Emilyâ€™s request to stop being attacked

Moxie · Post by **Moxie** » 29 Oct 2006 14:49

I am writing this because of Chris, but referring to my other experiences over the last few years on Modified as well. I think itâ€™s silly for people to wonder why there arenâ€™t more women posting on the forum if this is the way we are treated in general.

To understand what I am talking about, please see the threads in the Discussion section about Chris Miller and Images/Spamming the forum, and signatures.

This post is sort of a continuation of the story of what started Chris Miller spamming the forum with an image of me and my boyfriend Fletcher Funk.

Chris blamed me for him not getting his way and Samâ€™s signature image not being removed from the forum. He decided to use the pictures that Fletch and I had just posted in the Post Your Pic thread, and put them on the bodies of the characters he was upset with in Samâ€™s signature image, then he cleverly changed the words to say that I was going to â€œeat a dick.â€

PegLegHolly · Post by **PegLegHolly** » 29 Oct 2006 15:01

i agree that this wasnt a funny issue on modified and that it needed to be taken care of. i also agree with "why do people wonder why more women arent posting when things like this happen". but this isnt only an issue of male attacking a female. this is footbagger against footbagger. there seems to be a larger issue now more than ever about the unity in footbag. why cant people get along? what can we all do to unite? how can we make the footbag community a strong community where insults are virtually not there and when an insult is made its only a joke and not an insult and a joke at the same time? there certainly is a line to draw between the two.

im glad that the situation is being taken care of and im glad that in the end footbag is the way to blow of steam. footbag is still a productive thing.

i dont know if im making since.

but im being sincere when i say, emily, im proud of how things were handled in this situation and i hope that youre feeling better. hopefully bitterness wont linger and hopefully everyone can just forgive and move on.

footbag hard and love it.

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 29 Oct 2006 15:52

Chris's actions are typical of someone having grown up in the feminist era. He's to blame as much as society.

C-Fan · Post by **C-Fan** » 29 Oct 2006 15:59

Seriously, behavior like Chris', and comments like Dan's make me amazed that there are ANY women in footbag. If we had a black admin and people made nigger jokes, that wouldn't be tolerated. But since Emily is a girl, people somehow think that's fair game to attack her. That's completely fucked up.

I also think its really lame to blame bad behavior on being drunk. Suck it up and take responsibility for your actions.

Modified is capable of being better than this. Step up.

david · Post by **david** » 29 Oct 2006 16:31

C-Fan wrote: Modified is capable of being better than this. Step up.

Really? The people who made this a solid and worthwhile community have left for the most part. Don't you think the current state is a reflection of the people who occupy it?

How can modified be better? Most of the people don't have much to offer in ways of information, most are new and searching for information that for the most part isnt out there. That leads to people spreading for the most part bullshit or opionins without much backup. What is a better modified to you? Can the things you used to like about modified be brought back with the current community?

david

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 29 Oct 2006 17:11

Go fuck yourself, Ken, I didn't say a word to Emily. Politically correct morons like yourself ruin society.

C-Fan · Post by **C-Fan** » 29 Oct 2006 17:13

Hm, Dan seems to have argued your point better than you did Dave.

dyalander · Post by **dyalander** » 29 Oct 2006 17:27

I think everyone needs to keep sight of the specific issue at hand here.

In specific terms it doesn't matter who's to blame - society or the individual - it matters what we do about it. You can discuss who's to blame in another thread. In terms of the forum individuals need to take responsibility for their actions, and need to be treated as individually responsible for their actions

How can modified be better? I think we need to remember that this is something of an isolated instance, and for the vast majority of the posts, this forum and its users conduct themselves maturely. But there are occasions where users (and this is ALL users, mods, admins, everyone) can try to be more accomodating of one another. Users can pay more attention to what they're putting in their posts and make them more considered. In "information terms" perhaps you are right, but that's a seperate issue

BainbridgeShred · Post by **BainbridgeShred** » 29 Oct 2006 17:29

Hm, Dan seems to have argued your point better than you did Dave.

go fuck yourself. you're a patsy.

ashleyd · Post by **ashleyd** » 29 Oct 2006 19:01

I find it helps to write whatever you feel at the time, and then go back and edit it before you hit submit. For example, I posted in Jeremy Mirkens Alpine thread, and I was like wtf you're being a stupid Jerk AGAIN! and said all the things that made my point. Then, I went back and edited everything out except the relevant facts pertaining to the situation and it seemed like a nice post

Man, I should go check that..

edit: OOps... I should be on the QuantumBalance account.

HighDemonslayer · Post by **HighDemonslayer** » 29 Oct 2006 19:41

Wow, seems pretty dis-respectful to an admin, and a lady at that.

Ban his ass for some weeks, or months, or however long you want.

You have the power, use it.

Don't let yourself be humiliated by some child-ish , personal attacks.

Your position as admin might be damaged by allowing this crap.

-n

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 29 Oct 2006 20:34

It's no surprise that this has happened. The fact is there are fewer girls on modified now than there were 2 years ago.

The only significant thing that has changed since then is the introduction of the secret girls only forum. Since it was introduced with the sole purpose of encouraging girls to post on this forum more, they've actually started posting on here less, the treatment of girls on the forum has got worse and the shreditas.com website has become inactive.

While it is impossible to do more than speculate as to if the girls only secret forum has attributed to this or not - I feel, as the person who suggested that idea, talked to a lot of girls (and guys) about it and made it happen that it's completely failed in its objectives and that it was a mistake in creating it.

I also think that Emily has absolutely no experience running internet forums - nor do any of the other current mods and admins and I think modified has definitely gone from being one of the best run internet forums to just as bad as all the rest. Rather than saying "I'm sure they're doing the best they can etc." maybe it would be good to set some key performance indicators and some goals of what the forum should be achieving. If the mods and admins are incapable of achieving these goals they should be replaced - maybe in an election since this forum should belong to the people who post on it and not the friends of past admins.

The reason I bring this is up is mainly because I want female footbag to be encouraged and I feel very strongly - as do a number of other people of both genders - that the secret forum is actually having a counter-productive effect.

I'm sure there is a small portion of girls who post in that forum who would like it to stay but the decision should not be based on what we think is good for them but what we think is good for female footbag overall and indeed for footbag overall.

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » 29 Oct 2006 20:37

I also think the other 5 secret forums should be deleted (if they haven't been already) or at least all of them apart from the mods/admins forum - I think that one should be public too but it's not a big deal. This is obviously a side issue and I don't really think it has much effect on footbag, just on this forum - which I can't say I really care about either.

Iron Clad Ben · Post by **Iron Clad Ben** » 29 Oct 2006 20:41

I've seen my fair share of inappropriate topics or discusions about Emily (and I've only been on this board less than a year) where I cringe thinking about what she feels like when she reads them. There are just some things that should not be posted on the web.

I actually was the antagonist (accidently) one time when someone posted a bunch of pictures of Emily and I said something like "OMG you should make a 'post your pic of Emily' topic because you all luv her so much" which was pretty jerky of me to single her out. It didn't cross my mind it would offend her at the time, I thought I was just being funny, I later apologized. It was definitely not cool. But I've seen much worse. Come on guys.

Personally attacking anyone on a public forum like this is just not cool. We shouldn't have a tolerance for it. You wouldn't go to a footbag tournament and go around telling everyone insulting things about another player or shout out slanderous stuff in front of everyone. I know we don't have a charter but I think we should consider creating one.

Many years ago on newsgroups I was repeatedly attacked by this lunatic. He did some terrible stuff, including trying to sue me... don't get me started. It sucked. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Switch Kicker · Post by **Switch Kicker** » 30 Oct 2006 06:13

Sexist pigs... That's all I can say.

Why does that seem to be the only thing guys think about? It's degrading to think about that fact...

I mean come on, yes, sex is fun, and enjoyable, but it's only appropriate to talk about it when it's in the appropriate situation, and talking about someone else's sex life, especially when it's meant to insult them, is completely wrong. And I feel embarrassed as a guy, when I hear other guys talking about it. Because it's just so stupid and degrading... the male gender is so fucking pathetic, and the only way to really fit in, comfortably as a male, is to be rather in touch with your femanine side... otherwise you're just going to be an insensitive ass who's more likely to get a sexual harassment charge against you...

I do'nt know... I just feel pathetic whenever I see other guys being insensitive assholes... especially about sex. Because in real life,I'm almost overly sensitive about these kinds of subjects... very sensitive... Overly sensitive, lol, ask The Vendicator, he knows all about my rediculous morals, lmfao.

Anywho...

I appologize to Moxie for Chris' absurd actions, and the actions of anyone else that has done anything to degrade her about anything, it's wrong, and shouldn't be tolerated, especially not here.

And Chris should be ashamed... because you're utterly, and truely pathetic.

Peace,
Fred.

slapdash21 · Post by **slapdash21** » 30 Oct 2006 06:29

wow, you're a real hero, bitch-kicker

BalinorNZ · Post by **BalinorNZ** » 30 Oct 2006 07:26

Jeremy wrote:I also think that Emily has absolutely no experience running internet forums - nor do any of the other current mods and admins and I think modified has definitely gone from being one of the best run internet forums to just as bad as all the rest.

I disagree with this statement.

I can't speak for the other mods but I have admined or moderated several forums in the past 5 years, footbag related and not.

I think Emily is doing a very good job of running the forum, even though it isn't entirely her job she takes over much of what goes on as the rest of us are quite busy at the moment (though i'm sure she is too). If you were still allowed access to the mods forum Jeremy, you would see how much she is organising

.

I also think that modified has become a better place than it was years ago, sure there are flame wars and mishaps, but need I remind you about Damon, or any of the other antagonists of the past?

I think modified has become more friendly to new players and has grown as a resource for both freestyle knowledge and especially stitching knowledge.

I think we can at least say modified isn't turning into footbag.org, there certainly aren't any tussoks rolling by just yet

.

Switch Kicker · Post by **Switch Kicker** » 30 Oct 2006 10:34

slapdash21 wrote:wow, you're a real hero, bitch-kicker

Was that neccessary? I mean, was it honestly neccessary? Were you going to die if you didn't pipe in with that pointless comment? Whatever, forget it.

And there's no "-" in my name. Why don't you get a name that does't require a number to make it "original."

Ugh, walking away...

Peace.

slapdash21 · Post by **slapdash21** » 30 Oct 2006 11:16

A. yes, because otherwise you might go on thinking you did something cool or good
B. mine didnt 'require' a number
C. i'd bet anyone that you really did just stand up and walk away from your computer.
D. umbass

BenRea · Post by **BenRea** » 30 Oct 2006 11:54

i love how there is flaming in a topic primaraly ABOUT flaming. this is all too funny, i think flaming and abusive messages are for the most part, out of the control of mods. except for baning...but that wouldnt be too fun if you got banned just for flamming a few times. you gotta remember this is different from real life and people can be one thing on the internet and a totally different thing in real life.