that I've never met. I consider a lot of these people that I interract with almost entirely via the internet to be some of my best friends in the whole world.

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 04 Nov 2005 08:48

I've never understood why people find it so hard to believe that freindship can be maintained over the internet. When I'm talking about footbag with someone, I tell them I've met friends from all over the country/world (<3 O'Wheel) through it. This is true in the sense that I talk to footbaggers online and also the friends I've met at tournies.

And really, if you think about it, you have all sorts of different kinds of friends that you interact with on a daily basis. You have friends that you know really deeply (Best friends), friends that you hang out with a lot (Good friends), and then you have people that you say "What's up" to in the hall (Aquaintances). So really, with all those different levels of friendships in real life (Not to imply that the internet isn't "real life"), I consider internet friends just a different level.

Moxie · Post by **Moxie** » 04 Nov 2005 10:54

I can understand why people find it hard to believe that "internet friends" are real friends. I remember years ago being really critical of someone very close to me who talked about her "friends" who were just some people on an e-mail list she posted on. It didn't help that I hardly spent any time on a computer and she had developed a very unhealthy addiction to it that was interfering with the rest of her life and personal relationships. Since I've become an active member of Modified, I can understand where she was coming from a lot better, though it's not interfering with my social life. But people who don't have something comparable to Modified seem to find it weird that we think we know each other just from e-mails and an online forum. It's understandable considering how new the internet is. I'm waiting to see studies done on this and internet dating.

On topic and then not so much:

My definition of a friend: A Quaker. No, no, wait. My working definition of a friend: We care about each other, we check to see that the other person is doing well, if they are not we make sure to pursue that and see if we can make their lives better/easier, someone I can rely on, and we voluntarily feel like sharing what deeper things are going on in our lives.

I have one internet footbag penpal and two very good internet footbag friends. I met one of the friends at Worlds and we now exchange e-mails often. The other exchanges PM's and e-mails with me on a pretty regular basis and I've never met her in person. The other day I was talking about my (internet) friend (I <3 Chrissy

) and this woman Jane couldn't figure out when in my life I had known the friend in person. It hadn't occurred to Jane that I would call someone my "friend" unless I had known them in real life.

pips · Post by **pips** » 04 Nov 2005 13:02

Aw, I <3 Emily!

I've never had people question me about calling internet friends, "friends," but I see where you are coming from. Friendships just happen. They can happen "normally," in person, or they can happen by mail or computer, etc. It is the belief of the people that friendships can exist in their situation and their effort to keep the friendships up.

FlexThis · Post by **FlexThis** » 04 Nov 2005 14:29

I tell actual people that I have friends on the net that I have never met, yet still share a kindship with them. I feel I have grown a lot as a person simply flaming and being flamed on by people. It has taught me alot about my own anger issues and helped me reach a more peaceful place inside.

I love all you guys, even the ones that in the past have adamantly disagreed and flamed on me.

If it weren't for these relationships, I might still be a bitter old man who hates the Big Add Poses. But as of today I am stronger for it and appreciate all the licks.

Hope that makes sense.

~peace
Damon

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 05 Nov 2005 14:44

In Chronological Order:

(<3 O'Wheel) --- BainbridgeShred

(I <3 Chrissy ) --- Moxie

I <3 Emily! --- Pips

STOP BITING MY STYLE

wolfpac444 · Post by **wolfpac444** » 05 Nov 2005 15:36

BainbridgeShred wrote:In Chronological Order:

(<3 O'Wheel) --- BainbridgeShred

(I <3 Chrissy ) --- Moxie

I <3 Emily! --- Pips

STOP BITING MY STYLE

Yours and every 13 year old girl on the internet's.

HG · Post by HG » 05 Nov 2005 15:44

Please, no more PW3ED images. --Mike

HG · Post by HG » 06 Nov 2005 06:03

mike told me he loved pwn3d images, so i posted one. he OBVIOUSLY didnt edit my comment

its too bad i was out of paper plates...