Shit

lightningbolt · Post by **lightningbolt** » 19 Feb 2005 19:17

Hee hee hee, I got a C in Biology. Thats only because I didn't study for half of the tests and the teacher was a asshole. He didn't like me at all and he told me that. I think it's because my best friend and I were both in that class and we tended to talk alot and were just annoying.

Moving on,

My brother lives far out of town so his wife, his son whos 4 months, and him always driving into town. It's about a hours drive each way. So on one of these many trips his son, Gabe, got a dirty diaper. So he changed it and left it on the seat. A month or so rolled on by and it was like 40 degrees outside and things started to smell in the car; they couldn't figuer out why. So, he was giving my sister sarah and her friend James a lift to his house. To make a long story short, James sat in the month old baby crap. I'm tried of typing.

hacksterbator · Post by **hacksterbator** » 19 Feb 2005 23:43

i don't like pooing.

i always assume that taking a big poo (where it hurts abit) is like the reverse of what anal rape would feel like. you know, with it going in instead of coming out. i don't wanna know what anal rape feels like and just big poos make me cringe.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » 01 Mar 2005 13:38

*cuts tiny chunk out of largest composition he's ever written*

...according to Dr. Jules Black, an OB/GYN; "the most common cause of UTI’s, Yeast infections, and vaginitis is deficient hygiene caused by wiping from back to forward after defecation and urination, bringing naturally occurring organisms from the bowel to where they don’t belong, the vagina and urethra.”

As for men, it doesn't seem to matter what your technique is (though, why would you want to know); but as far as women are concerned, there should (hopefully) be no question on the subject.

Anyways...um...right

Asmus · Post by **Asmus** » 01 Mar 2005 13:55

What if the only thing you do when youre not shredding is eating?

B_Man · Post by **B_Man** » 01 Mar 2005 16:38

Haha, James story made me laugh. I've always wanted to know what someone would do if they found a log in the urinal!

Not a poo story, but before I moved my friends and I (who had such great fun acting immature) crowded into one stall within th ebathroom at the school.

6 guys. 1 stall.

What was even more funny was the look of people's faces when they saw 6 people walk out from one stall, acting like nothing was wrong.

Ah memories...

slapdash21 · Post by **slapdash21** » 02 Mar 2005 18:08

earlier when i was running free swims (remember, me=lifeguard) i had to take a shit, and i cant leave anyone in the pool while im gone, so i made all the kids stand and wait in the bathroom while i did it

Guest_2 · Post by **Guest_2** » 27 Nov 2005 21:03

slapdash21 wrote:earlier when i was running free swims (remember, me=lifeguard) i had to take a shit, and i cant leave anyone in the pool while im gone, so i made all the kids stand and wait in the bathroom while i did it

Slowsis · Post by **Slowsis** » 27 Nov 2005 23:25

Speaking of shit and footbag.....

I have heard of high level athletes in other sports getting enemas before they compete.

Supposedly loosens you up real good!!

B_Man · Post by **B_Man** » 27 Nov 2005 23:35

Another poo story:

I was a big fan of wearing rubber boots when I was little. One day, I was outside and it struck my like a ton of bricks. Seeing and hearing no one around, I dropped the trunks and squated beside the house. Turns out that when I did this, it opened up the back of the boot and guess what fell in

.

I'm not going into how I got it out.

Blackend · Post by **Blackend** » 28 Nov 2005 10:18

I hate those acid shits that you take after eating a spicey food. They hurt the cornhole a bit too much.

I always have to poop at work. Think it makes me look lazy?

sniikeri · Post by **sniikeri** » 28 Nov 2005 10:37

TheVindicator wrote:
slapdash21 wrote:earlier when i was running free swims (remember, me=lifeguard) i had to take a shit, and i cant leave anyone in the pool while im gone, so i made all the kids stand and wait in the bathroom while i did it

I don't even want to know what you were searching...

(check out the dates)

sweet_hack · Post by **sweet_hack** » 28 Nov 2005 12:22

I wipe from the upper crack the the down region to get all the good stuff from my bum.

Chim-Chim · Post by **Chim-Chim** » 28 Nov 2005 12:47

I've got a story!!

I was eating a lot of beans and rice... like 4 big plates full every day.

One day, the 2nd poopy came on, and my brother was already doin the same thing in our 1 bathroom.

I proceeded (as I had several times before) to put a 20 gallon garbage bag in a 5 gallon bucket.... well I didn't fill it up but it was stinky*. I put it out in the alley trash can because who the f*** would want that in their own home?

A bum had been digging in my garbage and making a mess for some time, months at least; peering off my balcony around noon, I watched as he opened up the garbage, pulled his arm back,

and wiped it off on his own clothes (smart bum eh?).

I never saw him after that.. well I did but he always skipped my trash can.

*mushy and soft, as any bean eater could tell you

HG · Post by HG » 28 Nov 2005 13:13

Ahh... the classic thread returns.

well i now have a routine. its my bodily clock

i walk in the door for lunch, and i have to piss. it doesnt matter if i had to before, but once i step into my house the piss needs to flow.

20 minutes after i get home from school i have to dookie. its a system.
EVERY DAY

Chim-Chim · Post by **Chim-Chim** » 28 Nov 2005 14:02

Is this thread for stories or just general talk about bodily excrement?

henry - "everybody poops"

james_dean · Post by **james_dean** » 28 Nov 2005 19:28

hahaha, oh... the story about the bum... that's pure gold... major props

*Jethro* · Post by ***Jethro*** » 29 Nov 2005 06:14

I stood on the toilet seat one day for fun and dropped a log. I swear it was like a foot long and just swooped down gracefully into the toilet. NO SPLASH. A perfect ten. Then it just slid up the other end of the toilet and I didnt see it again.

I took another log standing up but it came out as a ball and splashed.

B_Man · Post by **B_Man** » 29 Nov 2005 10:07

Fack Jesse!

Blackend · Post by **Blackend** » 29 Nov 2005 11:05

Ah, the mysteries of ghost poop.

footjoe · Post by **footjoe** » 29 Nov 2005 11:45

dude ghost poop is scary , you feel like your taking a shit then look and to the horror of your eyes nothing is there