Too much has happened since I last posted.
I've been on a crazy roller coaster I spose.
I did that footbag performance, I performed with this great beatboxer that I was really impressed by. I don't think I did that great, or that the crowd was ready to connect that much. I can also understand why though, it was like.. 10AM and they were all frosh (first year students (and in this case at York University(which is kinda near Toronto))) and at some club fair thing and then up we come onto the stage they'd set up. So they were all like all new to eachother and not really gelled enough to be getting worked up into a froth together yet. The performance was like.. minutes (it felt like a lifetime) of him soloing to lead me in and then eventually we had this signal that I was waiting for, some count down of sorts. I sorta dropped right at the start and I think that must have made them think 'aw this guys gonna suck', but then I dropped a second bag to my toe and went right into some tiltless and I distinctly heard a pick up in the audience reaction.
Oh yeah, and I performed wearing my new Quantums and a pair of tight knee-length cut off jeans and my green hackrifice shirt. I wanted to look like a dude, not a crazy athlete.
Anyways, it was filmed and I'm told I'll get to see it. He offered for me to do the noon show that would feature the breakdancers until later he realized he'd sorta overbooked the second show so I'd be redundant at that point. So he slipped me a cheque for $120 we shook hands and I was off! Also, he gave me $10 extra in cash because I had mentioned I was almost out of gas and had no cash.
That day sorta went on forever. I did some errands and stitched some stuff and later met up with Liam to hack and hang out. That led to a whole pile of fun including meeting two of his friends, both of whom tried my fixed gear with much interest. Actually, one of the people was more of a re-meeting because we went to the same highschool and knew each other a bit. Anyways, he's a pretty interesting story too, but perhaps that's better left for another day.
I want to cut the talking about this particular day short and mention that I hit bling blang both sides finally.
Also, I want to cut to the chase,
Peng and I broke up.
Today there's no wind in my sails..
Is this my chance to finally step up and take control of my life for real finally? We are still *something*, kinda like how we started, but that's mostly because we couldn't ever just feel nothing for each other. I think this is where her and I make a run for it and shoot for the moon.
Maybe some day I'll be more responsible and dependable and the kind of guy she wants. It's crazy to think I stumbled across her almost exactly 2 years ago, what a hard find to let go of! I guess we had to be honest and recognize that it was inevitable if we were planning to move to different continents anyways. We still love each other alot.
I am calling it now, Pengpeng Du is going to be some mega gigantic superstar of some sort. I know the potential this little girl has, truly stunning sometimes!
That said, I have also set my sights majestically high.
Anyways, we are both super in debt and need to raise money to, you know, keep surviving and all that so it'd be super great if people bought bags and shirts and hoodies from us! Please!
Hmm, maybe typing about the sitch has been sorta therapeutic for me. I've been feeling super blue today. And I was trying so hard just to get myself rolling, to do the things I had to do.. I did some of the stuff, I guess now that I've let some of this out I feel a bit lighter, maybe I can get something done.
You know what though??
Why DON'T I step the fuck up?? I need to do several things to make ground towards 'growing up'. I need to take serious financial control of my life. I suppose that means getting a job, that was the main thing I was to be working on today like every other day. I need to work for maybe 2 or 3 months until the paperwork for Germany has gone through. I need to work as hard as I can to save up money to move away forever. I've got things pretty figured out on the other end. I can go into that more later.
I need food or something.
No, I need to go take pictures of all the products that I screen printed so that everyone can see it and start drooling/sending me money.
*deep breath*
Remember to breathe Tom..
sigh
Group hug?
